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Eloping and Registering

bakes218bakes218
100 Comments
in Not Engaged Yet
It's been a little slow so how about this...if you are eloping, can you still register for gifts? BF and I have always wanted to elope and with Jeter eloping I thought I would get some opinions. I have heard of people registering and eloping or eloping without registering.

What does everyone think?
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Re: Eloping and Registering

  • paintgirlpaintgirl member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    I think it depends. If the couple eloped but then had a reception at home later, I guess that would be ok. Or if the couple did a housewarming party (which I'm kind of against in general "I bought a house so come buy me stuff - I mean - let me show you my house!") they could register. But if the gift buyers (i.e. "guests") aren't really "guests" of anything, then I'd say no.
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  • Ana_2985Ana_2985 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Personally, I wouldn't register for gifts if I was eloping.  I wouldn't expect people to give me gifts to celebrate something they weren't invited to.  I'm sure some family members or really close friends would choose to give gifts anyway but a registry seems really presumptuous in that situation.
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    We plan on having a "get together" later on with our friends and family back in Missouri, but no, we aren't going to register.  I just feel that's kind of a rude thing to do since we're eloping and we're not planning a big reception.  But, to each their own - maybe in some cases it's okay...
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  • noelle24noelle24
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    No, you shouldn't register. It looks extremely gift-grabby to ask for gifts from people who aren't invited to your wedding.
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  • katanne9katanne9 member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I think if you decide to elope, you're choosing to give up a lot of formalities (the good and the bad) .... registering being one of them.
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    When the time gets closer, we're going to have to do a fake registry for me... so I can at least have fun doing that. LOL
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  • jeanacorinajeanacorina
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I don't think you should register if you elope. Even with an at-home reception.... I just don't think it sounds right.
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  • paintgirlpaintgirl member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    I kind of hate the whole registering idea anyway. I'm trying to avoid registeries and showers. I'm not a fan of either. The only "shower" I would go for is lunch at a restaurant with no gifts, no games. Cake is ok though! :)   (Most of our family showers are at restaurants so that part is typical. And I know you're a guest at your own shower so you can't dictate much. So I'll have to play this one carefully.)

    (Different strokes for different folks on registeries - we aren't setting up our first home. We just combined at least two homes!)
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  • Ana_2985Ana_2985 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_eloping-registering?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:a8700ed6-082f-40fb-a96d-25e580068914Post:d21ff1fc-f22e-43f2-a33d-8c21331b274f">Re: Eloping and Registering</a>:
    [QUOTE]When the time gets closer, we're going to have to do a fake registry for me... so I can at least have fun doing that. LOL
    Posted by Soon2BMrsJeter[/QUOTE]

    Of course you still get to have that!
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  • bakes218bakes218
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
     I don't like the idea of registries either. I almost feel bad telling people what to buy me. That is part of the reason I like eloping because then alot of those traditions, I don't have to worry about.

    Jeter - Are you having an AHR or just a small get together? How far away are you going to have it after the wedding?
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011

    Well, we live in Louisiana - both transplants from Missouri and we're eloping to Colorado.  We did decide that we're going to have a party back in Missouri - but nothing fancy, AT ALL.  We just want to get our friends together to celebrate.  Probably like a backyard bon-fire chilli night, since it'll be October. 

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  • ekathleen684ekathleen684
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011

    I don't think I would have a registry if I eloped. To me they say "You're not invited to my wedding but that doesn't mean you can't buy me stuff."

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  • bakes218bakes218
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Sounds perfect Jeter!
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  • musikbxmusikbx
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I agree that it would be impolite to go out and tell people "we're eloping, but if you want to give us gifts, we've registered at _____" Though close friends or family members may want to give you a gift, even if you are eloping. If you think this could be the case for you, it might be smart to register someplace so you can tell them,but only if they ask.  This will save them a lot of frustrating guesswork if they do choose to give you a gift.

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  • sapphirebaby926sapphirebaby926
    1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I wouldn't be bothered if someone I knew was eloping and registered for gifts. I'm the kind of person that wants to buy a gift for them regardless if I was invited or not and I've done so on a number of occasions.

    Also most places give you a completion discount after your wedding day so you could make one up with stuff you want or want to upgrade and use that discount after the fact Tongue out
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  • jeanacorinajeanacorina
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_eloping-registering?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:a8700ed6-082f-40fb-a96d-25e580068914Post:09b252b1-43d3-4aad-8f60-ded48c096f16">Re: Eloping and Registering</a>:
    [QUOTE]Also most places give you a completion discount after your wedding day so you could make one up with stuff you want or want to upgrade and use that discount after the fact
    Posted by sapphirebaby926[/QUOTE]

    I'm okay with registering because of the completion discount! Go for it! All in the name of saving money!
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  • sapphirebaby926sapphirebaby926
    1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_eloping-registering?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:a8700ed6-082f-40fb-a96d-25e580068914Post:3aa7cd54-c7a6-4787-980c-a53b24a51d9d">Re: Eloping and Registering</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Eloping and Registering : I'm okay with registering because of the completion discount! Go for it! All in the name of saving money!
    Posted by jeanacorina[/QUOTE]

