Is it rude to NOT have abar at all?

SaraAndrew2010 · December 2010

OP, I'm not sure what kind of responses you are looking for here. You asked if not having a bar was rude. You got a lot of answers that told you that it is perfectly acceptable to have a dry wedding, particularly in the afternoon. You also got honest advice that some guests may be disappointed there isn't alcohol and the party might not last as long.

None of these things are attacks. I don't know why you got so defensive We didn't say, "OMG, you are a horrible person if you don't have a full open bar all night." We simply explained what might happen if you choose not to serve alcohol. Please don't get so upset about the responses you got. No one started being rude to you until you got all self-righteous and started complaining about how rude people are if they want to drink at your wedding.

Calm down. Do what you want at your wedding.

Beachy730 · December 2010

OP- why are you acting like your only options are open bar, dry bar, or champagne on the tables? I've mentioned twice offering beer and wine to everyone, or just a signature drink. Both options are well below the cost of at traditional open bar. You are just being stubborn now that you won't even consider any other options.

But as a PP said your age and maturity level is making all of this a little clearer for me. Are you even of legal drinking age yet? I'm making an educated assumption from things you've said that you're definitely not, and likely won't be 18 months from now at your wedding. So yes there is a huge difference between college kids partying and adults handling themselves at a wedding. I knew plenty of college kids who wake up and crack a beer because they "can." And usually as with most underage kids they rarely if ever only have a few drinks, they drink to get hammered. Making your entire guest list deal with no bar because you have immature friends and want to take a good vacation is just immature, and completely fitting for your age.

Blueyed228 · December 2010

I was going to say "I guess its not the rudest thing in the world to do no bar. It kinda sucks, but its acceptable." But then I saw your response. You are coming off as very bratty and immature.

If the only thing you need to pay for is the bar and honeymoon, the right thing to do would be to do the bar instead of the honeymoon. If you cant manage to save enough money in the next year and a half to spring for a few kegs, or a few cases of wine, or a few cases of vodka for a signature drink, then Im not entirely sure you should be getting married. You can get a case of Two Buck Chuck wine at Trader Joes for super cheap.

You could also cut the guest list down, buy a cheaper gown, cut the flower budget, etc. That could save you the money for some kind of bar.

I agree with PP to skip the champagne. Its a waste of money.

FWIW: I did a 6 hour full open bar. No one got wasted or acted stupid. No one left early either.

I will also never understand why the bar is not factored into peoples original budgets.............

lyndausvi · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_rude-not-abar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:57f06a9f-7ead-42b3-b2ba-def6ee4fc4dePost:859e331c-d1d9-4898-8c8e-45f162ccdb70">Re: Is it rude to NOT have abar at all?</a>:
[QUOTE]. I will also never understand why the bar is not factored into peoples original budgets.............
Posted by Blueyed228[/QUOTE]

It's a foreign concept to me also. Maybe my family and circle are a bunch of alcoholics, but the bar is up there along with the dress and flowers in the budget. It's just something I would never have thought to remove. I might have to scale it back, but full removal ? No way. I would get rid of centerpieces before the bar.

aerinpegadrak · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_rude-not-abar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:57f06a9f-7ead-42b3-b2ba-def6ee4fc4dePost:3dc1a419-ddbb-4717-8858-4c132d77015c">Re: Is it rude to NOT have abar at all?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Is it rude to NOT have abar at all? : It's a foreign concept to me also. Maybe my family and circle are a bunch of alcoholics, but the bar is up there along with the dress and flowers in the budget. It's just something I would never have thought to remove. I might have to scale it back, but full removal ? No way. I would get rid of centerpieces before the bar.
Posted by lyndausvi[/QUOTE]
We could just barely afford the food package from our first choice venue, but not the bar, even limiting it. We'd been hoping for a discount, but it just didn't happen, so we passed. Our price quote from the caterer we ended up with included the bar package from the get go. I don't know why people seem so blind-sided by the bar costs...

lyndausvi · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_rude-not-abar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:57f06a9f-7ead-42b3-b2ba-def6ee4fc4dePost:759115dc-a510-4202-832e-8f855a1bc439">Re: Is it rude to NOT have abar at all?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Is it rude to NOT have abar at all? : We could just barely afford the food package from our first choice venue, but not the bar, even limiting it. We'd been hoping for a discount, but it just didn't happen, so we passed. Our price quote from the caterer we ended up with included the bar package from the get go. I don't know why people seem so blind-sided by the bar costs...
Posted by aerinpegadrak[/QUOTE]

Actually I'm not blinded by bar costs. Just in our circle we find a venue to fits our budget. If that means a less desirable venue and/or cutting the guest list, then that what it means.

