No card/gift from close family and friends??

Cole&Kailee · October 2012

My husband and I just got married a month ago! We had an amazing day filled with the people we loved most. It was mostly perfect. Great food, free drinks and a killer DJ! After a few mishaps with the guest list—15 people were no shows (who were invited) and 10 extra people brought guests, even though I specifically mentioned it was a head count. I could let that go at least and have a great time. Getting back to reality after the honeymoon, we sat down and worked on our thank yous. Most people got us something from our registry or mailed checks--heck, even great Aunt Francis from Texas--who I never met mailed one. We were so grateful. But we noticed one thing, about 20 people out of our 160 person guest list didn't give us a gift or even a card! These people were my best friend from college, a bridesmaid, several family friends AND 3 couples that DH and I see on a weekly basis. We actually just went to these couple's weddings/parties this summer and gave a good chuck of change to them for their big day. I just don’t get it. They got married and understand the etiquette. Do I mention it to them? Do I hint at it? Or do I just let it go?

I don't mean to sound gift-grabby or petty. I know gifts are not expected and I should be happy that they came (although some of our CLOSEST family friends RSVPed and didn't even bother showing up or apologizing for not coming). I just feel out of common courtesy, you should AT LEAST give a card to the couple. They are 2/$1 at the dollar store. That would mean much more to me to have a heartfelt message than nothing at all. It just hurts to say the least that we chose them to be a part of our big day and they got a free meal, free drinks and then just left without even a “Hey, thanks for inviting us, we had a great time. Congrats you two!”. Anyone else had this problem? It’s a tough one to approach.

Avion22 · October 2012

My only sister and MOH didn't get us a gift until about 2 months after the wedding. I think she wanted to wait to see if there was anything left on our registry that we REALLY wanted, so she could fulfil any items we hadn't received yet. Plus she was just busy.

People have up to a year to get you wedding gifts, so they still might trickle in for the next few months.

Of course, as you know, people don't HAVE to get your gifts. I, personally, would never attend a wedding without at least a card and a small gift, but times are really hard right now, and chances are that some of these people had to choose between attending and getting you a gift, and chose to attend. Maybe you'll get gifts from some later, and maybe you won't.

I would try not to let it bother you too much.

Avion22 · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_no-cardgift-from-close-family-and-friends?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2a739264-7ea6-4d74-a638-4d09dfd1ee5aPost:408a61e5-cefa-41d2-8f7d-a4e764b6ba86">Re: No card/gift from close family and friends??</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to No card/gift from close family and friends?? : I just have a feeling...
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

<div>Beat me to it! :-)</div>

catloverd · October 2012

I get your hurt and I would be too, but it's not their obligation to give you anything. They showed up and that's all they really have to do. I would just let it go.

They might be sending you a gift later. Not sure if they really have a year, that seems rather long, and I remember reading somewhere that it's more common now for the limit to be 3 months after. I can't remember the source, but don't mention or bring it up. It just makes you look petty and greedy.

Girlie1030 · October 2012

No, you don't say anything, you don't hint at anything. Yes, you let it go.

Your reception (free meal, drinks, etc.) was a thank you to your guests for taking time out of their lives to witness your marriage - they are under no obligation to "cover their plate" so to speak.

And yes, I had family and friends not give a gift or card.

Peledreamsofrain · October 2012

Mentioning anything about gifts is ungracious and uncomfortable unless it's "thank you so much for x gift you gave to us".

As the others have said, it's possible that they plan to send a gift afterwards when they can afford it. I have done this personally with my cousin. Approxomately one month after her wedding, I could afford to send her a card and a check, which she was extremely grateful for, because she was dealing with after-wedding finances at that time.

And even if no gift ever arrives, that's fine. Your wedding wasn't a show that people purchased 'entrance' to with gifts and money. It was a gathering of loved ones. That's what matters the most.

itzMS · October 2012

I can empathize with you...we got "stiffed" by a few guests as well. I think a good majority of couples do. It's one of those things that you just have to let roll off your shoulders and move on. Giving a gift and/or card is super generous and polite, but not a requirement.

