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Addressing STD Question

jemmini6jemmini6 member
5000 Comments 25 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
So FI and I are trying to get our STDs out this weekend and there's a few people who are in relationships (obviously will be inviting them), but because we don't know how serious some of them are right now/where they'll be in 6 months...do we include their name on the STD?  For instance, FI's cousin lives out of state and he has a GF.  They don't live together and we aren't exactly sure how serious it is because FI doesn't see or talk to him that often.  I don't want to put her name on the STD and then have them break up and either she thinks she's still invited, or say he breaks up and gets a new GF and then he thinks his new GF isn't invited....so I'm not sure what to do there.  What say you???
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Re: Addressing STD Question

  • smokeybaileysmokeybailey member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    We "and guested" everyone that we weren't sure of.  We still might run the risk of break-up on some of the others but there was only one guy that is dating someone who we didn't know how serious they were.  We gave him a plus one.  When invites are ready to go out, I'll get her name if they are still together.
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  • kyurcekkyurcek
    100 Comments
    To elaborate on my PP... you can certainly put "and guest" on those you don't know for sure.  That way if they want to make travel plans, etc., they can be comfortable doing so.  And you can certainly put the SOs name if you're comfortable that they'll still be together.  But, if you don't want to do either, you don't have to.  Chances are, if you leave it off and they're concerned, they'll contact you and you can fill them in.
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  • ootmother2ootmother2 member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer

    I knew jemm was too smart to DD


    Knot's all time wonky again

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  • kyurcekkyurcek
    100 Comments

    Sorry, I'm a newb here but I wondered this myself 7 mos. ago...  You don't have to put the guest on until the invitations are sent.

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  • Milsey32Milsey32
    1000 Comments
    We're addressing our STDs this weekend and have decided to include names if we know them and if the relationship was to end we would deal with it on a case-by-case basis (as in, if we're friends with both people, they would each get an invitation but if we only met someone's SO once and they break up... that person would not be invited once that time rolls around)
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  • thesequelthesequel
    100 Comments
    If you know the GF's name, then put her down.  But you don't have to the guest's name on a STD, but definitely on the invitation.
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  • SrasotasunshineSrasotasunshine member
    10 Comments
    edited May 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_addressing-std-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b3b49317-e477-47b5-94ff-ca531d232a86Post:134643bb-87e3-449e-a0f6-0f962fa7cd31">Re: Addressing STD Question</a>:
    [QUOTE]Sorry, I'm a newb here but I wondered this myself 7 mos. ago...  You don't have to put the guest on until the invitations are sent.
    Posted by kyurcek[/QUOTE]


    I received a save the date from a friend and she did not put my husband's name on it...just mine...no guest (they came to our wedding a month ago...and I think I posted a thread about her not putting his name or guest on it).

     It is out of town and he needs to request time off way in advance. So, bascially we don't know what to do. If he has to work it will be a no...if he is not invited a phone call will be made...and if he is invited and he is not working then we will go but WHY put your guests into this situation?

    STDs are always less formal so I see nothing wrong with "and guest'. Many people need to plan ahead esp. if they are traveling.

    EDIT: I realize if you mean the actual guest name not to worry until the invite. And guest should go on the STD if you don't have a name:)
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  • jemmini6jemmini6 member
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    So a follow up question...we aren't giving singles +1's, so if I just put "and guest" that kind of implies they get a guest no matter what, right?  I suppose in the few instances we have of this, we'll go ahead and address the STD's with their names and if we find out something happened between now and sending out invites, we'll address it on an individual basis. 


    And LOL Lucy. 
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  • mica178mica178 member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 5 Love Its
    I think if you put the girlfriend's name on your FI's cousin's STD and mail it to his home, it'll acknowledge their relationship now but not imply that the girlfriend is still invited if they break up before the official invitations go out.  The confusion would be if you sent the girlfriend her own invitation to her home, I think. 
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  • jemmini6jemmini6 member
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_addressing-std-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b3b49317-e477-47b5-94ff-ca531d232a86Post:733d92ed-c496-4994-87ee-819e36ee2506">Re: Addressing STD Question</a>:
    [QUOTE]I knew jemm was too smart to DD Knot's all time wonky again
    Posted by ootmother2[/QUOTE]

    I know...I came back to this post after dinner and was like WTF...where did my post go?  LOL.  They must not have a very large IT staff because crap like this happens way too much.
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  • kyurcekkyurcek
    100 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_addressing-std-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b3b49317-e477-47b5-94ff-ca531d232a86Post:0228c02b-f96f-4d53-a2a4-dd27e650b3ea">Re: Addressing STD Question</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Addressing STD Question : I received a save the date from a friend and she did not put my husband's name on it...just mine...no guest (they came to our wedding a month ago...and I think I posted a thread about her not putting his name or guest on it).  It is out of town and he needs to request time off way in advance. So, bascially we don't know what to do. If he has to work it will be a no...if he is not invited a phone call will be made...and if he is invited and he is not working then we will go but WHY put your guests into this situation? STDs are always less formal so I see nothing wrong with "and guest'. Many people need to plan ahead esp. if they are traveling. EDIT: I realize if you mean the actual guest name not to worry until the invite. And guest should go on the STD if you don't have a name:)
    Posted by Srasotasunshine[/QUOTE]

    Oh, I definitely believe your H's name should be on that STD!  I'm talking specifically about <em>if</em> you don't know if the SO will still be w/the cousin/friend/etc. at the time of the invitation.  I was only saying you don't <em>have</em> to put the unknowns on there, <em>if</em> they are truly unknowns.  I think if they're engaged or married the STD should be addressed to both.
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