Open bars are not a new thing (at least not in my circle. My grandmother got married in 1930 and she had one, as did everyone else in my family since. What has changed is the brides desire to have the prefect venue. Firehalls and church halls were acceptable places to have receptions. Now people seem to think they are not good enough and focus on other places which tend to be more expensive.

aerinpegadrak · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_rude-not-abar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:57f06a9f-7ead-42b3-b2ba-def6ee4fc4dePost:326b2f3a-8266-4408-b584-db5ca73a95ea">Re: Is it rude to NOT have abar at all?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Is it rude to NOT have abar at all? : Actually I'm not blinded by bar costs. Just in our circle we find a venue to fits our budget. If that means a less desirable venue and/or cutting the guest list, then that what it means. Open bars are not a new thing (at least not in my circle. My grandmother got married in 1930 and she had one, as did everyone else in my family since. What has changed is the brides desire to have the prefect venue. Firehalls and church halls were acceptable places to have receptions. Now people seem to think they are not good enough and focus on other places which tend to be more expensive.
Posted by lyndausvi[/QUOTE]
Oh I know, not you. I was agreeing with you and the other PP.

Beachy730 · December 2010

People definitely just have different priorities when it comes to planning their wedding. We wanted our wedding to be a great night that everyone had a lot of fun. We never even considered not doing an open bar, and we made sure we picked a venue that had hotels within walking distance.

There is nothing wrong with hosting the wedding you can afford, even if that includes a dry wedding. But if I were at a wedding that had no bar, but then I knew the B&G were going on an all inclusive honeymoon somewhere I would be pretty annoyed. Same as if the bride is wearing a dress that costs $5,000 and I'm eating meatloaf. Brides who are on a budget still need to host their guests properly, and that means cutting costs all around. Choosing you spend your money on a honeymoon over graciously hosting your guests is selfish IMO. I didn't even go on a honeymoon so I don't want to hear how its so important to have a great honeymoon.

Blueyed228 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_rude-not-abar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:57f06a9f-7ead-42b3-b2ba-def6ee4fc4dePost:b410fa7e-c56d-4a11-a427-6ff7a09b5e50">Re: Is it rude to NOT have abar at all?</a>:
[QUOTE]People definitely just have different priorities when it comes to planning their wedding. We wanted our wedding to be a great night that everyone had a lot of fun. We never even considered not doing an open bar, and we made sure we picked a venue that had hotels within walking distance. There is nothing wrong with hosting the wedding you can afford, even if that includes a dry wedding. But if I were at a wedding that had no bar, but then I knew the B&G were going on an all inclusive honeymoon somewhere I would be pretty annoyed. Same as if the bride is wearing a dress that costs $5,000 and I'm eating meatloaf. Brides who are on a budget still need to host their guests properly, and that means cutting costs all around. Choosing you spend your money on a honeymoon over graciously hosting your guests is selfish IMO. I didn't even go on a honeymoon so I don't want to hear how its so important to have a great honeymoon.
Posted by dnbeach12[/QUOTE]

Agreed.

What i was trying to say is that if you have chosen a fancy venue and dress, got a rolls for you car, etc and then went crying poor mouth when it came to the bar, I am going to side-eye you.

Having a bar was always factored into our budget from the beginning. I just tend to notice that the girls who come on complaining about not wanting a hosted bar are most of the time girls who never thought about the bar from the get go.

My thoughts are that it should be factored in with venue and food, not somewhere at the end with favors and programs. Especially if you are stomping you feet because you want a fancy honeymoon.

