mom's boyfriend, only guy at bridal shower

brittnic7 · February 2010

my mom's boyfriend is an extremely generous sweet, kind person; he is also very flamboyant and feminine, enjoys cooking, decorating the house for holidays, and putting homemade bows on all gifts. My mom takes him to everything guy or girl event. He even came to my bridesmaids' dress shopping, which was news to me. My mom has insisted on throwing me a bridal shower regardless of ettiquette. I figured it would be a good time to ask if her BF will be there, to which she replied "yes." I told her that it is a girls only party and she seemed upset and said it would hurt his feelings. Having 1 guy at the shower will change the total dynamic of it all. The thing is, he is a person that will be involved with the cooking, cleaning, entertaining, etc. How do I address this further, without hurting feelings but still getting a ladies only bridal shower?

shellydiane820 · February 2010

He sure sounds like one of the gals.

kate51485 · February 2010

You can politely decline the shower, or accept it as offered.

MeaghanandMichael · February 2010

Eh I am not generally a gender lines type of person and it seems like he would really enjoy/get into the shower. I say roll with it.

Or decline the shower.

baystateapple · February 2010

It doesn't sound like he'd change the entire dynamic. He seems like he'd go with the flow. Either accept it as is, or decline the shower.

brittnic7 · February 2010

thanks for your input...it won't ruin my day or anything but would just prefer all the "gals" to be there... thanks again!

alwysbrdmaid · February 2010

I agree with the others. Maybe your mom is a beard and so he would actually really enjoy the shower. Like a lot. I can't imagine any of the guys in my life liking it but as long as he doesn't feel uncomfortable then I don't see the big deal.

redheadfsu · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_moms-boyfriend-only-guy-bridal-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8c489f69-658e-4e02-8258-23f785d3aac3Post:82974e3f-8d54-4221-968f-45b16ea54c52">Re: mom's boyfriend, only guy at bridal shower</a>:
[QUOTE]Eh I am not generally a gender lines type of person and it seems like he would really enjoy/get into the shower. I say roll with it. Or decline the shower.
Posted by MeaghanandMichael[/QUOTE]

Ditto.

tlv204 · February 2010

If your mom is throwing the shower you can't tell her that it is a "girl's only" event. That is up to the hostess's discretion, and incredibly rude to demand parameters like that when you're not in charge.

goheels05 · February 2010

I'm really sorry that your mom's boyfriend isn't a truck driving, beer guzzling, football watching lumberjack like you seem to think all men should be, but I really think you are over-reacting. She's throwing the shower for you and she wants to invite her boyfriend. I think you are the one with the problem because you obviously have some sort of weird gender hang-ups. FWIW, there were lots of men at my shower, including my husband. It's not 1950. People can :gasp: break gender stereotypes.

shellydiane820 · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_moms-boyfriend-only-guy-bridal-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8c489f69-658e-4e02-8258-23f785d3aac3Post:fd3ae770-4c60-4a8b-b6b1-e751309dc094">Re: mom's boyfriend, only guy at bridal shower</a>:
[QUOTE]If your mom is throwing the shower you can't tell her that it is a "girl's only" event. That is up to the hostess's discretion, and incredibly rude to demand parameters like that when you're not in charge.
Posted by tlv204[/QUOTE]

I would think, if its something that made her uncomfortable, her mom would take into consideration her feelings.

It goes along the lines of "whoever pays, gets the final word." I think it only goes so far.