honeymoon registries

daniellekasper · February 2010

So, my fiance and I are looking into doing a honeymoon registry because he has always wanted to go to Hawaii and we aren't sure if we can afford it on our own. I was just wondering if anyone has any good suggestions of which one to go with. Thanks!

betrothed123 · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_honeymoon-registries-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:9fba8597-6dc2-4196-936e-f7fcdfa760d7Post:ca375b0b-17b1-403d-b79e-1e49260a5abb">Re: honeymoon registries</a>:
[QUOTE] I don't really think they are paying "for your sex fest" lol although that is a funny analogy.
Posted by tinydancer842[/QUOTE]
I'm honestly curious as to what you think a HM is. How would the guests not be paying for your sex fest if they pay for your entire vacation, of which the main purpose is to spend alone time with your new spouse, and have a lot of sex?

tinydancer842 · February 2010

I just think you are just being a tad dramatic. Maybe I am biased but, FI & I have been together 7 years & we live together so while we will definitely be "getting busy" we are really excited to explore Hawaii & have a great time doing non-sex related things too. So I don't think just because we are on our "honeymoon" we aren't going to change our sex habits or spend thousands of dollars to go to Hawaii to lock ourselves in our room to have sex -- if we wanted that we'd save the money & stay home. I just found it funny that you call it a sex fest & I am not saying you are wrong or it's a bad opinion to have. I guess I just have a less sex driven notion of honeymoons

tinydancer842 · February 2010

Also if you noticed I changed my position on the registries based on what I just found out, I don't know much about them because I am not doing one.

Also I've seen plenty of brides get sexy lingerie at their showers which is basically saying "I hope you get laid in this" so what's the difference. Sex & marriage go hand in hand =P Just playing devils advocate.

betrothed123 · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_honeymoon-registries-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:9fba8597-6dc2-4196-936e-f7fcdfa760d7Post:6cfb97be-11b1-440e-a0ce-c19ebe77b6ec">Re: honeymoon registries</a>:
[QUOTE]I just think you are just being a tad dramatic. Maybe I am biased but, FI & I have been together 7 years & we live together so while we will definitely be "getting busy" we are really excited to explore Hawaii & have a great time doing non-sex related things too. So I don't think just because we are on our "honeymoon" we aren't going to change our sex habits or spend thousands of dollars to go to Hawaii to lock ourselves in our room to have sex -- if we wanted that we'd save the money & stay home. I just found it funny that you call it a sex fest & I am not saying you are wrong or it's a bad opinion to have. I guess I just have a less sex driven notion of honeymoons :)
Posted by tinydancer842[/QUOTE]
Oh honey, it's not just me. It's people in general. You have to be pretty blind to not see that. My H and I definitely did not spend our entire HM in our room, nor did we necessarily change our sex habits. We went to Washington D.C. for our HM, and definitely spent the majority of every day seeing the sights. That having been said, I don't know of a single person who doesn't expect to have a ton of sex on their HM.

tinydancer842 · February 2010

I never said it was just you nor disagreed with your opinion, this is my opinion. you don't need to agree with me, I am just sharing my thoughts on the matter & I just find it funny the way you worded it.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · February 2010

Cash is always a welcome present. People attending your wedding know that and don't need to be told. The appropriate action is a small regular registry of upgrades (new sheets/towels/rolling pin) and then, when people ask, say, "Well, we have a small registry and BB&B, but we are also saving up for a honeymoon to Hawaii."

