Is my mother breaching etiquette?

Ballet513 · April 2012

Hi I need some advice, my mother has graciously offered to address all my invites in her beautiful handwriting. My handwriting is awful so I really appreciate this. Yesterday my mom mentioned that she was planning to invite her friend over for a glass of wine to help her address the invites. The issue is this friend is NOT invited to my wedding. I sort of feel its wrong to ask her to help with something wedding related when she is not invited. HOWEVER- when this womans daughter got married ab two years ago my mom helped out a lot, she tied bows around all her programs and helped make her hotel welcome bags. My mother was not invited to the daughters wedding and she didn't expect to be. She knows how space and money are an issue in weddings around here and was just happy to help out her friend. This is obviously why my mom thinks its fine to ask this woman to help. What do you think?

adamar15 · April 2012

I think it's fine. If your mother is comfortable with it, then I'd just let it go. I'm sure your mom knows whether she would be offending her friend or not.

kcscejal · April 2012

I think it's fine. Friends help out friends. It's obviously the type of relationship they have.

mari0225 · April 2012

Yeah I think it's fine, friends help friends and all that. It's good they have that type of relationship.

Maggie0829 · April 2012

I think it would be fine if this woman came over to keep your Mom company while she was addressing envelopes but I don't think your Mom should outright ask for her help. If while she is there she offers to address a few, I think that is fine, but your Mom shouldn't ask.

But, if they have a friendship where they help each other out no matter what it is for because they like to do those things and just like to be helpful by nature then I don't see what it can hurt.

In the end it comes down to the relationship your Mom and this woman have as to whether or not it would be appropriate.

pokepoke27 · April 2012

I don't see a problem as long as the friend doesn't mind. It seems like the kind of relationsihp they have.

My mom addressed my invitations too - but I helped her out with it. It was nice to have mother/daughter wedding bonding type time.

Ballet513 · April 2012

Thanks everybody! They are co workers who have bonded over craft related projects and their friendship has grown from there. Honestly this type of thing is right up this womans alley so its probably fine. I know my mom has discussed my wedding with her anyway because my mom is a first time mother of the bride and this woman just went through it.

LP11509 · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_is-my-mother-breaching-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:627d08b6-5c74-498f-a450-7db72bbf938fPost:7620f5bc-8f75-4229-b362-f3f524e99d20">Re: Is my mother breaching etiquette?</a>:
[QUOTE]I <strong>think it would be fine if this woman came over to keep your Mom company while she was addressing envelopes but I don't think your Mom should outright ask for her help. If while she is there she offers to address a few, I think that is fine, but your Mom shouldn't ask.</strong> But, if they have a friendship where they help each other out no matter what it is for because they like to do those things and just like to be helpful by nature then I don't see what it can hurt. In the end it comes down to the relationship your Mom and this woman have as to whether or not it would be appropriate.
Posted by Maggie0829[/QUOTE]

<div>I think this is more awkward than being asked to help. If someone invited me over to their house to hang out, then they started doing a task like addressing envelopes with no indication that they would like help, I'd feel like I was in the way and would feel really weird sitting there.</div>

Kristin789 · May 2012

Your mom's call.

Is my mother breaching etiquette?

Re: Is my mother breaching etiquette?

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