hey girls, ok so i need a serious vent session regarding my mother. My fiance and i got engaged in Costa Maya, Mexico in August on a cruise we took with my parents and from day 1...actually from hour 1 my mother has been a complete nightmare to deal with. First, she looks at my engagement ring, had nothing nice to say and instead said that if her 3 diamonds were combined on her ring into one itd be bigger then mine. My fiance almost died after hearing that especially since my ring cost him half his annuity and almost a third of his yearly salary. And the funny thing is,...my parents love my fiance so its not like she was trying to be like that to be snotty or rude....she i think is just really jealous.
Next came the fighting over and engagement party. We wanted to have a BBQ late last year and have everyone come to NY and celebrate. But Because she was so stubborn about not having it in NY where i live, we cancelled it because she went on and on about how her and my grandmother needed surgery...yet 2 days after surgery, she was on her way to Dover Downs Speedway to watch a nascar race...even though we put money down and were going to pay for it ourselves, she still pushed me to cancel it.
My fiance and i are paying for our entire wedding ourselves. My mother once upon a time offered to buy my dress and that is and was fine with me.
My mother tried convincing us to have something small and at town hall, but i waited a long time for this and wasnt going to just let it go by without some sort of wedding i wanted. and i understood every penny was our responsibility and so i have not asked nor suggested for any money from my family at all. She calls me high maintenance and a Prima Donna and tells me that my taste is too expensive. Mind you my wedding is costing us 25K and thats it. I know people who were 4 times that.
I am livid that she keeps trying to make things convenient for her and doesnt give a crap about anything i want.
Call me bridezilla, but i am at the end of my rope with my mother. I cant tell her to just butt out because thats my mother...but i dont think she has the right to tell me what to do when she isnt paying the bill. Everything is all about her...her dress, her entrance, etc. she is coming to visit in 2 weeks to looks for dresses for me..which i already have it picked out....but once she heard the price, she threw a hissy fit about it and made me call a bunch of places to find it cheaper. I finally found a place who had the dress for $1000 and she is still complaining (got it down from $1400 for her and got the alterations added for free). Shes already asking me if we could go look for her dress. so ...im ready to spend the whole weekend catering to her again and probably wont get my dress.
The latest and greatest thing is , last night i get a call from my best friend and maid of honor telling me that my mother Facebooked her and sent her a note about my shower. basically the note said that my mother knows that i dont want my shower in NJ (because i live at exit 72 in long island, 3.5 hrs from my parents) and that my mother basically doesnt care. she wants it in NJ. Not to mention that my mother in law is being left out of the loop which i dont like. My mother wants the shower in like 3 months....but im not getting married until May 2012. UGH!!!!!!
My mother is telling my maid of honor that my MOH is responsible for the shower...and that my mother will be there to help out but that she wants it in NJ and that i dont get to plan my shower and so its where my MOH and mother decide. My MOH doesnt have a lot of money which i told my mother and i feel bad that my mother is pushing her into doing the shower too when she just doesnt have the money. My fiances mom already thought the parents would throw the shower and let my MOH do the bachelorette so that she isnt left with all the financial burdon. plus neither family is giving us any money toward the wedding anyway.
I cant believe that my planning has turned into a complete and utter nightmare. They need to really make a momzilla show...because my mother is so rediculous it would be sheer entertainment to watch i am sure. But in the meantime...she is ruining everything....i havent slept in weeks and keep having nightmares about my wedding. this is NOT how things should be.
Thoughts, input, ...sanity advice???? UGH!