StephJean83 · October 2012

Still send them a Thank You card for attending your wedding and if after you mail it out, you get a gift or card from them send them another Thank You for the gift or card. They very well could have had a card to give you but forgot it in their car or hotel room and will be mailing it out.

I was cleaning my FH's car one day and found wedding cards in there because he forgot to grab them going into the reception and in the shuffle of driving people back to the hotel or driving home, they got shuttled around and misplaced in his car. One of the cards was for a wedding that he attended 1 1/2 yr prior and he didn't realize he hadn't given them the card. He wrote the couple a letter and explained how he forgot that he left the card in his car and when he got home he forgot about it(he drove 6+ hours to attend that wedding) and how he had a blast at their wedding. The couple had sent him a Thank You card for attending the wedding and the groom called him and gave him a hard time but they sent him another Thank You and tease him about it to this day.

Cole&Kailee · October 2012

Thanks for the advice. It will be a tad awkward when we have future get togethers, but I will just let it go. Our friendships are great and I'm still a bit hurt, but hopefully I'll just forget about it over time. No friendship is worth losing over a gift.

Avion22 · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_no-cardgift-from-close-family-and-friends?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2a739264-7ea6-4d74-a638-4d09dfd1ee5aPost:e61ee4f7-7be6-47c3-bab1-a712e4c138c4">Re: No card/gift from close family and friends??</a>:
[QUOTE]Thanks for the advice. It will be a tad awkward when we have future get togethers, but I will just let it go. Friendship isn't worth thel ack of gifts and money.
Posted by Cole&Kailee[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>You're right, gifts and money shouldn't end friendships. And future get-togethers will only be awkward if you make them awkward.

</div>

Girlie1030 · October 2012

I thought you looked familiar - you've had a history here of being overly concerned how others spend their money. It won't be awkward if you just let it go you know.

Cortney1982 · October 2012

Neither of my 3 siblings even gave me a card but I was just glad they all could make it. Just because they didn't give you anything doesn't mean they don't care. Maybe they couldn't afford anything and felt a card with no money in it was pointless or embarrassing for them.

freebread03 · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_no-cardgift-from-close-family-and-friends?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2a739264-7ea6-4d74-a638-4d09dfd1ee5aPost:892dab8a-31e1-4e90-9ac9-4f73bf7c90e0">Re: No card/gift from close family and friends??</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>Still send them a Thank You card for attending your wedding </strong>and if after you mail it out, you get a gift or card from them send them another Thank You for the gift or card. They very well could have had a card to give you but forgot it in their car or hotel room and will be mailing it out. I was cleaning my FH's car one day and found wedding cards in there because he forgot to grab them going into the reception and in the shuffle of driving people back to the hotel or driving home, they got shuttled around and misplaced in his car. One of the cards was for a wedding that he attended 1 1/2 yr prior and he didn't realize he hadn't given them the card. He wrote the couple a letter and explained how he forgot that he left the card in his car and when he got home he forgot about it(he drove 6+ hours to attend that wedding) and how he had a blast at their wedding. The couple had sent him a Thank You card for attending the wedding and the groom called him and gave him a hard time but they sent him another Thank You and tease him about it to this day.
Posted by StephJean83[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>The reception IS the thank-you for attending the wedding. Sending out thank you card for attending comes off as gift grabby, and there's really no point in doing it.</div>

Cole&Kailee · October 2012

I sent thank you cards to the people who traveled from out of town, but not to the people from town who came empty-handed. Is that bad? I still have time to send them, but I agree with freebread03, the reception/drinks/food/dancing WAS the thank you for coming, so I guess I wouldn't know what else to say on the thank you besides--thanks again for coming and helping us celebrate our big day?

QueerFemme · October 2012

Out of our 125 guests, we got about 25 cards, maybe 10 of them had money in them, and 5 physical gifts. So, to use a PP language, we got "stiffed", but about 90 people. 3 of the people who stiffed us were in the wedding party.

