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March 2012 Weddings

Anyone else go back and forth about waiting to long to get hitched?

I have anxiety sometimes about waiting so long. It seems like everyone thinks I'm silly for planning so far in advance..and since my fiance and I already have a baby,what i'm waiting for/...St Patrick's Day is so important to me because it was my Grandparents Anniversary!.... I'm sticking to my guns..but just wondering if anyone else ever second guesses themselveS?

Re: Anyone else go back and forth about waiting to long to get hitched?

  • I second guess having a wedding at all. I sometimes think that I'd be okay with just eloping at the courthouse...I just want to be married, so tired of waiting.

    Then I remember, I know I would look back and hate that that's how I got married (no offense to anyone who is, just isn't for me). Then I remind myself that I want to be married but in the way I envisioned and that means having patience - because I know in the end, after all this waiting...I'll have my dream wedding.

    FI and I were supposed to be getting married this coming March, but the money wasn't adding up and we were cutting things that we really wanted - sand ceremony, the resort, the actual destination. I finally decided that I wanted those things and if we didn't have the money then, that we'd push it back a year (the date is really important to us too) and we'd have more money then.

    I think people forget too that sometimes parents aren't helping with wedding costs. I know my dad might help put in some money - it would be towards the AHR, not the actual wedding tho. My mom on the other hand...I'm not even sure she'll show up to the wedding, much less put in money (long story, but basically she doesn't ever want to go to Jamaica and will miss my wedding because of it).

    I also feel like I'll have a much better wedding waiting than I would not waiting.

    Keep your head up and don't give in. It's your special day and, call it being a bridezilla or whatever, but you should have it when and how you want it to be - within reason of course.
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  • Thanks so much for your encouragement!!!
  • your welcome. I know it gets hard from time to time, but you just have to remember that time will move so much more quickly than you think it will and you'll still have tons of things to do with hardly any time.

    Good luck with your planning!!
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    **Whenever I'm alone with you, you make me feel like I am home again; Whenever I'm alone with you; You make me feel like I am whole again**
  • ive actually just booked my hall today & was so excited to tell everyone & everyone's answer was not "oh great'" it was "umm why so long?" i dont feel 1yr & a half is too long, its enough time to save & have everything perfect !!!  :)
  • I'm sure things will turnout great :o) Can't wait to see your pics!!!! It'll be here in no time!
  • To be honest as the bills are adding up I'm second guessing not waiting longer LOL
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  • I HATE how people react when I tell them my wedding date. They're like oh 2012, really? Why not sooner? I think a year and a half is a completely normal amount of time to plan. Plus I wanted it to be in early spring & Spring 2011 would be WAY too soon to get everything done well.

    Besides the time will fly by!
  • I too chose to wait this long because my fiance will be graduating from his doctorates program May 2011 and that gives us both enough time to plan and save without the added stress and without cutting out things that I really want.  So I don't think its crazy at all.  He proposed to me but wont be able to buy me a ring until he gets out of school.  That doesn't matter to me.  What matters is that he has made the commitment to me that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me and I feel like it doesn't really matter what other people may think because whether we get married in 2011 or 2012 we will still be together and we are still committed to one another.  Do what makes you happy.  Forget about what other people think because its your day and by planning for it in advance it will be as perfect and as stress free as you want it to be.  Planning a wedding should be fun and give you memories that you can remember for the rest of your life.  Take your time and enjoy it.
  • Hey Ladies I'm with you on all of this. I am also getting married in 2012, March to be exact.  And I'm getting the same thing from people why so long. I'm like geez it's long for who? you not me. My FI and I have only been together for a year and a half so it won't hurt us to wait a little over a year to be as one. I mean this year is almost over with and next thing we know the months in 2011 will be rolling right pass each and everyone of us planning a wedding. Also we are putting the majority of the money up for our wedding, we really don't want our parents to have to pay for our wedding, it's fine if they assist with it with some of the fees but not the whole thing. The only thing I hate is the fact that I reside in Houston, Texas and at the beginning places weren't booking into 2012 yet now that we have a date and months have passed. Venues are starting to book up fast for 2012. All I can do is hope that the venue that I really want is taken for the date of my choice. otherwise it's going to have to be are back up date, which is April 1. And I'm totally freaked out about that date, since it's April Fool's day. Hopefully no one will play any crazy jokes.
  • I definitely agree with just about everything - the comments about "waiting too long" are just as annoying as the "why aren't you engaged yet?" questions! Why is it so disconcerting to people (usually not-so-close people rather than family/good friends) when I got engaged or when we decided to plan our wedding for? That is really what makes me laugh. Why do you care what month we chose? It is our anniversary, not yours!

    Personally, when I feel that I'm waiting too long I look back and realize it's mostly other people's questions making me think this, not me actually wanting to change it! It helps to keep that in mind. What works for you is what works for you, no matter if people think it's "too long."