[Deleted User] · February 2010

Wow ok, what a bunch of snobs.
We used a hm registry and everybody raved about it.
The back story. We are both in our 30's aready outright own our own home,have pretty much brand spanking new everything for our home and honesly the last thing either one of us wanted were freaking damn dishes we would never in a million years use.
We unlike op could afford our hm and did (it was actually paid off 6 months before it ever occured). What we used our registry for where the excursions. I can tell you we have some amazing pics from our hm of the excursions we did. We printed them out and sent them in our thank you notes.
I will say our wedding was small (25 couples as well as their children) all were family and close friends. So, I suppose that could make a difference in how people reacted to our hm registry vs a traditional. registry.
As for a sexfest...hahahah...no more so than our every day lives which is well pretty much everday to begin with.
Also, as for the TA or whomever taking a percentage. Pretell how is that any different than a traditonal registry when the guest buys a item and pays sales tax on it (unless you live in a state with no sales tax that is)? For our registry the fee was 7% our normal sales tax is 6% (no, sales tax was NOT added on top of the 7% fee).
I say go for the hm you can afford to take and use a registry for extras but DO NOT rely soley on the registry for you hm that, is actually a bit on the tacky side.
Anyway, just wanted to add my two cents as an older possibly more establised bride than some of the ladies here.

jmestyle · February 2010

I don't see anything wrong with HM registries. Its not any worse than depending on mom and dad to dish out 30+k for a wedding.
I was going back and forth with hm options and was planning on cutting it out altogether. So many people suggested I do a registry for it. I can't rely on that but it doesn't mean I'm against it.
Also, I talked to Jen (Travel By VIP) about this and with her they don't take a "cut" of that money.

Its whatever you want to do

AmoroAgain · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_honeymoon-registries-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:9fba8597-6dc2-4196-936e-f7fcdfa760d7Post:98b8a599-31f6-4999-8ec7-f986675cba0a">Re: honeymoon registries</a>:
[QUOTE]Wow ok, what a bunch of snobs. We used a hm registry and everybody raved about it. The back story. We are both in our 30's aready outright own our own home,have pretty much brand spanking new everything for our home and honesly the last thing either one of us wanted were freaking damn dishes we would never in a million years use. We unlike op could afford our hm and did (it was actually paid off 6 months before it ever occured). What we used our registry for where the excursions. I can tell you we have some amazing pics from our hm of the excursions we did. We printed them out and sent them in our thank you notes. I will say our wedding was small (25 couples as well as their children) all were family and close friends. So, I suppose that could make a difference in how people reacted to our hm registry vs a traditional. registry. As for a sexfest...hahahah...no more so than our every day lives which is well pretty much everday to begin with. Also, as for the TA or whomever taking a percentage. Pretell how is that any different than a traditonal registry when the guest buys a item and pays sales tax on it (unless you live in a state with no sales tax that is)? For our registry the fee was 7% our normal sales tax is 6% (no, sales tax was NOT added on top of the 7% fee). I say go for the hm you can afford to take and use a registry for extras but DO NOT rely soley on the registry for you hm that, is actually a bit on the tacky side. Anyway, just wanted to add my two cents as an older possibly more establised bride than some of the ladies here.
Posted by monkeygirl18[/QUOTE]

Dude I remember your picture, and that you were annoying.

And in WHAT WAY is a SALES tax the same as a FEE that goes directly into the pocket of someone with whom you have zero connection and you're just paying them for collecting money? Sales tax goes to the government and is used for roads, and for educating children. Something you must have missed out on, apparently.

Why are we snobs for not liking honeymoon registries? If that means that I dislike something that is money grubbing and tacky, I'll take it. I'd rather be known as your version of "snobby" than as someone who takes money from people to take a vacation.

AmoroAgain · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_honeymoon-registries-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:9fba8597-6dc2-4196-936e-f7fcdfa760d7Post:ff65c668-4d52-4f7c-963f-bb4f3397a7d7">Re: honeymoon registries</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't see anything wrong with HM registries. <strong>Its not any worse than depending on mom and dad to dish out 30+k for a wedding.</strong> I was going back and forth with hm options and was planning on cutting it out altogether. So many people suggested I do a registry for it. I can't rely on that but it doesn't mean I'm against it. Also, I talked to Jen (Travel By VIP) about this and with her they don't take a "cut" of that money. Its whatever you want to do :)
Posted by jmestyle[/QUOTE]

*scratches head* Both of these are equally noxious.

jmestyle · February 2010

oh and as for the "sex fest" comment, thats ridiculous!
Are you also not going to register for white sheets so the village won't be able to hold them up in search for red spots?!

