New MOH: Brides-what was the best thing your MOH did for you?

oliveoil695 · January 2012

Hi Ladies,

I am new to TK and a new MOH! I am so excited to be a part of my besties special day. I want to show her my love support along her wedding planning journey, so ladies, what is the most memorable thing your MOH/bridesmaids did/have done for you??

TIA

OliveOilsMom · January 2012

My MOH gave me a pair of keds from zazzle.com that are customized and say "Mrs. FutureLastName" on the back. I'm going to wear them at the reception! They are just adorable!

The other great thing my MOH did was help me when I had a mini freak over my dress. FI said something to me that made it seem like he wouldn't like the dress I picked out. She helped calm me down. So just be there to listen to any of the crazy that some brides can spew.

And if you are willing, this isn't a requirement, but if you are crafty and want to help her with any DIY projects. Offer her your assistance.

And don't read the list of "jobs" MOH/BMs are required to do on the Knot's website. This website is geared to make money for the wedding industry. Many people on here will say buy the dress and show up sober on the wedding day, that's all you technically need to do.

Don't go broke trying to give your bride everything the wedding industry says she deserves. If you want to host a shower, host one you can afford. If the other BMs want to chip in that is great, but not required. Before you plan the shower or bachelorette party (if you have them), is get each contributing person's budget. What you can afford may not be what others can afford.

As a bride that last thing I would want to hear is that a BM was having financial trouble due to trying to give me something the wedding industry says I deserve.

Girlie1030 · January 2012

OOMom has some great tips.

I only had a MOH and the best thing she did for me was to be the exact same friend she's been for the last 18 years. She was excited with me, she let me bounce ideas off her, she let me vent - all the same things she does (and I do in return) for all the other stuff that goes on in life. Oh, and she sang about Toe Jam Football to me when I started to tear up before walking down the aisle. She's a keeper that one.

RaptorSLH · February 2012

Be happy for us.

She's long distance, so we can't do much in person, but when we talk, she invites me to gush, because she's excited for us. It's wonderful to have someone who will talk girly stuff with me, because I'm not normally the girly dressy type, and I don't have many people who will.

Maggie0829 · February 2012

The best thing my MOH did for me, was attend my wedding. My MOH was my sister and she is long distance. I was just happy she, her husband and my niece were able to make the trip. I just wanted her there for the big day...I didn't need presents or huge pre-wedding parties to make me happy or make her a great MOH.

calindi · February 2012

This is really sweet of you to ask, which makes me think you're already going to be an awesome MOH without even trying!

Just be her friend. She asked you to do this presumably because you're important to her. All the little things, especially those that cost money, are extras and bonuses, but having the support and friendship of those closest to you for your big day are really key.

If you can, throw her a shower and a bachelorette party that are her style and within your budget. You won't do her any favors by going into debt yourself because you'll end up resenting her, which will potentially ruin the friendship. I've seen it with a few friends of mine who were bridesmaids and MOHs. It's especially bad when the bride demands expensive things, but if that's the case, it's up to you to politely tell her that you don't have that budget and you'd love to do something special for her, but you don't want to go into debt. Assuming she's as good of a friend as you are, she'll understand and be grateful for what you do for her.

I'd say the cutest little things would make her day - if I were you, I'd probably DIY a shirt or silk robe to say "Mrs. So-and-So" or "Bride" or whatever so she can wear that on her big day. Get her a coffee from Starbucks the day of her wedding that says "The Bride" on it instead of a name (I've seen it, and it's cute). And I'd throw a fun party like a lingerie party or something. None of these are required, obviously, just fun ideas if you want to do them!

graysquirrel · February 2012

Ditto OOM!!! Do not feel obligated to do things that you can't do or feel uncomfortable doing. Anything besides showing up ready to go is extra and a gift.

One of the best things my MOH did was to be interested and there when I needed to get an opinion. She was really sweet about listening to my questions and helping me make choices. She also threw me a wonderful shower with a tea party theme, which was right up my alley. I LOVED it! Again, it wasn't required of her, but it was super nice. She wrote a wonderful speech for the reception, too. I really appreciated all of her kind, funny words.

gundy21 · February 2012

She and her DH were the ones that introduced me to my DH. Pretty big deal there!

In terms of wedding prep - she and her DH (who was a GM) held a co-ed shower for us - a low-key game night / pizza party. It was a fun evening with friends that did not feel "wedding-y" at all.

LoveMuffins · February 2012

She not only came to a Bridal Expo with me and was excited to be there (which is not something that is EVER necessary of an MOH) but when I got super excited about the ranch fountain that we saw there and ended up lamenting that my FI said "absolutely not" to having it at the reception, she made sure there was a ranch fountain at my Bridal Shower. Sometimes it's just the silly little things, but it let me know she was really paying attention to what I like and want and that she wanted to make it happen for me in some way.

She helped me with what she was able to help with and was just excited for me the whole time. Also, she signed the marriage certificate as a witness. That was a pretty big deal

Summer2011Bride · February 2012

The best thing would have to be keeping me laughing/calm on my wedding day. Her and the other BMs sang silly songs when I was about to start crying and helped calm me down when I got nervous (I HATE being in front of a big crowd). Just being themselves really. You don't need to do anything super grand; I think just being there and being who you are is what she'll enjoy.

Elinetrouwt · February 2012

The best thing she's done so far is listen to me go on and on about the wedding. Of course I always tell her to stop me, but she keeps asking questions about the planning and stuff. Just talking to her about it all is the best thing.

And on a completely different note: good luck with TTC ;-)

darkoa1 · February 2012

Just from your post you sound like you are going to be a great maid of honor already!!

I agree with PP just be there for her..moreover be a friend! Do onto others as you want people to do onto you. How would you want people to be there for you when you are getting married?

The best things that my maid of honor has done for me:

1)Listen to my rants! I know I've already started stressing about the little details! She accompanied me to the bridesmaid store on 3 different occasions because I wasn't if the dress that I loved was "the one"!

2) Threw me an engagement party!! (even before she discovered that I was going to give her the maid of honor title) She planned an elegant surprise engagement party for FI and I and when our family and friends discovered they of course came to spill the news (such haters..smh) anywho, the engagement party was held at the same venue where my elder sister had her wedding. It was very classy (she said she didn't want to do something that wasn't me...she said she either did it "right" or she would not have done it all. I was in tears throughout the night! Boy this meant and still means more to me than she knows!

3) Came with me to register for gifts. Initially future hubby and I were supposed to do our registry together. He became sick that same day and I ended up going to register alone (it was a Macy's sip and scan event so everyone had their sig other or loved ones there). I wasn't upset nor was I looking for someone to accompany me (since we live approx 20-30 mins away from our friends). I just wanted someone to be on the phone with me while I walked around solo. Since future hubby was sleeping, I called my MOH and told her that I just needed her opinion with somethings. Once she figured out that I was creating my registry she became upset with me because I was registering alone (lol) better yet she came to the mall where I was registering at (20mins away) right away because she didn't want me to be by myself!

New MOH: Brides-what was the best thing your MOH did for you?

Re: New MOH: Brides-what was the best thing your MOH did for you?

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