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pre deployment leave wedding

brittanybee26brittanybee26 member
First Comment
in Military Brides
My fiance and I are planning to get married before he deploys. I know they are supposed to get leave before they deploy, but has anyone been in the situation where they were supposed to come home on leave before they deployed, and then didn't? Our wedding venue is being really flexable with the date which is great, but i'm worried about him not coming home at all before he deploys! Should i worry? and are they able to request it, or do they have to take it when the rest of their unit is taking pre deployment leave?
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Re: pre deployment leave wedding

  • Beachy730Beachy730 member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_pre-deployment-leave-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:8f916d47-a0ec-4d48-9f89-153dda9241b7Post:2c2439f2-a8ee-4ec5-9ed0-e0c4554f77ef">pre deployment leave wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]My fiance and I are planning to get married before he deploys. I know they are supposed to get leave before they deploy, but has anyone been in the situation where they were supposed to come home on leave before they deployed, and then didn't? Our wedding venue is being really flexable with the date which is great, but i'm worried about him not coming home at all before he deploys! Should i worry? and are they able to request it, or do they have to take it when the rest of their unit is taking pre deployment leave?
    Posted by brittanybee26[/QUOTE]

    <div>It really depends on his command.  How close before the deployment are you talking about?  And how far away would the wedding be?  I know many times you aren't allowed to take leave within a certain time frame before the deployment, or can't travel more than a set distance from the base.  </div><div>
    </div><div>Honestly it's much easier planning for after the deployment.  Is there a reason you definitely want the wedding before?</div>
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  • Sammy0709Sammy0709 member
    Fifth Anniversary 500 Comments 25 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    I wouldn't necessarily worry but I'm sure you're aware things do happen. DH's old batallion got pulled from their pre-deployment leave early because they were told they would leave earlier and actually left later. My suggestion would be to make sure you have all the proper clauses in contracts with your vendors. I wouldn't call it worrying but it's definitely a matter of at least being prepared. ETA: Now that I read DNB's post. I agree that post-deployment seems much easier.
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  • brittanybee26brittanybee26 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We want to do it like a month before he deploys if we can. He's in Japan now, and will be deploying to afghanistan. He's in the Marines if that makes a difference. I haven't made deposits yet, im waiting until the end of the month so i'm hoping he wil know by then, im just worried things might change last minute which is always possible with the military unfortunately :/ i really hope he can request leave though!
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  • brittanybee26brittanybee26 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I dont know why we dont want to wait, i guess it just feels like we have been waiting forever anyway! haha it is just going to be  a small wedding - 40 people at most. We just really want to be married finally, i dont know how to explain why we dont want to wait. haha
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  • kara811kara811 member
    2500 Comments Third Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    Is this your first deployment? If so, I recommend waiting until after, plus like others have said it's better to wait until after when you know for sure they won't be going on deployment anytime soon. 

    He might be able to take leave, but that also depends on the command and how many other people are trying to take leave which a lot of them will be. H is also stationed in Japan but he is Navy. Welcome to the board! 
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  • Beachy730Beachy730 member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I would have him talk to his command about it.  Has he deployed before with this command to know what type of leave schedule they generally allow?  You definitely have a more difficult situation with him having to come here from Japan within that time frame as well.  

    Personally, I wouldn't want to go through the hassle and stress of trying to do it before, but it's your chioce.  It won't be easy though, so make sure you have military clauses in any contracts you sign.  My H is also Navy, so I know it's different, but their schedule has changed at least 4 times already since coming back in the Spring.  Several trips home have needed to be changed, and we are missing 3 weddings now, when originally we would have been able to make at least 2 of them.  This is just as guests, so  I can't imagine trying to plan it if it was our own wedding.  

    Either way, it's up to you.  Planning after would be much easier on you and less stressful, but it's your call.  Have him talk to his superiors and see what his liklihood of getting leave is, any restrictions on it, and when would be the best time to take it.
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  • Sammy0709Sammy0709 member
    Fifth Anniversary 500 Comments 25 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    I know when DH was green side (stationed with the Marines) they had a set period of time to take leave. Like I said sometimes that didn't happen the way it was supposed to. That depended on what was going on in theatre. I would highly consider waiting til after. Besides, then you can plan all the crap he doesn't want to be involved in while he's gone.
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  • firsttimersluckfirsttimersluck member
    2500 Comments Third Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011

    My fiance' doesn't get leave on his deployments so I am no help there..
    Although my father got back from his deployment in December and he's Army. He was suppose to have a year deployment with a 2 week R&R in bettween and it turned into an over two year deployment with no R&R.

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  • SamiJoeBSamiJoeB
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    My H is also a Marine, and is currently stationed in Japan. We chose our wedding date based on a time that we knew we could both get leave, and not simply because "we didn't want to wait anymore".  I asked him and he said that for anyone to get leave to come back to the States from Japan is a PITA. Plus, it's not guaranteed that he'll even be able to request leave.  Your safest bet would be to wait until after deployment. At least after, you can almost guarantee that he'll be able to take lave, and that it won't be affected by an upcoming deployment. If he even gets the opportunity to take the leave before hand, there's always the chance that his leave will get canc'd, or he'll have to go back early, and I'm pretty sure an MIA Groom would put a damper on the big day.
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