Did I find that odd? Yes. I was surprised that we didn't get more cards. Personally, I can't imagine showing up to a wedding empty handed, without at card. But, overall, it just wasn't a big deal. I sat with it, thought it was odd, and moved on. I would NEVER dream of mentioning to someone "so, you didn't even get us a card?" WTF!?

Peledreamsofrain · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_no-cardgift-from-close-family-and-friends?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2a739264-7ea6-4d74-a638-4d09dfd1ee5aPost:78ba8666-7cdd-49e4-b480-9ef56d587ba9">Re: No card/gift from close family and friends??</a>:
[QUOTE]I sent thank you cards to the people who traveled from out of town, but not to the people from town who came empty-handed. Is that bad? I still have time to send them, but I agree with freebread03, the reception/drinks/food/dancing WAS the thank you for coming, so I guess I wouldn't know what else to say on the thank you besides--thanks again for coming and helping us celebrate our big day?
Posted by Cole&Kailee[/QUOTE]

You are exactly right, it's unecessarily repetative. Also, it comes across as 'nudge nudge, where's mah gift?'. Or even worse "Here's your passive aggressive 'thanks for nothing' thank you card. Enjoy."

Brr, don't do it.

StephJean83 · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_no-cardgift-from-close-family-and-friends?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:2a739264-7ea6-4d74-a638-4d09dfd1ee5aPost:34188afe-9b85-4304-a7d2-c56a0bab4076">Re: No card/gift from close family and friends??</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: No card/gift from close family and friends?? : The reception IS the thank-you for attending the wedding. <strong>Sending out thank you card for attending comes off as gift grabby, and there's really no point in doing it.
</strong>Posted by freebread03[/QUOTE]

How does sending a card that sounds like this sound gift grabby?,
"Tom,
Thank you for sharing in our wedding with us! It was a blast that you flew from Washington to join us and hope you had a great time. Thanks for seranding Sally with the rest of the Fiji's, she really felt accepted into the group! We really need to get together soon, maybe we could come visit and you can show us all the awesome spots by you! Hope you can make it to Pig Dinner in the Spring!
Charlie and Sally Jones"

I know that the reception is thank you but not everyone gets around to every guest(even with the best of intentions) and this is just another way to say thanks and let them know you do appreciate them coming. By the way, the wording is similar(names/locations changed) to Thank You cards my FH received when he mailed their card/gift after the wedding but before the couple had received the card/gift.

SB1512 · October 2012

PP have covered the OP's question pretty well, so nothing to add on that. However, have you checked your registries lately to see if anything has been bought that you have not received? Although probably not a frequent occurance, it's possible that a gift that was bought and supposed to be shipped to you got lost along the way. Perfect example: I ordered a book for one of my classes this semester in July and it just arrived last week. The book was not on backorder or anything and I received an email stating it had been shipped a few days after I ordered it. For whatever reason it took a really long time to get to me, probably because it got lost or shipped to the wrong place.

allychase · October 2012

I agree with "not much you can do about it now" and definitely don't bring it up, but it's a little annoying how our ENTIRE wedding is supposed to be geared towards entertaining our guests and making them have fun and as comfortable as possible, and the idea that someone can't honestly stop at a drug store and AT LEAST pick up a 99 cent card and write a nice note is just appaling to me.

I'm getting married in April and don't know if this will happen to me but I would be pissed too if it did. If I'm spending the thousands of dollars for my guests to drink and eat their faces off while dancing the night away the least they could do is give a card. I'm not even talking about a gift or money, but not even a card?? Come on. I would definitely not feel the same about the person who came and drank, ate and acted merry at my wedding but didn't feel it necessary to write me a congratulatory note for getting married, the whole reason they're there in the first place.

