I asked a simple question on the etiquette board about posting a suggested attire list on my wedding website so people could know without calling. I have seen articles on other wedding sites about this and needed wording suggestions because I thought it was appropriate; I didn't know any different. (Apparently it's unheard of on here.) I was not saying that that is what they had to wear but I got yelled at because my wedding was not "formal". I was not making any requirements. I merely wanted to give people an idea because I always feel bad calling people to ask as a guest.
I am not having "formal" food at the wedding because no one here will eat it. I like steak but don't eat chicken. FI is the opposite, so we decided on something we both like, tacos/mexican. Nobody hear would eat anything too fancy because they wouldn't recognize it. We are having it buffet style to make sure people get what they want because I can't even keep track of dietary needs for everyone anyore.
Everything else for the wedding is very nice. Proper plates, silverware, table cloths, large centerpieces, NOT putting out a card box(that seems annoying to people who did not bring a card/gift IMO.), nice/fun favors, classy music for during dinner, red velvet cake, and a dance area, I thought my invitations were fancier for what I have seen where I live. (I live in a very rural area, had no real choice as to the time of my wedding since it's on a holiday weekend and in a church with time limits year round.) The bridesmaids are wearing tea length dresses and the groomsmen will be wearing tuxedos. We are doing things differently and want people to have fun. We just don't want people to feel out of place if they come underdressed. The people have the clothes so they don't have to buy anything new. The whole reason for my question was to find a way to let people know since I will not see many of the people, nor will my family members.
Do I really deserve to be yelled at for what I thought was correct, criticized for what I want, and called weird? I think it is really hurtful that people say it's your day and you can have what you want and then turn around and call you weird when you do. I do not want a textbook wedding but I also want it to be pretty and people to be comfortable.
No, I don't really want my uncles showing up in crazy clothes, but I can't help it. I get it, but I do want the people who are genuinely wondering to have a way to find out quickly. I wasn't even disputing that I could not tell people what to wear by the end of it. I was more upset that they were pretty well criticizing what I thought was a nice wedding. I guess I just need some friends right now and that's what you ladies have always been when I have a question. Thank you and any encouraging words would be nice.
I would believe only in a God that knows how to dance. ~Friedrich Nietzsche