Hypothetical question

Theresa626 · June 2010

Let's say you were forced to choose between having a legal ceremony and having a religious ceremony but you couldn't ever have both. Which would you have chosen? Legal or the Catholic one?

tldh · June 2010

Unless a priest is not licensed with the state, the Catholic ceremony will be legal.

If this is the scenario you are envisioning, I'd take the judge marrying us. I don't believe you need a priest in order for God to recognize a marriage - he knows what is in everybody's hearts. God =/= organized religion. The legal ramifications of not being married will literally last until the day you die: legitimacy of children, property rights, end of life decisions, inheritance rights of you and your children, etc. I don't know of any state that recognizes common law marriage anymore.

bel138 · June 2010

Catholic. The ramifications of not having one would last for all of eternity, not just until the day I die. So that wins.

The legal recourse of not having a civil ceremony could be remedied through various legal documents - medical power of attorney, living wills, regular estate wills. I have no idea what the PP means about legitimacy of children.

Riss91 · June 2010

Catholic. The ramifications of not having one would last for all of eternity, not just until the day I die. So that wins.

Agreed! It's way more important to me to be married in eyes of the church, than to be married in the eyes of the government.

Myroni03 · June 2010

I think PP meant legitmacy of children for birth certificates and custody issues. The law presumes things when ppl are legally married but does not always presume the same if a couple is legally unmarried...

Furthermore, not all the documents that other PP suggested will take the place of a marriage. Many Gay couples have those documents but their legal treatment isn't as good as it would be if they were legally married.

Calypso1977 · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_hypothetical-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:615Discussion:c1cb5b66-95fc-410b-ac16-ee6d26634821Post:468f77ac-8e83-47ca-a5df-1edb9e9609ff">Re: Hypothetical question</a>:
[QUOTE]Catholic. The ramifications of not having one would last for all of eternity, not just until the day I die. So that wins. Agreed! It's way more important to me to be married in eyes of the church, than to be married in the eyes of the government.
Posted by Riss91[/QUOTE]

ditto.
i hope this never has to be a choice anyone has to make.

clearheavens · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_hypothetical-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:c1cb5b66-95fc-410b-ac16-ee6d26634821Post:1675aa0f-51e3-4bab-b883-b0b041bdae0e">Re: Hypothetical question</a>:
[QUOTE]Catholic. The ramifications of not having one would last for all of eternity, not just until the day I die. So that wins. The legal recourse of not having a civil ceremony could be remedied through various legal documents - medical power of attorney, living wills, regular estate wills. I have no idea what the PP means about legitimacy of children.
Posted by bel138[/QUOTE]

<div>Ditto!</div><div>
</div><div>Also, technically speaking, I believe that the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony is administered by the bride and groom to one another. This allows cases where a man and a woman who are stranded on an island to marry one another with no priest or deacon there yet still have a valid marriage in the eyes of the Church. However, this should not discourage people to get married in an actual, physical church and with a priest or deacon to preside! All efforts humanly possible must be made to secure a priest or deacon to get married.</div>

unplainjane · June 2010

a civil wedding would have been the easier route but we decided to do the work of having a catholic ceremony. we thought it is important for the church to recognize our marriage and have our kids raised catholic. though if you are asking this question because you actually want both what you could do is have a small catholic ceremony which would be the legal one and then do a "fake" ceremony afterwards. for example if you wanted your ceremony outdoors or want a destination wedding. though i think a lot of priest may not like this idea.

Theresa626 · June 2010

unplainjane, it's really just a hypothetical question. It has nothing to do with me and no one would be put in this situation. I'm really asking which is more important to you... the legal ceremony or the religious ceremony. Obviously, both are important but what if you had to choose?

blackfire5th · June 2010

The religious ceremony is more important to me.

Jasmine&Rajah · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_hypothetical-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:c1cb5b66-95fc-410b-ac16-ee6d26634821Post:468f77ac-8e83-47ca-a5df-1edb9e9609ff">Re: Hypothetical question</a>:
[QUOTE]Catholic. The ramifications of not having one would last for all of eternity, not just until the day I die. So that wins.[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE]Agreed! It's way more important to me to be married in eyes of the church, than to be married in the eyes of the government.
Posted by Riss91[/QUOTE]

Amen, bel and amen, Riss. :-)

ChrissyDipi · June 2010

Agree as well a Catholic ceremony - not only is it important to me to be married in the eyes of God, but the ceremony is so much more beautiful than just standing in front of a jodge or something.

I want the whole schabang

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