Mother-in-law Zilla!

apaadzzzz · May 2010

Wow! I don't even know what else to say. MIL-Zilla bc she's generously giving you money for the wedding, just not as much as you want? Wow!

Maureen679 · May 2010

So we are paying for the entire wedding on our own. Bridal Party is responsible for their attire for the day. FIL are paying for the rehearsal dinner. Other then that the enire wedding is being financed by myself and fiance. We have our budget and think that we are planning the best wedding possible on that price. FIL have complianed about things we are getting and money we are spending. However since it is our money and budget we just say thank you for your opinion however we are aware of what we can and cannot afford. Would it be nice to have extra money to work with-absolutely, but is it nice to say our money our event-even better.

sjnsjnsjn · May 2010

I think maybe you mean it's traditional for certain sides to pay for certain things, but most people don't do things like that anymore, besides that traditions are often culture or region specific. Groomsmen can pay for their own shoes. No one is paying for our groomsmen's shoes, but them.

hd7694 · May 2010

I am with Maureen! With the exception of the complaints.

Where did OP go? I love how people post something on here and get all the responses telling them they are wrong. THEN-its like the Bermuda triangle hit! They just disappear! Sheesh-atleast come back and defend yourself!! lol

mdd123082 · May 2010

Wow, I think a few postees are being a little harsh with their opinion of your situation, especially when they may not understand every detail.
I agree something is being miscommunicated, and I think that's the total budget that FMIL is willing to cover.
I don't think you're being irrational in your frustration that your FMIL is probably back pedaling on something you say she volunteered to pay for.
She shouldn't hold her volunteerism over your head, but I do think if she is surprised at the cost of tuxedo rentals, she should be allowed to be relieved of costs on the smaller rental purchases, such as the shoes or cuff links, for example.
That is, after all, upholding her word that the tuxes are paid for.
And that surely isn't irrational either- it's a generous offer.
Any other contributions, regardless of where they come from, should just be appreciated for whatever they are. If anyone else volunteers for something to be paid for, give them a total cost so you'll both know if it's feasible, preventing further complaints down the line.
Good luck!

nkdettloff · July 2010

Wow, I am glad I found this post because this has put a lot of things in persective for me. Our wedding is coming up and we are not recieving any money from my FIL's towards our wedding. They have offered to pay for the rehersal dinner and thats it. My FMIL early in our engagement offered to pay for my bouquet, but it has been 10 months and she hasn't brought it up again (even at the florist appt) so I am not counting on that money. If she decides later to pay for it great, if not I am still going to get the flowers I want and I will pay for them.

Early in the planning stages I became overwhelmed because I wanted a small wedding (20 people) or to elope. My fiance wanted a bigger wedding with 100 people or so and he expected my Father to pay for it. I told my fiance that wasn't going to happen because my Dad is out of work right now. Since he wanted such a big wedding I started to become resentful that his family had not offered to help with anything since they just paid for his sister's HUGE wedding 2 years earlier. But after a while I realized that I shouldn't expect anything from them and thats just the way it is. "Traditions" are out the window in this day and age and it comes down to who is willing to contribute what. In the end we are paying for it. It is going to be around 80 people (still way more than I want) but at least my fiance is helping me pay for part of the bill. (He still thinks it is the bride's responsibility). This thread has made me realize that I should be grateful that his parents are paying for the rehersal dinner and try not to hold on to any resentment which will hurt any relationship with my FIL's that I hope to have.

Mother-in-law Zilla!

Re: Mother-in-law Zilla!

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