KellyBrian2013 · October 2012

I fail to understand how picking up a 99 cent piece of paper suddenly makes things okay. I somehow feel that those saying "just a card" would be sufficient are the same people who would scoff at it not holding a check, cash, or gift card. FTR, I couldn't even tell you what guests didn't give us anything, despite having kept a list for the purpose of TY notes. It's not your guests' fault you chose to "spend thousands of dollars on food and drinks". Have a JOP with cake and punch if you're going to be upset over people not covering their plates with their gift... much cheaper and your marriage is just as valid.

allychase · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_no-cardgift-from-close-family-and-friends?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2a739264-7ea6-4d74-a638-4d09dfd1ee5aPost:64c7d5b5-9abd-4738-aa1e-cad0846c2edb">Re:No card/gift from close family and friends??</a>:
[QUOTE]I fail to understand how picking up a 99 cent piece of paper suddenly makes things okay. I somehow feel that those saying "just a card" would be sufficient are the same people who would scoff at it not holding a check, cash, or gift card. FTR, I couldn't even tell you what guests didn't give us anything, despite having kept a list for the purpose of TY notes. It's not your guests' fault you chose to "spend thousands of dollars on food and drinks". <strong>Have a JOP with cake and punch if you're going to be upset over people not covering their plates with their gift</strong>... much cheaper and your marriage is just as valid.
Posted by KellyBrian2013[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>If we want to come on an etiquette board and tell people how to properly host guests at a party, perhaps we should understand that as a guest you should THANK the hosts for inviting you to witness their marriage and celebrate with them afterwards. Scrap the part about how much money is spent, which, BTW, I am not blaming anybody for how much money is spent on my wedding, and never said that- it's still rude to come to someone's wedding, have a great time and not even acknowledge why you're there. If you want to go to a wedding empty handed that's on you, I was raised that you congratulate people on their wedding day and other big events, and writing a meaningful note is always appreciated.
</div><div>
</div><div>I personally love receiving meaningful notes in cards instead of the typical "congrats!" and their name signed. So assume all you want, but you don't know what I would "scoff" at. </div><div>
</div><div>As for the bolded part, I JUST said I'm okay with receiving a card with nothing inside, in fact I know of a few people in my family that are very bad off right now and I'm not going to NOT invite them just because they can't "cover their plate" so take your lecture about JOP to someone else. </div>

KellyBrian2013 · October 2012

In Response to Re:No card/gift from close family and friends??:[QUOTE]If we want to come on an etiquette board and tell people how to properly host guests at a party, perhaps we should understand that as a guest you should THANK the hosts for inviting you to witness their marriage and celebrate with them afterwards. Scrap the part about how much money is spent, which, BTW, I am not blaming anybody for how much money is spent on my wedding, and never said that it's still rude to come to someone's wedding, have a great time and not even acknowledge why you're there. If you want to go to a wedding empty handed that's on you, I was raised that you congratulate people on their wedding day and other big events, and writing a meaningful note is always appreciated.nbsp;I personally love receiving meaningful notes in cards instead of the typical "congrats!" and their name signed. So assume all you want, but you don't know what I would "scoff" at.nbsp;As for the bolded part, I JUST said I'm okay with receiving a card with nothing inside, in fact I know of a few people in my family that are very bad off right now and I'm not going to NOT invite them just because they can't "cover their plate" so take your lecture about JOP to someone else.nbsp; Posted by allychase[/QUOTE]

And you are clearly missing the point that the reception is FOR THE GUESTS. So really, the hosts shouldn't act all high and mighty in requiring a "thank you for inclusion" from their guests. Quite the contrary: the host should recognize the reception as the thank you to the guests for taking the time out of their schedule to attend an unnecessary party... because, in reality, all you <strong>need </strong>for a wedding is the bride, groom, officiant, and perhaps a witness or two.

The guests' presence IS their acknowledgement of "the reason they are there". I mean, really? Every single guest we had congratulated us and acknowledge that they were at a wedding because, you know, we'd just gotten married... we didn't need a card for them to do that. So again, I fail to see how a 99 cent card makes all the difference in whether a guests is gracious or not.

