My 2 FSIL..

Re: My 2 FSIL..

• Maggie0829 member

  

  March 2012

  I think you are overthinking this.  I think it makes sense that he thought they would be getting ready with the other girls.  I don't think hot shaves are appropriate for two women
  
  Also, I don't think that if they do get ready with you on the day that they will think poorly of you about not standing on your side.
  
  Your best bet is to ask your two FSIL what they would prefer.  They may be happy going to the salon together and then meeting up with their brother for lunch once they are done.  They may be happy getting ready with all the girls hanging out and drinking mimosas.  Ask them what they would prefer and go from there.

  
  

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• mbcdefg member

  

  March 2012

  Whats the point of them being on his sides if they are doing everything with us?!?!
  
  They're standing there supporting BOTH of you. You don't need to segregate the sides as His vs. Yours. It's not like you won't be chatting or hanging out with any of the groomsmen just because they're not your own attendants, right?
  
  Ask the sisters what they want to do, and then figure it out from there. You have a TON of time to make arrangements, and I'm sure the sisters would appreciate the offer to be included (even if they don't take you up on it).
  
  I also feel like it looks like a copout on my end, "we are doing everything with the bridesmaids but she doesn't want us to stand on her side.. Etc. Etc.
  
  I think you're really overthinking this part. They know they're on your FI's side because he's their brother, not because you didn't want them near you. 
  
  It'll  work out. Relax.

  

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• Lolagirl2012 member

  

  March 2012 edited March 2012

  Sigh... I know I get what you are all saying. I do tend to worry about the details and I keep hearing that I need to stand up for myself and want I want for this day, and I feel that it was not cool of my FI to assume that I would just handle everything with his sisters. I agree asking them their preference, but I don't feel that I should have to be the one to handle that, I will ask my FI to chat with them.

  I guess I should have included that they are 10 and 12 years older than me and very prim and proper. Meaning they are very anti-drinking and while we aren't planning on getting crazy, but there would be no mimosas and the girl talk between my bridesmaids and I would defiantly be edited. This is why I picked the 7 of them because they are the ones I want to be around before I’m crazy nervous/excited on my wedding day. While I love my future SIL, I was really looking forward to this time with my closest friends and my sister and the dynamics will be very different with them in attendance.

  Now, does this mean I have to invite them to the bachelorette party? It would change the dynamics again, but I’m not sure how he can include them in his bachelor party. Argg.. This seemed like a great idea at the time!

   

   

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• Maggie0829 member

  

  March 2012

  You should not edit yourself or expect anyone else to edit themselves just because they are around.  It doesn't matter what age they are or if they are "prim and proper".
  
  You can still have a great time with all your friends on the day of your wedding.  But to be honest (from someone who has had their wedding) the morning of isn't all that exciting.  You sit around, eat some food, chit-chat, get hair and makeup done and boom you are in your gown walking down the aisle.  I am not sure what you expect it to be like but it is nothing like the movies.
  
  As for the bach party, it would be nice if they were invited by whoever is hosting it, but that doesn't mean that they will come or even stay for the whole thing.
  
  Again, you should ask them what they would like to do the morning of.  They may surprise you and say that they would rather get ready at home and arrive at the ceremony site in time for pre-wedding pictures and such.  If they have a husband and children, they may want to do this just for ease of getting everyone ready and to the church on time.

  
  

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• mbody

  

  March 2012 edited March 2012

  I don't think it would be a big deal to include them on your plans for the day of- it would also be the nice thing to do. Maybe they will decline and do their own thing.
  
  As for worrying about the mimosas and b-party, just do what you were going to do anyway. You don't have to change your plans for them. If they have an issue with it, they'll leave.
  

  

  Anxiously awaiting baby #1! Baby BOY Due: May 30, 2013!

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• Lolagirl2012 member

  

  March 2012

  I never said age was the reason that they were prim and proper, just that they are older and yes I'm aware they aren't dead but the age difference does sometimes make itself apparent with some of the conversation disconnects we have had in the past. They are prim and proper because that's who they are, and have been at different ages.

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• eripat17

  

  March 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_my-2-fsil?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:4f359a8d-07a4-46b8-862d-f015b70d15f8Post:11a44349-e326-4e4f-baf1-1bbed0f77b0c">Re: My 2 FSIL..</a>:
  [QUOTE]I don't think it would be a big deal to include them on your plans for the day of- it would also be the nice thing to do. Maybe they will decline and do their own thing. As for worrying about the mimosas and b-party, just do what you were going to do anyway. You don't have to change your plans for them. If they have an issue with it, they'll leave.
  Posted by mbody[/QUOTE]
  
  Totally agree with this!  If you at least offer to include them then it shows them that you're making an effort to keep them included in the wedding day festivities, if they're a little prim and proper they really may not feel comfortable getting ready with a bunch of guys?  Don't censor yourself or your BM's, drink your mamosas and have a great time, this is who you are and they really are going to have to get used to it!  Good Luck, I hope it works out for you =)

  

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• sweetcanadian1979

  

  March 2012

  I would get him to ask them what they prefer to be comfortable. I get it doesn't fit in your vision but they ARE his sisters & you do not want them to feel like they are tossed around discarded trash. They may not be your type of people but that is ok, they don't have to be. Include them with whatever they want to be included in, make sure they don't feel left out & leave it at that.

  
  

  What is with all the drinking beforehand? I sure hope you are not getting married in a church. A microbrewery seems more appropriate for a bachelor party

  
  Dream Honeymoon/Actual Honeymoon Disneyworld

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• Lolagirl2012 member

  

  March 2012

  In Response to Re:My 2 FSIL..:[QUOTE]What is with all the drinking beforehand? I sure hope you are not getting married in a church. A microbrewery seems more appropriate for a bachelor party Posted by sweetcanadian1979[/QUOTE]
  
  The microbrewery/pub is a fantastic lunch place that the guys will have one beer at with lunch. Lots of families frequent it with their kids, nothing bachelor party like. It's really no different than guys grabbing brunch and having a bloody Mary or having a beer on the gold course while playing 9 holes before the formalities start.
  
  We don't have anyone in our group that needs to be babysat. It's fun to have friends that are adults and can handle a mimosa or beer hours before the ceremony. It's not like we will be taking shots while waiting to walk down the isle. And, yes, we are getting married in a church, but obviously won't be drinking there. Pretty sure that the big guy upstairs won't curse our marriage because we can enjoy alcohol responsibly on our big day : And have safe, sober and reliable transportation.

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