Blueyed228 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_rude-not-abar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:57f06a9f-7ead-42b3-b2ba-def6ee4fc4dePost:b0944086-b5b8-4a50-9cd5-9580e967fca3">Re: Is it rude to NOT have abar at all?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Is it rude to NOT have abar at all? : I think that your reasoning is pretty narrow-minded. Are you saying if the B&G are having their reception in a venue that is meaningful to them but doesn't allow alcohol, then they shouldn't spend that money elsewhere? Or that B&G's who have a moral or religious opposition to alcohol should not be allowed to have as nice of a wedding<u><strong>? I understand where you are coming from, but you are operating under the assumption that every dry wedding is just to save money and every person feels the same way about alcohol as you do. Personally, we would have preferred alcohol at our wedding, but our venue wouldn't allow it. Since our venue cost us $50 and the next available venue was $2000 plus table/chair/linen rentals, that was a bigger budget difference than we could afford. We didn't spend the $300 we saved from alcohol on our honeymoon, but we DID go on a honeymoon. The honeymoon also cost less than the difference in venues and was half paid for by my grandfather. However, had you attended our wedding, you would have been at a dry reception and would have heard that we were going on a HM, and would have apparently thought pretty badly of us, without having a clue about how the wedding finances actually broke down.
</strong></u>Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

She didnt say that at all. OP said her parents are paying for everything except the bar and honeymoon and that she would rather have a dry wedding than not go on her honeymoon.

If i was at your dry wedding and found out that it was dry because you spent the 3K you saved (OP said that is what her budget for HM and bar is) on your HM, then I will think you are a selfish brat.

Beachy730 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_rude-not-abar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:57f06a9f-7ead-42b3-b2ba-def6ee4fc4dePost:bfc7fa7b-7c4c-4659-8162-d3b8ff4e4523">Re: Is it rude to NOT have abar at all?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Is it rude to NOT have abar at all? : She didnt say that at all. OP said her parents are paying for everything except the bar and honeymoon and that she would rather have a dry wedding than not go on her honeymoon. If i was at your dry wedding and found out that it was dry because you spent the 3K you saved (OP said that is what her budget for HM and bar is) on your HM, then I will think you are a selfish brat.
Posted by Blueyed228[/QUOTE]

<div>Yes, this is what I meant Stage.</div><div>
</div><div>I think it's fine if you have a dry wedding. I personally wouldn't stay til the end, and would probably complain a couple times to H that I could really go for a drink, but it's everyone's choice. It's completely different if your venue doesn't allow alcohol, or its just not in your budget. As blueyed pointed out, the OP said her parents are basically paying for everything except the bar and the honeymoon, so they are choosing instead to put the money towards the honeymoon. Her reasoning against the bar is that she has a friend that got really drunk once and threw up in her living room and accused her of cheating on her FI (or something like that ). So she is using that as her reasoning of no bar. </div><div>
</div><div>Dry receptions are okay for numerous reasons, whether they are religious or financial. But I honestly hate the reasoning that "I don't drink so I'm not paying for other people to drink." I don't like salmon but we had it as a choice for our guests because many people do like it, and I wanted to graciously host our guests. I don't think you should not go on a honeymoon just to pay for a bar, just like you should not buy a dress you hate just to save money. But in general if I know you spent tons of money on a dress and/or honeymoon then served bad food and had no bar, I would definitely be giving you the side-eye. Also, there would definitely be a difference in your venue not allowing alcohol and you just not serving it. Personally an open bar was important to us, so we made sure to have that. But it's different for everyone, and like I said everyone has different priorities to them when planning a wedding.</div>

aerinpegadrak · December 2010

I think it's also usually pretty clear to the guests when they're in a venue that won't permit alcohol, because those are usually places like churches and schools where that restriction is kind of to be expected. Likewise, if the entire wedding is pretty clearly low-budget, limiting or skipping the bar goes along with that, no one's going to be really surprised or offended.

Stage, looking at your bio, I don't think anyone could presume that your reasons for a dry reception are the same as the OP's, and I think that most guests are savvy enough to be able to figure out in context of both the party and their relationship with the couple why the alcohol's missing.

Beachy730 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_rude-not-abar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:57f06a9f-7ead-42b3-b2ba-def6ee4fc4dePost:fefcb900-d9bd-4684-adf5-ffa99841ace4">Re: Is it rude to NOT have abar at all?</a>:
[QUOTE]I think it's also usually pretty clear to the guests when they're in a venue that won't permit alcohol, because those are usually places like churches and schools where that restriction is kind of to be expected. Likewise, if the entire wedding is pretty clearly low-budget, limiting or skipping the bar goes along with that, no one's going to be really surprised or offended. Stage, looking at your bio, I don't think anyone could presume that your reasons for a dry reception are the same as the OP's, and I think that most guests are savvy enough to be able to figure out in context of both the party and their relationship with the couple why the alcohol's missing.
Posted by aerinpegadrak[/QUOTE]

<div>After reading this I went and stalked your bio Stage. And Aerin is exactly right. Your reasons for no alcohol are not at all like OP's, and you were in a setting where it wasn't even allowed. Plus you spread the savings and cuts into all aspects of the wedding, not just one area. Your wedding is a perfect example of how to properly plan on a budget and how to work with what you have. Definitely not at all the reasons OP is giving for not having a bar.</div>

alexislamb007 · December 2010

I'm probably repeating what's been said above, but here goes.