And, FTR, I have shown up to a wedding empty-handed because I spent well over $1,000 between attire, travel, and lodging to be there (I was MOH) and I couldn't afford to give a gift. I didn't feel a card was enough for my very best friend, so I waited until I had the funds to send her what I felt was an appropriate gift...

Oh, and just because you <em>say</em> "I'm okay with receiving a card with nothing inside" doesn't make it so. Your sense of entitlement in previous posts certainly indicates otherwise...

<em>Edited because I misread the post initially.</em>

allychase · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_no-cardgift-from-close-family-and-friends?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2a739264-7ea6-4d74-a638-4d09dfd1ee5aPost:897345fe-af25-42ba-820f-02b4da4ae72a">Re:No card/gift from close family and friends??</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:No card/gift from close family and friends??: And you are clearly missing the point that the reception is FOR THE GUESTS. Their presence IS their acknowledgement of "the reason they are there". I mean, really? Every single guest we had congratulated us and acknowledge that they were at a wedding because, you know, we'd just gotten married... we didn't need a card for them to do that. Not to mention that cake and punch following a ceremony IS properly hosting guests, so long as it isn't during a meal time. Perhaps you should lurk on E a bit more before criticizing others.
Posted by KellyBrian2013[/QUOTE]

<div>Really this is blown up way more than it needs to be. There's no reason someone can't bring a card to your wedding. That's all I'm saying. </div><div>
</div><div>Also, I am on E all the time. I know what etiquette states. I don't know where your statement about cake and punch is coming from because I'm not sure when I asked you what I should serve my guests, who we are giving open bar, hors dourves, entrees and a dessert buffet, btw.. so pretty sure I've got that covered. </div><div>
</div><div>The reason I am very against the idea of not giving a card is because I understand that I will not have time to speak to all 150 of my guests at my wedding, and when looking through the cards it's nice to hear from every single person who was there. It means a lot to me. It's my opinion. I'm allowed to have it. </div>

Sharpschruter22 · October 2012

In Response to Re:No card/gift from close family and friends??:[QUOTE]In Response to Re:No card/gift from close family and friends??:In Response to Re:No card/gift from close family and friends??: And you are clearly missing the point that the reception is FOR THE GUESTS. Their presence IS their acknowledgement of "the reason they are there". I mean, really? Every single guest we had congratulated us and acknowledge that they were at a wedding because, you know, we'd just gotten married... we didn't need a card for them to do that. Not to mention that cake and punch following a ceremony IS properly hosting guests, so long as it isn't during a meal time. Perhaps you should lurk on E a bit more before criticizing others.Posted by KellyBrian2013Really this is blown up way more than it needs to be. There's no reason someone can't bring a card to your wedding. That's all I'm saying.nbsp;Also, I am on E all the time. I know what etiquette states. I don't know where your statement about cake and punch is coming from because I'm not sure when I asked you what I should serve my guests, who we are giving open bar, hors dourves, entrees and a dessert buffet, btw.. so pretty sure I've got that covered.nbsp;The reason I am very against the idea of not giving a card is because I understand that I will not have time to speak to all 150 of my guests at my wedding, and when looking through the cards it's nice to hear from every single person who was there. It means a lot to me. It's my opinion. I'm allowed to have it.nbsp; Posted by allychase[/QUOTE]

Oy vey. Here we go again. Why exactly are you not going to have time to personally greet and thank your 150 guests for coming? You state you are well versed in etiquette, surely you realize what a gaffe this would be?

If you can't do more personalized table visits, why can't you have a receiving line? 30 min for 150 people, tops. If I misunderstood your post, I apologize, but if I hit the nail on the head, I certainly hope you reconsider your timeline plan.

