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Why did my cousin/MOH have to take it there?!!!!! >(

brandiboohbrandibooh
100 Comments
in African American Weddings
Ok, I have 2 MOHs: my sister is the matron and my cousin is the maid. A little background- 1)my cousin has ALWAYS expressed her jealousy to the sisterly bond my sister and I have 2) She got left two years ago 1 month before her wedding.

Even so, she has been very supportive during our engagement...until now. She's been throwing hissy fits frequently because my wedding is so close to her "birthday and class reunion".  Then she  started complaining that my sister was "stealing" all the glory for planning the bachelorette party and so she wanted to plan the shower. (Side note: My sister is collecting money for a Vegas party bus trip which my cousin knows about.) Fine. She emails me and asks me if she should charge $40 per person so they can eat, and park and drink soda. She wants it to be KLASSY, at a KLASSY place, not ghetto. Annoyed because I don't want to help plan the damn thing anyway (I have 6 other BMS!) I immediately discouraged the idea. I tell her CASUAL is A OK with me.

3 hours later an email to the entire shower guestlist, my friends, my FI's fam, Fi's friends' wives, asking them to pay $40 to come to my shower and to help her plan it (btw she signed me sister's name w/o her permission). The only reason I found this out is because one of my BMs called me so confused.  WTF!!!!! So immediately I am mortified and embarrassed and I call my sister UPset who immediately retracts the email but the damage has been done. I am soo upset.

Is it me? Who asks someone to pay $40 to come bring someone a gift!  "You should be honored to bring me a gift so pay up." My Fi and I have a house for Christ Sakes- plan it there with no rental fee and have some finger foods! Cheap and simple!!! Done! Also, I specifically gave her the list to the BMs so why would she ask guests to help plan it? I honesty don't know if she was trying to "one up" my sister or what, but I feel this is common sense people!! I am just so confused! She's planned an entire wedding so you would think she wouldn't be clueless....???
Wedding Countdown Ticker Number Invited 181image Number Attending 148image Number Declined 23image Number Not Replied 10image RSVP Date July 7 Magic Number:150
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Re: Why did my cousin/MOH have to take it there?!!!!! >(

  • tyboydtyboyd member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    WOW! Sorry you're having to deal with her. I don't think I have any good advice for you, so I'll hold my peace. I know the other ladies will have awesome advice!

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  • eagles347eagles347
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I wish you didn't even ever have to know that she did this foolishness. However, since you do, please have your sister contact the guests on behalf of your bridal party and explain that there was a mix-up and that they should not have been included in that email. Maybe shoud could say that a miscommunication or misunderstanding resulted in details reserved for the bridal party to be extended to the entire guest list. Mad or not, your cousin needs to calm down. Her enthusiasm to help is great, but she needs to make use of whatever common sense God gave her. Whatever you do...don't let this stress you. Your friends and family will understand. This was not your doing...
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  • brandiboohbrandibooh
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Thank you so much! My sister didn't embarrass my cousin when she retracted the email, she just said it was an error, so she really stepped up. My FI keeps reiterating to me to not take on the stress and it's not a reflection of ME. And when I focus on the actual fact I am marrying the man of my dreams that is definitely my "happy place". I think it's just the embarrassment factor that is getting me-no one like to feel like that.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker Number Invited 181image Number Attending 148image Number Declined 23image Number Not Replied 10image RSVP Date July 7 Magic Number:150
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  • desi2002desi2002 member
    1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Wow that is over the top and extreemly messy. I would just let sis handle stuff like that from now on.
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  • missrekaeaglemissrekaeagle
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Dang, I'm so sorry. That has to suck.
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  • winter443winter443 member
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    wow! wth was she thinking?? Please don't let her plan anything related to your wedding.  Thank goodness your sister was able to clean up the mess
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  • KMB611KMB611 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Wow! I've never heard of such nonsense. I agree with you about charging $40 to attend the shower plus bringing a gift. I give props to your sister for handling the situation. This is your time to shine and you shouldn't have to worry about what's going on. Also, this is not a reflection of you and your planning. Your cousin should've asked what you wanted. Your sister should be the head MOH in charge :)
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  • brandiboohbrandibooh
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Thanks girls. Yea the FIRST thing my FI said after it happened was "please do not let her do nothin else excpet stand behind you at the ceremony." LOL It's all good though. I REFUSE to let anyone shift my focus shy away from the more important thing- getting married to my FH.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker Number Invited 181image Number Attending 148image Number Declined 23image Number Not Replied 10image RSVP Date July 7 Magic Number:150
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  • MypasmitaMypasmita
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    ugh! So sorry you have to deal with this. Thankfully, your sister is there. Ick!
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  • MAGNUM06MAGNUM06
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    All i can say is...... WOW!!!!
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