Pre-wedding Parties

bridal party double booked for my shower and holiday party - help!

OK, a friend of mine has her Christmas party every year the weekend before Christmas and most of my girlfriends, including myself, go to it. My bridal shower is the first weekend in December and, this year, so is the Christmas party. The two respective cities for each party are 3 hours apart with most of the girls living in a city right in between or in the same city as the Christmas party. She is already telling everyone about her party and my invites for my shower don't go out until next week. She does know about my shower because she is a close friend - bachelorette party invitee, but not bridesmaid. I have the feeling some of my bridesmaids are going to be torn about which one to go to. How do I handle it? Do I go ahead and tell them I expect them at my shower? And if they go to the other, what do I do? I feel like if they are going to choose another party over my shower then maybe they shouldnt be a bridesmaid. Advice?

Re: bridal party double booked for my shower and holiday party - help!

  • SuMmErKuTiESuMmErKuTiE member
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I would talk to your bridal shower host and see if there's a possibility of moving the shower to a different date so your friends don't have to make a choice and you don't have to miss your annual Christmas party. Invites haven't gone out yet for the shower, so there's still time to make adjustments.
  • edited December 2011
    I would totally do that in a heartbeat, but my MOH has already designed and ordered the invitations so we cannot change them
  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    If the invitations are the only thing holding you back, why not offer to cover the cost of reprinting them? Then you will get to go to the Christmas party, too. And your friends won't have to pick one party over the other.

    If you decide to leave the date as it is, then you can't require the bms atttend your shower. Bms should be invited to all showers, but they get to pick and choose which ones they want to attend. If they decide to attend the Christmas party, then you should tell them to have a great time. Don't hold it against them.
                       
  • edited December 2011
    Thank you MairePoppy! I appreciate your advice...  the more I read these boards, the more I am understanding that the bridesmaids are invited to everything, but they necessarily do not have to attend. I hope they are there, but I won't hold it against them. I guess I am just more upset with my close friend who decided to have her shin-dig the same day when she knew about my bridal shower, but oh well. My wedding is not worth losing friends over. I am actually going to make the 3 hour trek to her party after my shower is over and just be late. Maybe I can offer for all us girls (me and the BMs) to do that together.  There is not enough time to change the date and invites because my MOH is 9 months pregnant and needs to have the invites in at the timeframe they are currently arriving so she can have them addressed and sent out before she has her baby. It's always something isnt it? Wink
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_bridal-party-double-booked-shower-holiday-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:32Discussion:8a87b3f4-e73f-450d-96e0-66846f0ffd46Post:967afcc4-a0f3-49e9-ba8b-f1883f8847cd">Re: bridal party double booked for my shower and holiday party - help!</a>:
    [QUOTE] It's always something isnt it?
    Posted by Kappell&Cofer[/QUOTE]

    That's the spirit!  Hopefully it will all work out for you.
  • SuMmErKuTiESuMmErKuTiE member
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_bridal-party-double-booked-shower-holiday-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:8a87b3f4-e73f-450d-96e0-66846f0ffd46Post:967afcc4-a0f3-49e9-ba8b-f1883f8847cd">Re: bridal party double booked for my shower and holiday party - help!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Thank you MairePoppy! I appreciate your advice...  the more I read these boards, the more I am understanding that the bridesmaids are invited to everything, but they necessarily do not have to attend. I hope they are there, but I won't hold it against them. I guess I am just more upset with my close friend who decided to have her shin-dig the same day when she knew about my bridal shower, but oh well. My wedding is not worth losing friends over. <strong>I am actually going to make the 3 hour trek to her party after my shower is over and just be late. Maybe I can offer for all us girls (me and the BMs) to do that together. </strong> There is not enough time to change the date and invites because my MOH is 9 months pregnant and needs to have the invites in at the timeframe they are currently arriving so she can have them addressed and sent out before she has her baby. It's always something isnt it?
    Posted by Kappell&Cofer[/QUOTE]

    That's a great idea!
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