New name?! Not a Q!

JennaV26 · May 2010

I hate my FI's last name. Hate it. Someone on another board asked when people start getting used to their new last name and I was like "Wow, I don't think I'm ever going to get used to it.. because I hate it." It doesn't help that my last name ROCKS.

Sigh. I asked him to take my name and let me be the first to warn you: Don't do that!!! It hurts the male ego.

But I want us to have the same last name so I'm stuck. I just needed to vent! Thanks for reading!!

FutureMsAlexander · May 2010

Why don't you just keep your last name?

MeaghanandMichael · May 2010

Mike's last name sucks. I took it anyway because that was important to me personally. It did bother me for a time and we seriously considered doing a merge of our two names. I am completely used to it and over it now.

J&K10910 · May 2010

I'm keeping mine. Not because FI's last name sucks (it doesn't, though I don't like the way my first sounds with it), but because I like mine, it's mine, and I'm the last gen in our family to have it. We're all girls. So the name ends with me, and I'm keeping it, damn it. Also, for professional reasons.

betrothed123 · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_new-name-not-q?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:3c508c7a-71f9-4321-a41e-25f6ff8d4049Post:02efd1a6-10e9-485c-8ceb-ed0de7af194f">New name?! Not a Q!</a>:
[QUOTE]I hate my FI's last name. Hate it. Someone on another board asked when people start getting used to their new last name and I was like "Wow, I don't think I'm ever going to get used to it.. because I hate it." It doesn't help that my last name ROCKS. Sigh. I asked him to take my name and let me be the first to warn you: Don't do that!!! It hurts the male ego. But I want us to have the same last name so I'm stuck. I just needed to vent! Thanks for reading!!
Posted by JennaV26[/QUOTE]

My H actually suggested taking my last name, so just because your FI got all butt-hurt about it does not mean that it hurts "The male ego."

If you don't like his last name don't take it. This is not a difficult problem.

SheDiva4 · May 2010

[QUOTE]I hate my FI's last name. Hate it. It doesn't help that my last name ROCKS.
Posted by JennaV26[/QUOTE]

I'm so sorry for you. Do you have a middle name? In my FI's family the women were never given middle names so when his Mom and sister got married they took their maiden name and their middle name.

Susan Rockin last name married= Susan rockin last name, Smith

I have middle name and it's really special to me so I have to get used to a new last name that is pretty dull and average.

JennaV26 · May 2010

Thanks Meaghan, that makes me feel a little better. It's important to me, too, that we have the same last name but I'm still kind of sad. I never thought of it before we became engaged, that a woman wouldn't like her new last name. My mom says she really struggled with it before she married my dad so maybe it's genetic

AllenBaker · May 2010

I'm keeping my last name too. I brought FI changing his to mine up to him and he considered it, but neither of us feel all that passionately about having the same last name. If you don't want to change your last name, then don't. Honestly, people will still call you Mrs. FisLastName whether you like it or not, it's kind of annoying.

JennaV26 · May 2010

Betrothed - I'm jealous.

Albireo · May 2010

People started calling me Mrs. B before we were even engaged, despite the fact that I'd like to be called Ms. S.

J&K10910 · May 2010

I had someone tell me once "If you're not thrilled to become Mrs. hislastname, you probably shouldn't be marrying him."

Really?

AllenBaker · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_new-name-not-q?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:3c508c7a-71f9-4321-a41e-25f6ff8d4049Post:72d7ceaa-b351-4b19-acd5-6cb76cbe26a1">Re: New name?! Not a Q!</a>:
[QUOTE]I had someone tell me once "If you're not thrilled to become Mrs. hislastname, you probably shouldn't be marrying him." Really?
Posted by J&K10910[/QUOTE]

I had someone tell me it showed that I wasn't ready for marriage, since marriage takes compromise. How is me giving up my identity and changing my title while Fi stays exactly the same and is undefined by marriage a compromise? People need to get with the times, eavery couple is different and every man and woman have a choice. Mini vent over.

salt78 · May 2010

I so wish I knew what his last name was that you hate it so much.

I like H's last name so I took it. The guy I dated before him though...his last name was MEGASUCK.

Not literally. It was just horrible.

J&K10910 · May 2010

If I dated someone with the last name of "Megasuck" I would have JOPed it the second I could get him drunk enough to agree. Jessica Megasuck has a nice ring to it. And then I could really capitalize on my internet porn career.

JennaV26 · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_new-name-not-q?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:3c508c7a-71f9-4321-a41e-25f6ff8d4049Post:72d7ceaa-b351-4b19-acd5-6cb76cbe26a1">Re: New name?! Not a Q!</a>:
[QUOTE]I had someone tell me once "If you're not thrilled to become Mrs. hislastname, you probably shouldn't be marrying him." Really?
Posted by J&K10910[/QUOTE]

Wow - agree to disagree! I did tell FI, however, that I get to choose our kid's first names since he got to choose their last names! I'll take it!

betrothed123 · May 2010

Hell yeah I'd jump at the chance to take the name MEGASUCK. Oh well, I guess I'll have to live with the one I took.

Tinkx123x · May 2010

I don't like my FI's last name either b/c it is SO common, and my last name also rocks, so i know how you feel. I think you'll probably just have to take his if he won't take yours! You could hypenate your last names, or use yours as a middle name if you wanted to?

J&K10910 · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_new-name-not-q?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:3c508c7a-71f9-4321-a41e-25f6ff8d4049Post:07a0e755-9533-4e55-b51c-157728db2b9b">Re: New name?! Not a Q!</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't like my FI's last name either b/c it is SO common, and my last name also rocks, so i know how you feel. <strong>I think you'll probably just have to take his if he won't take yours!</strong> You could hypenate your last names, or use yours as a middle name if you wanted to?
Posted by Tinkx123x[/QUOTE]

Not really.