If it really means a lot to the bride to have a dry wedding, then have a dry wedding. It really means a lot to me to walk down the aisle to an instrumental piano version of Don't Stop Believing, recess to a piano version of the Star Wars theme and have the first dance to Jamiroquai's Canned Heat (the dance song from Napoleon Dynamite). I know there will be some people giving us the stink eye for this, but they can suck it.

However, a wedding is a party and you have an obligation to be a good host. Warn your guests about the lack of alcohol at the wedding and lack of alcohol in general in Amish country. That way, people can bring their own booze and host their own non-dry get togethers. I could easily have some degree of fun at a dry afternoon wedding as long as the couple was cool with me bringing a case of my favorite wine (and having other guests do the same) for an unofficial after-party. Also, research the destination beforehand and scout out some bars where people can celebrate with alcohol if they were so inclined. Have this information about the destination in the invitation.

And what's wrong with mocktails? There are plenty of delicious and non-alcoholic drinks which are crowd-pleasers. There are some great nonalcoholic sparkling ciders which can take the place of champagne and will be much cheaper than champagne.

Bottom line - people like to celebrate with alcohol. If you're not providing booze at your reception (which is OK), at least (1) let people know this and (2) point them to places where they can celebrate the happy occasion with alcohol if they so want.

angruz · December 2010

Doesn't sound like much of a party to me. Why would you pay for a DJ if you aren't even going to have drinks? Who would want to dance without any drinks? Most people will not dance or stay very long without an open bar.

Skimp out somewhere else, maybe invite less people or change the food menu. Or if you can't afford an open bar and a honeymoon, wait to get married until you can.

You want people to come from out of town, get a new outfit for your wedding, arrange transportation, get you a shower and wedding gift. The LEAST you can do is provide drinks.

Beachy730 · December 2010

NBD Stage. I saw that you said you didn't read all of the comments anyways, so you wouldn't have known what the OP had said about her reasonings and whatnot. Like I said before, I definitely prefer a bar, or unlimited beer and wine at least, but I completely understand when people have dry weddings for certain reasons. But I don't dance without drinking, so I would definitely be leaving soon after dinner and the dances and the other wedding things.

Enami · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_rude-not-abar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:57f06a9f-7ead-42b3-b2ba-def6ee4fc4dePost:08f98ed1-ecb8-4d37-8d25-d1a700838bdf">Re: Is it rude to NOT have abar at all?</a>:
[QUOTE]I've mentioned twice offering beer and wine to everyone, or just a signature drink.[/QUOTE]
If you'd read some of my later comments, you'd see I said wine and champagne on the tables. So, yeah, we're up for wine.

[QUOTE]But as a PP said your age and maturity level is making all of this a little clearer for me. Are you even of legal drinking age yet? I'm making an educated assumption from things you've said that you're definitely not, and likely won't be 18 months from now at your wedding.[/QUOTE]
I'll be 22 in April. Sorry about that. And the majority of the guest list is older, though many will still be in their mid-twenties.

[QUOTE]Making your entire guest list deal with no bar because you have immature friends and want to take a good vacation is just immature, and completely fitting for your age.
Posted by dnbeach12[/QUOTE]

Honeymoon=Yes!-We-Finally-Graduated-College Trip. Sorry if we'd like to spend a week celebrating these two awesome events camping and hiking. Yeah, we do seem to have some socially inept friends.

Enami · December 2010

Also, dnb, the entire budget is 3K, not just what we are paying. And if you read my later comments, it will definitely be more than just a honeymoon and bar. My FI doesn't drink, his family doesn't drink. I don't want to be responsible for our friends and my family that will be drunk, legally or otherwise. We've figured the wine and champagne for a couple of drinks per adult into our budget, more than that is getting drunk, IMO. I would rather give them good food and music at a nice place than skimp on all that so they can get in the mood.