I mean, hm's are more modern these days. Most couples have been living together before the wedding so the sex isn't the main attraction for a hm. Its more about the adventures and experiences and memories.
Those secluded resorts are not as popular as they used to be. Couples seek more for their money

tinydancer842 · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_honeymoon-registries-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:9fba8597-6dc2-4196-936e-f7fcdfa760d7Post:bf4aa724-28ec-4700-8980-64082b45d11b">Re: honeymoon registries</a>:
[QUOTE] Are you also not going to register for white sheets so the village won't be able to hold them up in search for red spots?!
Posted by jmestyle[/QUOTE]
I don't understand your analogy here.

[Deleted User] · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_honeymoon-registries-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:9fba8597-6dc2-4196-936e-f7fcdfa760d7Post:d5b29214-e16c-4a64-ae8f-bff8d7b2746e">Re: honeymoon registries</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: honeymoon registries : Dude I remember your picture, and that you were annoying. And in WHAT WAY is a SALES tax the same as a FEE that goes directly into the pocket of someone with whom you have zero connection and you're just paying them for collecting money? Sales tax goes to the government and is used for roads, and for educating children.
Posted by AmoroAgain[/QUOTE]

Oh now THAT is funny. Ok, if you really believe that ALL the money you pay in sales tax is really going for roads and such and not in someones pocket whom you have no connection to then you surely are missguided. That's like saying all the money from payroll taxes is being used for good and NOT going in someones pocket.
I've had to deal with snobs all my life and actually, I'd much rather be known as practical and tacky person if you will than a snob.
Also as a pp said how is a hm registry any different than having mommy and daddy pay for your wedding. I know MY parents didn't pay a cent for my wedding.
To each their own opinion. That, is what makes the USA so great right?

squirrly · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_honeymoon-registries-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:9fba8597-6dc2-4196-936e-f7fcdfa760d7Post:18e9a7d9-8190-4de2-a40f-54c959c9067b">Re: honeymoon registries</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: honeymoon registries : Oh now THAT is funny. Ok, if you really believe that ALL the money you pay in sales tax is really going for roads and such and not in someones pocket whom you have no connection to then you surely are missguided. That's like saying all the money from payroll taxes is being used for good and NOT going in someones pocket. I've had to deal with snobs all my life and actually, I'd much rather be known as practical and tacky person if you will than a snob. <strong>Also as a pp said how is a hm registry any different than having mommy and daddy pay for your wedding. I know MY parents didn't pay a cent for my wedding.</strong> To each their own opinion. That, is what makes the USA so great right?
Posted by monkeygirl18[/QUOTE]

Good for you. Is that pertinent information for your guests when they're deciding what to give you?

And on the tax - that's completely irrelevant. When purchasing a gift, you have to pay whatever fees are charged by the store(s) that sell it. You're welcome to search out cheaper options, etc. When giving cash, the assumption is that the recipient gets the cash. All of it. Not part of it. The giver can avoid that by not using the registry. The bride and groom can avoid it all together by not doing a cash registry and instead depending on word of mouth.

king26 · February 2010

I noticed that everyone who wants a HM registry always says, but FI and I have lived together for blah blah years and don't need anything. Really? My FI and I have lived together for 5 years and I can think of a lot of things we need or want. Or you can upgrade. We have a lot of stuff, but we're registering for new dishes, a better food processor, new sheets, things that you can upgrade. I mean I think it's so lame to say you have everything. if I asked my mom today if there was anythign she needed after living with my dad for 33 years I guarentee she'd give me a huge list of things that coul dbe upgraded.
Do yourself a favor and can the HM registry and register for some household upgrades.

jumpstart50 · February 2010

I went ahead and skipped over all of the negative-nancys who don't know what they're talking about.
Not all honeymoon registries have fees. I'm thinking about doing ours through Marriott. There is no service fee and guests can pay for specific items like a romantic dinner on the beach, or breakfast in bed,or snorkeling. After your wedding they send you a giftcard with all of your goodies on it and you can use it at any Marriott around the world.
Once again, no service fees. Your guests are truly just paying for what you get. I don't believe there is anything tacky about that.

flame away dragons.