SarahPLiz · May 2010

I am pretty indifferent to our last names. Mine is hard for people to pronounce correctly when they see it, and his is hard for people to spell correctly when they hear it. I will be forever spelling my last name either way we go, but I'm used to that already.

That would suck, though, if I hated his last name, or if his last name was as uncommon as his first name. Yeah, we won't have any Jr.s running around for sure.

JennaV26 · May 2010

We went to a restaurant the other weekend and when they asked for the name I gave his last name. The hostess was like "What? Can you spell that?" and it's like I saw my future flash before my eyes!

But I'm going to take it, maybe pronounce it a little differently though so I can take out a syllable!!

MeaghanandMichael · May 2010

Star - not sure

I mean, it does not have the connotations of yours, but it is more just ugly as fuuck. I think your is awesome though!

abbiewebster · May 2010

i always planned on keeping my last name ALWAYS and my fi is so passionate about me taking his because of tradition...so we comprimised and im double barrelling....although you girls think your fis lastnames are bad,,, there not myfis last name couldnt be worse......even double barrelling it doesnt cover it up

but im just gunna have to deal with it...what bothers memore is my children.....they dont have a choice in the matter, he is the only boy and refused to double barrelll the kids..im still working on it...otherwise i have to deal with the fact that my kids WILL at one point be picked on because of their last name.....

arrrrr the joys of being a woman

L-Bride · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_new-name-not-q?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:3c508c7a-71f9-4321-a41e-25f6ff8d4049Post:ef72864c-05f1-49e4-b08b-cf8f628fbfd5">Re: New name?! Not a Q!</a>:
[QUOTE]Yes, I was called a femi-nazi. He also said my fiance was "whipped" for being willing to go along with it.
Posted by JoyTate1[/QUOTE]

I think it's insane how people spin feminism into something negative. Ignorant morons.

Starmusica · May 2010

meag- yea my name is definitely rough. its actually not the original name. Its what either my great grandfather or customs chose when he immigrated here. So either he had no idea... or more likely, customs sucked. The original name is much less shocking and much prettier. but still. my new name will not be nearly as fun. I get a sick enjoyment over watching people struggle with my name. i figure..if I didnt laugh about it Id kill someone.

AllenBaker · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_new-name-not-q?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:3c508c7a-71f9-4321-a41e-25f6ff8d4049Post:eaafce05-bf14-4cde-9673-a7326b496274">Re: New name?! Not a Q!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: New name?! Not a Q! : I think it's insane how people spin feminism into something negative. Ignorant morons.
Posted by L-Bride[/QUOTE]

Not to mention, it's not really much of a feminist statement. I mean, you still got your last name from your father,who got it from his father! It's a matter of personal belief and preference.

L-Bride · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_new-name-not-q?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:3c508c7a-71f9-4321-a41e-25f6ff8d4049Post:4a05883a-95df-4c5a-b88b-2b869cd0481f">Re: New name?! Not a Q!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: New name?! Not a Q! : Not to mention, it's not really much of a feminist statement. I mean, you still got your last name from your father,who got it from his father! It's a matter of personal belief and preference.
Posted by AllenBaker[/QUOTE]

Good point <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-smile.gif" border="0" alt="Smile" title="Smile" />

JennaV26 · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_new-name-not-q?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:3c508c7a-71f9-4321-a41e-25f6ff8d4049Post:4a05883a-95df-4c5a-b88b-2b869cd0481f">Re: New name?! Not a Q!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: New name?! Not a Q! : Not to mention, it's not really much of a feminist statement. I mean, you still got your last name from your father,who got it from his father! It's a matter of personal belief and preference.
Posted by AllenBaker[/QUOTE]

I agree with this! Especially since these days most women keep their names for professional reasons or because they simply don't like their H's name, not because anyone is trying to make a statement!

goheels05 · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_new-name-not-q?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:3c508c7a-71f9-4321-a41e-25f6ff8d4049Post:72d7ceaa-b351-4b19-acd5-6cb76cbe26a1">Re: New name?! Not a Q!</a>:
[QUOTE]I had someone tell me once "If you're not thrilled to become Mrs. hislastname, you probably shouldn't be marrying him." Really?
Posted by J&K10910[/QUOTE]

Huh. See, I always thought I broke up with Jon because he was a deadbeat giant bag of douche and I somehow knew he'd still be living with his mom at the age of 30 if I didn't marry him. Turns out subconsciously, I just didn't want to be Mrs. Fish. Yep, that's right. I dated Jon Fish.

Brie2010 · May 2010

Meg, you do have it rough. At least it's pretty phonetic, so it's not like there's random z's and q's and shiit thrown in, though?

I got lucky. Mine is a total upgrade. I hated my maiden name for various reasons, but it's weird getting used to the new one.

OP, do what feels right. Don't take his name out of obligation, do it because you want to.

andy71781 · May 2010

As a feminist I must say that if my FI's name was not easier to pronounce than the m y last name (which I've never liked) I wouldn't be taking it. All of my friends are giving me crap about doing it. I feel like I'm being controversial.

side note - I start my new job in a couple of weeks. Instead of changing my name a month after I start work there they are going to call me Ms. W (new last name). Sooooo weird.

deepcovejackie · May 2010

I didn't take my first husband's name, because I didn't like his Dad, and that was his name. I have a fine, sturdy, easy to spell name that I'd be happy to keep, but...I love FI's last name. He has this awesome Belarusian name that sounds great with my first name. So, although I said I'd never change my name, I am. Never say never I guess!

New name?! Not a Q!

Re: New name?! Not a Q!

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