AprilDBradshaw · December 2010

Geez after all the posts that this thread has attracted, it's amazing you're still replying to all of these jerks.

You're certainly not spoiled or stupid, or anything like that. I know how you feel--poor, but getting married anyway! My fiance and I are almost in the same position and it's not easy. I'm sure more than one person that we know has whispered and wondered why the heck we're still getting married when we can barely afford it. Well, first we started planning it and setting the date and things before an economic downturn between he and I got REALLY nasty, and otherwise--because we WANT to! Nobody gets to tell you or me or our fiances when to get married or how! Remember, nobody can make you feel bad without your permission.

A dry wedding is just fine, no matter what time of day the reception is. The only reason why we're having one is because it's a cash bar for our guests and our venue provides it. Otherwise--if we were having our own created reception like in the back yard or something--we probably wouldn't have much in the way of alcohol, if any. It's definitely smarter to save that kind of money for your honeymoon. In fact, I've been told multiple times by people we should just skip the wedding, go to vegas, then go on the honeymoon without a second thought to anyone. Since I want a real wedding and I wanted to share it with friends and family, that was out of the question. Some people just think that weddings are stupid and pointless money wasters. I disagree. It might be a steep price, especially if you aren't careful or thrifty like us, but you'll have the memories from it for the rest of your life. Is that such a bad thing? I'd rather all the memories of my wedding and reception with friends and family instead of a vegas chapel with elvis!

If you're worried about people leaving early, maybe you can make some adjustments to your reception to make it more interesting for guests? Activities? Like some people do a photo booth--I've never really understood the fun in that, but some people go for that. Try googling some interesting and fun reception activities or conversation starters and things like that. They could get people talking and mingling.

Good luck and keep your chin up! No matter what you post or where you post it on the internet, people are merciless.

Take care.

Blueyed228 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_rude-not-abar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:57f06a9f-7ead-42b3-b2ba-def6ee4fc4dePost:0ff29e8d-2d96-488e-b96f-20adde98f95b">Re: Is it rude to NOT have abar at all?</a>:
[QUOTE]Geez after all the posts that this thread has attracted, it's amazing you're still replying to all of these jerks. You're certainly not spoiled or stupid, or anything like that. I know how you feel--poor, but getting married anyway! My fiance and I are almost in the same position and it's not easy. I'm sure more than one person that we know has whispered and wondered why the heck we're still getting married when we can barely afford it. Well, first we started planning it and setting the date and things before an economic downturn between he and I got REALLY nasty, and otherwise--because we WANT to! Nobody gets to tell you or me or our fiances when to get married or how! Remember, nobody can make you feel bad without your permission. A dry wedding is just fine, no matter what time of day the reception is. The only reason why we're having one is because it's a cash bar for our guests and our venue provides it. Otherwise--if we were having our own created reception like in the back yard or something--we probably wouldn't have much in the way of alcohol, if any. <strong><u>It's definitely smarter to save that kind of money for your honeymoon</u></strong>. In fact, I've been told multiple times by people we should just skip the wedding, go to vegas, then go on the honeymoon without a second thought to anyone. Since<strong><u> I want a real wedding</u></strong> and I wanted to share it with friends and family, that was out of the question. Some people just think that weddings are stupid and pointless money wasters. I disagree. It might be a steep price, especially if you aren't careful or thrifty like us, but you'll have the memories from it for the rest of your life. Is that such a bad thing? I'd rather all the memories of my wedding and reception with friends and family instead of a vegas chapel with elvis! If you're worried about people leaving early, maybe you can make some adjustments to your reception to make it more interesting for guests?<strong><u> Activities?</u></strong> Like some people do a photo booth--I've never really understood the fun in that, but some people go for that. Try googling some interesting and fun reception activities or conversation starters and things like that. They could get people talking and mingling. Good luck and keep your chin up! No matter what you post or where you post it on the internet, people are merciless. Take care.
Posted by AprilDBradshaw[/QUOTE]

That is terrible advice. For many reasons.

For you to tell her to take money that should be spent on being a good host to her guests just so she can have her super special honeymoon is gross.

How is a Vegas wedding not a real wedding? The only thing that makes your wedding real is the marriage license.

You think she should waste money that could be spent on alcohol and do activities? If I wanted to play games I would stay home and do so.