AmoroAgain · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_honeymoon-registries-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:9fba8597-6dc2-4196-936e-f7fcdfa760d7Post:18e9a7d9-8190-4de2-a40f-54c959c9067b">Re: honeymoon registries</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: honeymoon registries : Oh now THAT is funny. Ok, if you really believe that ALL the money you pay in sales tax is really going for roads and such and not in someones pocket whom you have no connection to then you surely are missguided. That's like saying all the money from payroll taxes is being used for good and NOT going in someones pocket. I've had to deal with snobs all my life and actually, I'd much rather be known as practical and tacky person if you will than a snob. Also as a pp said how is a hm registry any different than having mommy and daddy pay for your wedding. I know MY parents didn't pay a cent for my wedding. To each their own opinion. That, is what makes the USA so great right?
Posted by monkeygirl18[/QUOTE]

ZOMG11!!!! GO USA FOR ALLOWING OPINIONS!! WTF? That's ridiculous, as are all of the arguments you've made here. Really.

Sure, all the stuff doesn't go directly to us, I'm not naieve, but it's ALSO ridiculous to equate a state mandated sales tax that you can't avoid, and a HM registry, which doesn't need to be done, therefore, CAN be avoided.

AmoroAgain · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_honeymoon-registries-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:9fba8597-6dc2-4196-936e-f7fcdfa760d7Post:1c534439-d84f-428d-89ab-c5aa68897a6f">Re: honeymoon registries</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: honeymoon registries : I don't understand your analogy here.
Posted by tinydancer842[/QUOTE]

In the "old days" after a couple was married and after their wedding night, the sheets were displayed to prove that the marriage was consumated and that the bride was a virgin.

tinydancer842 · February 2010

Oh okay never heard of that & gross.

crfische · February 2010

I'm just going to say that I'm about 30 and ESTABLISHED (seriously, who uses that word?) and I know freaking better than to do something as outwardly tacky as a honeymoon registry.

You're also old enough to know better.

ivystar57 · February 2010

Get off your high horse, monkey face. You are not better than anyone here because you are established, own your house outright, and paid for your own damned wedding. You know, I'm not thinking that Amoro is the snob here.... congrats, you are snobby and tacky. WOOT.

and I have to laugh at the people who say that their boinking won't increase on the HM... And yes, we were together for many years.

wadingmoose · February 2010

[QUOTE]To each their own opinion. That, is what makes the USA so great right?[/QUOTE]

I'm pretty sure that opinions are allowed quite freely in many countries.

wadingmoose · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_honeymoon-registries-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:9fba8597-6dc2-4196-936e-f7fcdfa760d7Post:d4673f39-a853-4866-b635-a614f6c20b3d">Re: honeymoon registries</a>:
[QUOTE]Get off your high horse, monkey face. You are not better than anyone here because you are established, own your house outright, and paid for your own damned wedding. You know, I'm not thinking that Amoro is the snob here.... congrats, you are snobby and tacky. WOOT. and I have to laugh at the people who say that their boinking won't increase on the HM... And yes, we were together for many years.
Posted by ivystar57[/QUOTE]

Wait. The argument is based on owning a house, paying for your own wedding?

Hi there. That also describes me. And I didn't do a honeymoon registry.