    A funny my mom said: Maybe they just really want wedding cake! Helps me to think of it in a light-hearted way. :)

    Good luck and stick to your guns - it is YOUR wedding! :) Enjoy it when, where, and how you want!
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  • For me, a year and a half is the perfect length.  I feel like I have enough time to plan everything I need to plan without feeling rushed.  My sister had a 2 year engagement and I felt like that was too long.  My FI purposed on Labor Day of this year and I always wanted to get married in the winter so March 3rd or March 10th of 2012 is perfect for us.  (For the honeymoon we are looking to hit up the alps and they are perfect in March-hopefully)
    "Do I look like a killer to you?" "Yes, you kill my patience." -Castle
  • Heather I feel the same way.  Sometimes I wish I could snap my fingers and poof be at the Venetian in Vegas or on a beach on some fabulous island.  But alas..Vegas or a bare foot wedding don't work for my family.
    "Do I look like a killer to you?" "Yes, you kill my patience." -Castle
  • edited October 2010
    I am constantly wishing I could just get it done now and be married. I've even tossed the idea of a courthouse wedding around with a big reception and "vow renewal" later. But I wanna get married once and only once in my lifetime....and I want it to be everything I've ever dreamed of.

    We originally planned on July 3rd, 2011. Adam works at a factory, and it takes him a really long time to build up vacation time. But the plant closes for the week of the 4th of July...so we thought if we got married on Sunday the 3rd, we could have that week be the honeymoon since he'd already have the time off! But the more we got into the planning, the more it just wasn't falling together.

    To start, we're doing this all on our own. Adam's parents don't support the wedding at all (his dad and I have never gotten along, which basically breaks my heart) so we're not getting any help from them. As for my family, well, my dad passed away in April. My mom and sister are living with Adam and I (in our tiny one bedroom house...ugh!!!) until they can get back on their feet. Plus, we were having budget troubles in that amount of time since we currently have 2 extra people to provide for and support.

    We were gonna try for a later time next year, but, again, nothing was adding up. Pushing it back a month into August wasn't going to make any significant difference at all in money. September was a no-go because my cousin is getting married that month in Texas so that means her family along with my aunt and uncle wouldn't be able to make it, which is not an option for me, haha...I want them there!! October would only work if we did it late in the month because Kerri (my cousin) is getting married in late September...so it'd be too close and too expensive for her family to travel to Texas and then up to Iowa if I did mine right after hers. But late October wasn't gonna work because our friends Nycole & Damian (who are in our wedding party) got married in late October...we don't want to do the same thing as them. And planning around the holidays in November and December just wasn't an option...I have family that has to travel from California, Arizona, all over the place. Getting all that figured out along with their own holiday travels was just a mess waiting to happen.

    When I look back at it, I'm sooo glad I've put it off as long as I have. You will find as you go through the next year that the date you picked really was for the best...for YOU. It doesn't matter if it's for the best for others...as long as it works out for you and your FI in the end. As much as I hate the waiting game and am not looking forward to the long, dragged out year of planning, I try to keep on the positive side. Remember that all this work your going through is for YOUR and your FI's day. Make the best out of the planning and enjoy every moment of it...because as taxing as it can be sometimes, those are the memories you're gonna look back on and remember for the rest of your lives together :o)
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_march-2012-weddings_anyone-else-back-forth-waiting-long-hitched?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:955e4823-0be1-44ef-9ee7-99a63794e103Discussion:40c17393-507c-47d2-9b7a-5b5eb53be8b0Post:0682d951-f77d-4f46-b9ad-f0d581d9f213">Re: Anyone else go back and forth about waiting to long to get hitched?</a>:
    [QUOTE]The money is the first issue, so waiting for so long we can actually afford everything... i hope. Ettiquette says that if you live together, then it's up to you to pay for the wedding. I just moved in when we got engaged, so Im not sure where I fit exactly. I am the oldest daughter of 4 and the first to get married.My parents are divorced and both remarried. Oh- And I have a HUGE family. Trying to keep things simple is driving me crazy!
    Posted by luckycharms360[/QUOTE]

    Luckycharms - I feel you so much about BOTH! Knottie soul mates? Haha jk.

    The money thing - we are both in college (for about 7 more months - which is why we're waiting until 2012) but we moved in together because why should we both pay rent when we can just pay one? We were going to be together all the time anyway. Anyway, enough about WHY. How I'm handling this is: If they offer to pay (aka my side OR his) then we will graciously accept. But what I got from Etiquette board is that you never ask. My family has implied that they want to pay, but since 2012 is so far away, we haven't even really discussed it yet. I guess we will both just have to see what happens.

    And yes. Both parents are divorced and remarried, making my sib-count 6. Literally, we have 50+ just immediate family-ish. SIMPLE feels really hard. BUT I want to share my "revelation" with you: Simple doesn't have to do with numbers of people, but rather how the day goes and how it is decorated, etc.

    Oh that felt good - sorry ladies, had to put in my other $.02
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