People on here gave OP great advice. From the sound of your posts, you should probably take some of it too.

Blueyed228 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_rude-not-abar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:57f06a9f-7ead-42b3-b2ba-def6ee4fc4dePost:51ccbf91-4f9e-4ee6-ad1f-2a07d0cf820e">Re: Is it rude to NOT have abar at all?</a>:
[QUOTE]Also, dnb, the entire budget is 3K, not just what we are paying. And if you read my later comments, it will definitely be more than just a honeymoon and bar. My FI doesn't drink, his family doesn't drink. I don't want to be responsible for our friends and my family that will be drunk, legally or otherwise. We've figured the wine and champagne for a couple of drinks per adult into our budget,<strong><u> more than that is getting drunk, IMO</u></strong>. I would rather give them good food and music at a nice place than skimp on all that so they can get in the mood.
Posted by Enami[/QUOTE]

I had a full open bar all night and no one got drunk. You are reaching for excuses by saying over and over that you dont want to be "responsible" for them. You have been told over and over that you are not, the venue is.

nda_roxybabe · December 2010

I think it's totally fin e to have a dry wedding but you need to REALISTIC and realize people will not stay as long without alcohol. You can't get upset about that because it's the truth. If you're fine with that then great. If you're not, oh well.

aerinpegadrak · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_rude-not-abar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:57f06a9f-7ead-42b3-b2ba-def6ee4fc4dePost:0ff29e8d-2d96-488e-b96f-20adde98f95b">Re: Is it rude to NOT have abar at all?</a>:
[QUOTE]Geez after all the posts that this thread has attracted, it's amazing you're still replying to all of these jerks. You're certainly not spoiled or stupid, or anything like that. I know how you feel--poor, but getting married anyway! My fiance and I are almost in the same position and it's not easy. I'm sure more than one person that we know has whispered and wondered why the heck we're still getting married when we can barely afford it. Well, first we started planning it and setting the date and things before an economic downturn between he and I got REALLY nasty, and otherwise--because we WANT to! Nobody gets to tell you or me or our fiances when to get married or how! Remember, nobody can make you feel bad without your permission. A dry wedding is just fine, no matter what time of day the reception is. The only reason why we're having one is because it's a cash bar for our guests and our venue provides it. Otherwise--if we were having our own created reception like in the back yard or something--we probably wouldn't have much in the way of alcohol, if any. It's definitely smarter to save that kind of money for your honeymoon. In fact, I've been told multiple times by people we should just skip the wedding, go to vegas, then go on the honeymoon without a second thought to anyone. Since I want a real wedding and I wanted to share it with friends and family, that was out of the question. Some people just think that weddings are stupid and pointless money wasters. I disagree. It might be a steep price, especially if you aren't careful or thrifty like us, but you'll have the memories from it for the rest of your life. Is that such a bad thing? I'd rather all the memories of my wedding and reception with friends and family instead of a vegas chapel with elvis! If you're worried about people leaving early, maybe you can make some adjustments to your reception to make it more interesting for guests? Activities? Like some people do a photo booth--I've never really understood the fun in that, but some people go for that. Try googling some interesting and fun reception activities or conversation starters and things like that. They could get people talking and mingling. Good luck and keep your chin up! No matter what you post or where you post it on the internet, people are merciless. Take care.
Posted by AprilDBradshaw[/QUOTE]
Considering that I had a very real wedding in Las Vegas, the only jerk I see on this thread is you.

aerinpegadrak · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_rude-not-abar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:57f06a9f-7ead-42b3-b2ba-def6ee4fc4dePost:035c64a2-240e-4791-8e04-659b9477375e">Re: Is it rude to NOT have abar at all?</a>:
[QUOTE]I am aware you can have a "real" wedding in Vegas in some extremely beautiful venues. And I know that YOU know I meant the cheap wedding chapels, because that's what people mean when they tell you to do it the cheap way. It would be just as expensive to have a real wedding in vegas as real one anywhere else. Don't assume everyone's an idiot.
Posted by AprilDBradshaw[/QUOTE]
Nothing in any of your posts thus far has given me reason to believe otherwise. You specifically said, "I don't want to go to Vegas, I want a real wedding." How the hell else is someone supposed to take that? Try thinking before you type next time.

Is it rude to NOT have abar at all?

Re: Is it rude to NOT have abar at all?

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