Mrs.B6302007 · February 2010

pots & pans = needs
HM = want

ivystar57 · February 2010

Moose it was something about how she could offer an older and more established view on the situation. Because we are all so clearly juvinille :eyeroll:

wadingmoose · February 2010

Ah. My H is 40. I think he meets the criteria for old and mature

Hey, Monkeygirl, I recognize your picture. Were you on P&E before? With the same name? Just curious, your post count doesn't seem to add up to being someone I should remember from P&E

kristinanddan · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_honeymoon-registries-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:9fba8597-6dc2-4196-936e-f7fcdfa760d7Post:0e2bdd2c-11bd-4c9a-9118-4e75356263bf">Re: honeymoon registries</a>:
[QUOTE]I noticed that everyone who wants a HM registry always says, but FI and I have lived together for blah blah years and don't need anything. Really? My FI and I have lived together for 5 years and I can think of a lot of things we need or want. Or you can upgrade. We have a lot of stuff, but we're registering for new dishes, a better food processor, new sheets, things that you can upgrade. I mean I think it's so lame to say you have everything. if I asked my mom today if there was anythign she needed after living with my dad for 33 years I guarentee she'd give me a huge list of things that coul dbe upgraded. Do yourself a favor and can the HM registry and register for some household upgrades.
Posted by 26summer[/QUOTE]

Exactly! We came up with plenty of things we needed, and plenty of other things that we could upgrade. Seriously, sheets and towels don't last forever -register for some nice ones. Pick out a new shower courtain and accessories. Get all of the kitchen gadgets you could use - icing knife, garlic press, lemon zester, etc etc.

And goodness gracious monkeywhateveryournameis, get over yourself!

sturri · February 2010

O-K
This post started because someone wanted advice on which honeymoon registry to use. There are obviously some people who think they're tacky but then don't comment - this woman decided to use one and wanted advice about it, so why do you care so much? Monkeygirl has it right - if a registry is supposed to list some things the couple would like, why can't it be a snorkeling trip? Just because they don't want to upgrade their sheets why should you care? Why can't someone remember that Grandma gave them that snorkeling trip? I know there are some sentimental gifts that you remember who gave you, but do you remember everyone who gave you each towel or place setting you got? If you have all of the dishes and towlels and picture frames you need, why should you be forced to register for more when you know you really don't want them, to satisfy someone's snobby notion? Judging by the amount of posts bashing HM registries, Amoroagain obviously has nothing better to do. I say ignore her and others like her and do what you want.

tinydancer842 · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_honeymoon-registries-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:9fba8597-6dc2-4196-936e-f7fcdfa760d7Post:e0ea53a4-f7e4-4367-bab7-d912a62e15dc">Re: honeymoon registries</a>:
[QUOTE] God forbid you get something that someone put thought into instead of just dropping some cash in an unnamed bank account. It's SO impersonal.
Posted by AmoroAgain[/QUOTE]
I have to disagree that buying someone something off their registry is personal. You are simply picking a gift off a pre-made list in your price range.

veijes · February 2010

Wow, you guys definitely have not done much research on HM regisitries! First of all, there is a small percentage taken out but it's very minimal! To give you guys an example, my FSIL got married and went to Hawaii, she registered on www.thehoneymoon.com and received $2000 in honeymoon gifts. The amount taken out of that was a measily $110. I would rather pay $110 to a HM registry and get to do more elaborate things on my HM. ALSO...you don't HAVE to do the things on the registry, they send you two different checks, one is sent to you 5 days before the honeymoon, so it's not really like you can rely on it for your honeymoon except for spending money, then the second is sent out 30 days after your wedding for people who either bought you a gift last minute or after the wedding.

In all, I think it's a great idea to do a HM registry, only immature people are going to think of a HM as a "sex fest" I mean obvioulsy you are going to have sex on your honeymoon but if you are having someone pay for you to go scuba diving, I'm pretty sure you aren't going to be having sex while scuba diving but rather making a life long memory with your new husband! My FSIL did a honeymoon registry and everyone thought it was a wonderful idea and her family and friends are pretty "old fashioned" and "upper class." I'm sure back in the day, any registry seemed tackey but it's the 21st century, times are changing!

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