Some of you may remember my post a few weeks ago about my best friend's 16 year old sister who tried to commit suicide. She was readmitted to the hospital to be watched for about 2 weeks, then she did a 6 day outpatient program and was doing a bit better, so I guess they decided to leave it at that. The last time I had talked to my friend, the doctors had made no plans to put her sister in any other program.
Last night her sister called her crying, saying she didn't feel safe at home and that she thought she may hurt herself and needed to go to the hospital. My friend immediately called her grandmother, who her sister was with, and told her to keep an eye on her until she got to the hospital and that she would call her dad. When she called him, the grandmother had already told him what was going on, so he was mad at my friend for not calling him right away. When he got to the hospital, he flipped out and said he couldn't take care of the sister anymore, that she was too much work, and that my friend or the state could have her but he was done. BFF's sister heard all of this.
So now, understandably, my friend is a mess. She is also fighting with her FI, who would not go to the hospital with her because she had already taken Tylenol PM and knew she would just pass out. BFF was of course upset by this, and an argument ensued. I guess FI was making comments under her breath about this happening again, and said that if Bri was really moving in then she would not be staying being that was too much. So BFF is not in good space right now.
She has been venting to me about it this morning, and I am so heartbroken for her. I cannot even imagine being in that situation. It makes me so nervous, though, to think of her taking her sister on as legal guardian. I think it is such a bad idea. I know she wants to be there for her sister and not "abandon" her like both of her parents have, but I just don't think it is wise to try to be her caregiver. She clearly needs constant care, and needs to be in a much longer program than she already has been. My friend is a nurse and her FI is a bartender, so they both work late into the night and her sister would be alone during this time. That is NOT acceptable. My friend is amazing, but she is a freaking 27 year old, she is not equipped to be the guardian of a suicidal 16 year old. I completely agreed with her that her FI needed to be more supportive, even though I am sure it is tough on her, but I mentioned that I think it would be too much for them to have her. She hasn't texted me back.
I am trying to just be there for her right now, as it is clear that she needs emotional support, but I am so worried about her making that decision. I know it is her choice, in the long run, but a big part of me hopes that if she did try for custody of her sister that she would lose. I feel terrible for her sister, and I know she would be miserable if she was handed over to the state, but I really think that would be best for her in the long run. Even if her father changes his mind and says he will take care of her, that may not be best. I think this girl needs to be in the hands of professionals until she has made some serious progress, for her own safety.
Am I awful for thinking about it this way? What would you say to my friend?