KellyBrian2013 · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_no-cardgift-from-close-family-and-friends?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:2a739264-7ea6-4d74-a638-4d09dfd1ee5aPost:8ca2926a-0502-4a88-b876-44bae418331c">Re:No card/gift from close family and friends??</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:No card/gift from close family and friends?? : Really this is blown up way more than it needs to be. There's no reason someone can't bring a card to your wedding. That's all I'm saying. Also, I am on E all the time. I know what etiquette states. I don't know where your statement about cake and punch is coming from because I'm not sure when I asked you what I should serve my guests, who we are giving open bar, hors dourves, entrees and a dessert buffet, btw.. so pretty sure I've got that covered. <strong>The reason I am very against the idea of not giving a card is because I understand that I will not have time to speak to all 150 of my guests at my wedding</strong>, and when looking through the cards it's nice to hear from every single person who was there. It means a lot to me. It's my opinion. I'm allowed to have it.
Posted by allychase[/QUOTE]

I edited my post because I had misread your post while on my phone.

Bolded: Umm, what? We had 200 people at our wedding and greeted every.single.one - albeit briefly - and still had plenty of time to eat, drink, dance, and otherwise have a good time.

For someone who knows <em>so</em> much about E, I'm surprised by that statement and I'm hoping you just misspoke.

crash2729 · October 2012

Ally-You might want to black out your website address in your sig,

Internet safety, yo.

phfiely · October 2012

I agree with an above poster's sentiment about loving cards with heartfelt messages. I keep all of my cards from friends and family and still have some from high school. Maybe it's just my family and FH, but cards are always sent with little messages or letters in them. Anyway, where I was going with this is that I can see how people feel snubbed by a close friend or family member not writing a note/letter in a card. I guess the impression I would get is indifferencea feeling that the person can't be bothered to write a few sentences. I'm curious to see how this plays out at our weddingbefore I read these boards I'd never heard of going to wedding without a card and/or gift depending on finances.

Cole&Kailee · October 2012

Also to tie into this thread...

Hubby and I received some physical gifts (toaster and crockpot) with no card attached. I'm sure the card was thrown into the card pile, but now I have no way to thank whoever gave us those items since over 20 people didn't give us a gift--it'd be impossible to narrow down who it was. Help?!

Cole&Kailee · October 2012

II guess I could see who gave us cards with nothing inside and figure it out that way, but what IF they gave a card only with no gift. I don't want to call them and ask obvioulsy. ugh! I'm stuck. I want to thank whoever got us those things!! :(

( Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_no-cardgift-from-close-family-and-friends?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:2a739264-7ea6-4d74-a638-4d09dfd1ee5aPost:ac56267d-6aa5-43e8-add5-112e8e22c7c5">Re: No card/gift from close family and friends??</a>:
[QUOTE]Also to tie into this thread... Hubby and I received some physical gifts (toaster and crockpot) with no card attached. I'm sure the card was thrown into the card pile, but now I have no way to thank whoever gave us those items since over 20 people didn't give us a gift--it'd be impossible to narrow down who it was. Help?!
Posted by Cole&Kailee[/QUOTE]

ninamyspace · October 2012

The same thing happened to us, actually.

A lot of his family didn't really gift us anything, not really sure why, most of them were well off. But I just let it go. You don't say anything, there is nothing you can do about it. At the end of the day, they aren't obligated.

That being said, I never show up empty handed, whether it's to a wedding or a party, I would just feel very strange.

spartybride3 · October 2012

We had a few people (about 5??) out of 130 attending guests not give us a gift or card either, including my husband's aunt who did our flowers (which we paid a hefty amount for) and two of his best friends. We also had a couple show up with their 3 kids & they never RSVP'ed or gave a gift or card. It sucks & we were disappointed, but you can't really do anything about it. We still got gifts/cards for about 4-6 weeks after the wedding, but our wedding was also 3 months ago, so gifts have ceased. Now that all the thank you's are out, my husband's aunt told us she has something for us, but we are not counting on it.

We were also fortunate enough to receive a lot of gifts or money from non-guests, so it kind of made us feel better about the others. My mother in law said if people don't get thank you's & they did give a gift, they'll ask if you received the gift. However, I gave a gift at a wedding & never received a thank you & I didn't inquire because I somehow felt rude for pointing out their lack of etiquette.

No card/gift from close family and friends??

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