asking to not share pix

[Deleted User] · June 2012

My FI and I aren't sure how to ask our guests not to be posting pictures during the wedding and reception on facebook. We'd like to be the ones to post the first pictures of our wedding. Any advice on how to get the word out to our guests without sounding rude?

[Deleted User] · June 2012

With social media, I think this is almost impossible. If they tag you, you could certainly set a privacy setting so you have to approve all your pictures. Perhaps you could set up an online album and ask guests to share photos there instead? Provide a small business card at the tables with this information.

ElisabethJoanne · June 2012

slate.com had a column on this. Basically agreed with PP. glamour.com says it's rude to post pictures from a wedding before the "official" ones are up, but glamour.com is a rather obscure source, even for wedding-savvy guests.

Snarky answer: Invite old people without digital cameras. It's only with my peer-friends that there's this posing-for-amateur-photos nonsense at every social event.

Less snarky answer: Politely refuse to pose for pictures on your wedding day, so at least there aren't good ones of you. Whenever someone pulls out a camera, just say, "Oh, I really must talk to Aunt Mabel. I know she's leaving early."

planingweddinggirl · June 2012

Send an email or have a small sign posted at the guestbook/entrance area to inform your guests about your photo policies. Or have an "unplugged" wedding where all cell phones and cameras are BANNED from the wedding! jk that would be impossible, but I still think you should email them.

Summer2011Bride · June 2012

Some of the above advice is not good. Unless your venue has restrictions against photos during the ceremony, you can't tell people to not take pictures at a wedding. How would you even police that? Would you seriously take away someone's camera or kick them out if they take a pic? You will be so busy on your wedding day, that would be impossible, not to mention rude. Don't say anything about not taking pictures. And I think the idea of refusing to pose for pics is rude too. So your nearest and dearest come to your wedding and are so excited to see you get married and just want a nice shot of you and Uncle Bob and you're going to start talking to somebody else and refuse a picture? Get over it.

In the age of social media, you can't control who posts what. Frankly, I loved being able to see friends' pics the day after our wedding since we wouldn't get professional ones for awhile, and our friends were able to capture some moments even our photog didn't. You can always untag yourself, but I think you are picking the wrong battle to fight.

[Deleted User] · June 2012

I agree that sometimes guests capture the very best pitctures and i can't wait to see them. we have a friend who will be a guest who is also a professional photographer. She is NOT doing our wedding photos but did promise to take some shots for us and will have them the day after the wedding.

rlavach · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_photos-video_asking-to-not-share-pix?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:30Discussion:1bd31ebc-e173-4411-954c-6fec560de471Post:49969953-0e5b-4005-9de0-11d9c18c7c2d">asking to not share pix</a>:
[QUOTE]My FI and I aren't sure how to ask our guests not to be posting pictures during the wedding and reception on facebook. <strong>We'd like to be the ones to post the first pictures of our wedding. </strong>Any advice on how to get the word out to our guests without sounding rude?
Posted by kim1174[/QUOTE]
Am I the only one that wonders why?

willywally5 · June 2012

rlvach, I am wondering the same thing. Is there some particular reason? Like witness protection program or something? Very curious.

[Deleted User] · June 2012

sometimes people just take unflattering pictures, thats all. Do you want to first picture of you in your wedding dress seen by the world to be one of you talking or making a funny face or scowling at something someone says, or you with a mouthful of food at your reception?...geeze, it was just a question for advice, isn't that the point of this place?

willywally5 · June 2012

I don't think anyone said anything out of line ... I just wondered if there was some really compelling, significant reason why you'd be concerned about this.

Now that you've stated your 'reason', here goes: I think it is REALLY rude, self-centered and controlling of you to insist nobody put up pics until you do.

Personally, I think some of the best wedding pictures I've ever seen are the fun, crazy ones.

But since you want to be in total control of the images people see, email away or put a notice in your program . Shoot, you could even hire big thugs to yank cameras from people's hands ... whatever works for you. God forbid anyone see you being a real human being instead of perfect bridal Barbie.

And, YES, 'this place' is for advice ... but when you ask, you need to be prepared that people might not agree with you or your ideas.

[Deleted User] · June 2012

I have no problem with those fun goofy pictures, I actually can't wait to laugh at and see those 'duh moments' that people capture. i completely agree that those are sometimes the very best ones. I just don't want those to be the very first ones people see, thats all. Theres nothing wrong with wanting to put the formal nice picture first and then the fun ones after. If you watch a movie, the bloopers are never at the beginning, they are at the end...
I accept and understand that people may not agree with my opinion, but i wasn't asking for peoples opinion on whether or not it was ok to ask, i was asking HOW to ask guests not to post them. Read the question and respond appropriately next time sweetie.

willywally5 · June 2012

Well, SWEETIE ... (gag)

I DID answer your question. Your question was,'Any advice on how to get the word out to our guests without sounding rude?'

My answer is NO, there isn't any way to do it. You will come across as rude by making such a request in any fashion. So do it in whatever rude and controlling way you'd like ... with a mass email or snotty llittle note in your program and fiigure out some way to enforce it.

Good luck!

rlavach · June 2012

There is no nice way to say that because there is no nice way to control that. More importantly, what type of friends/family do you have that they would post unflattering pictures of you? Yes, perhaps pics that aren't perfect, but why would a friend post a pic of you looking really horrible? That's not a friend.

Another thing I've noticed is that the amount that your friends/family post wedding related messages & pictures after seems to directly correlate with how much YOU post on FB regarding your wedding. Are you constantly sending out update posts, putting up pics of events or DIYs...then that signals to others that you're wide open about your wedding and don't mind sharing. I was VERY private about my wedding. I changed my relationship status and that was it. No one ever wrote me anything publically about it because it was obvious that this wasn't my style. After the wedding, I had a handful of pics emailed to me, but that's it. Nothing posted on FB. Without having to warn them like children, I got the point across that I didn't feel FB was the appropriate place for my wedding.

cyndilouwho77 · July 2012

I actually attended a wedding in which the officiant alerted the crowd that they bride and groom did not want pictures posted on facebook or any other media until they were home from the honeymoon. The very next morning the bride texted me and begged me to post pictures and videos from the wedding cause she really wanted to see what we saw.

So I would say in echoing someone above, just make it so that you have to approve any pictures that you are tagged in on facebook and maybe make it so that have to approve any post directly to your wall as well. That way you can see what is being posted before it is posted....if you do not like the picture politely ask that friend to remove it from facebook, i think your true friends will totally understand.

In a way I totally understand the fear or someone posting something you may not like, I am a plus size bride and worry greatly about what might be posted....but I also really want to see all the pics asap...lol!!

mrsR12 · July 2012

I dont think that there's a polite way to say pls dont post pic. if you want to be not polite then maybe post that on your status.

i just found out about wedding turtle - a site that ppl can post your pics without them having to create an account, i think we're doing that. i havent said anything about my wedding on fb but i know that some ppl will post pics on there, nothing i can do about it.

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