    I'm all about saving money - I just ordered a pair of shoes I've been lusting for that were originally $70 and I got them for $35 <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-smile.gif" border="0" alt="Smile" title="Smile" />
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  • noelle24noelle24
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Okay, I'd totally reigster and not tell anyone just to be able to get a completion discount afterwards.
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  • jeanacorinajeanacorina
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    See? It's all about your intentions! >_>
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  • ekathleen684ekathleen684
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_eloping-registering?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:a8700ed6-082f-40fb-a96d-25e580068914Post:09b252b1-43d3-4aad-8f60-ded48c096f16">Re: Eloping and Registering</a>:
    [QUOTE]I wouldn't be bothered if someone I knew was eloping and registered for gifts. I'm the kind of person that wants to buy a gift for them regardless if I was invited or not and I've done so on a number of occasions. Also most places give you a completion discount after your wedding day so you could make one up with stuff you want or want to upgrade and use that discount after the fact
    Posted by sapphirebaby926[/QUOTE]

    Being NEY, I didn't think about completion discounts. I change my mind to go for it! LOL
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  • catemegcatemeg
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I say you can register at one or two places that are commonly known (BB&B and Macy's, or something) but not really tell anyone about it.  If they ask, you can tell them.  And if they try to get sneaky and search, they'll find it.  Either way, you aren't asking for gifts outright, the only way they'll find out is if they go looking.
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  • KD+BCKD+BC
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    This brings up a whole bunch of my wedding pet peeves. In my opinion, if you are eloping, you don't get gifts. I think that the only people to get you gifts should be those who see you get married. An AHR is only ok if you don't accept gifts. I know not everyone agrees but that's my opinion.

    However, if you do it for the completion discount and don't tell anyone about it, go for it!
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  • katanne9katanne9 member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I agree with KD. If I discovered someone I knew that eloped to be registered, I would think it was weird - completion discount or not.
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  • musikbxmusikbx
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I dunno....

    You may not think it's right to receive gifts when you elope, and even if you tell people not to get them for you, chances are that Great Aunt Whatshername is going to get you something anyways.

    It may be better to register so when she inevitably asks about it, you can tell her... and avoid getting yet another food processor. Although if I did this, I wouldn't run around town telling people where they can buy our (admittedly undeserved) gifts.


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  • musikbxmusikbx
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_eloping-registering?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:a8700ed6-082f-40fb-a96d-25e580068914Post:d7b073d5-b352-46c2-a44b-86e5d3c48db2">Re: Eloping and Registering</a>:
    [QUOTE]I say you can register at one or two places that are commonly known (BB&B and Macy's, or something) but not really tell anyone about it.  <span style="font-weight:bold;">If they ask, you can tell them.  And if they try to get sneaky and search, they'll find it.  Either way, you aren't asking for gifts outright, the only way they'll find out is if they go looking.</span>
    Posted by catemeg[/QUOTE]

    This, I agree with.

    Besides... if someone I know is searching for my registry just so they can judge me for registering, then they are the ones with the problem. I will most likely register to shut my family up, and to avoid getting stuff we realllllly don't need in our teeny-tiny apartment.

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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Why don't you agree with at-home-receptions?  Just wondering....

    We just are having a get together because we want to celebrate with our friends...


    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_eloping-registering?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:a8700ed6-082f-40fb-a96d-25e580068914Post:8d132e5d-c682-4636-8f86-85cd247c7950">Re: Eloping and Registering</a>:
    [QUOTE]This brings up a whole bunch of my wedding pet peeves. In my opinion, if you are eloping, you don't get gifts. I think that the only people to get you gifts should be those who see you get married. An AHR is only ok if you don't accept gifts. I know not everyone agrees but that's my opinion. However, if you do it for the completion discount and don't tell anyone about it, go for it!
    Posted by KD+BC[/QUOTE]
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  • katanne9katanne9 member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Jeter - what you are doing isn't in my realm of an at home reception - which I am opposed to.


    Too many girls want to elope or DW but then also want the bells and whistles of a reception.
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  • KD+BCKD+BC
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_eloping-registering?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:a8700ed6-082f-40fb-a96d-25e580068914Post:5e3003bf-2b20-476d-8fda-bac1242a7cec">Re: Eloping and Registering</a>:
    [QUOTE]Jeter - what you are doing isn't in my realm of an at home reception - which I am opposed to. Too many girls want to elope or DW but then also want the bells and whistles of a reception.
    Posted by katanne9[/QUOTE]

    This.

    I have a problem when people elope or have a DW then come back and have a whole wedding reception. I don't mind going to a party when they come back but to have an actual reception where the bride wears her dress again is just annoying. It comes off as gift-grabby. If you are planning on eloping then coming home and having a get-together, great! I would go if I was your friend IRL. I might even bring you a gift! I guess the problem I have is, if you didn't want me at your ceremony, why do you want me at the reception? You want my gift.
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  • bakes218bakes218
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_eloping-registering?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:a8700ed6-082f-40fb-a96d-25e580068914Post:8f565846-c911-4989-b4b1-fe801ae21f53">Re: Eloping and Registering</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Eloping and Registering : This. <strong>I have a problem when people elope or have a DW then come back and have a whole wedding reception</strong>. I don't mind going to a party when they come back but to have an actual reception where the bride wears her dress again is just annoying. It comes off as gift-grabby. If you are planning on eloping then coming home and having a get-together, great! I would go if I was your friend IRL. I might even bring you a gift! I guess the problem I have is, if you didn't want me at your ceremony, why do you want me at the reception? You want my gift.
    Posted by KD+BC[/QUOTE]

    I totally agree with this. If I do elope, I would love to have a celebration with Family and friends. However, it would be more of a picnic. No gifts, no wedding dress, no wedding cake! Just a fun picnic. You shouldn't have a reception when you don't even have a wedding.
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Oh dear, we'll definitly not be wearing our wedding attire at the "celebration". 

    I guess I understand where you're all coming from.
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