Do I need a theme?

Goldlie11 · December 2009

Yesterday, my MOH asked me what my theme was. I told her I didn't have one. She was horrified.

FI and I are taking 20ish people with us to City Hall, taking some photos after, then taking everyone to lunch. That's it. Why would I need a theme? Both City Hall and the restaurant will be decorated however they are normally. I guess I could see about some centerpieces on the tables, but that's not a theme either. Please help me, I'm confused.

anna.oskar · December 2009

Nope, you don't need a god awful theme.

If anyone asks you what your theme is, just say, "wedding".

Goldlie11 · December 2009

Thanks. I also have no color scheme (which was upsetting to her too). I told her she can wear whatever color she wants. I assumed that themes and wedding colors were for more traditional weddings.

sucrets4 · December 2009

Themes are pretty lame in general. I picked colors for our wedding, but I didn't really care when my flower girl wanted a lavender dress because she likes purple. Whatev.

Your wedding sounds like it will be lovely and you won't be any less married without a theme or colors.

carrieoz_76 · December 2009

Some ppl just have really outdated ideas of what "needs" to happen in a wedding. My mom, for example, was horrified when I off-handedly mentioned that I didn't know if I wanted to wear a veil. People also like to ask about colors and themes sometimes because it's an entry to talking wedding stuff with you. Just talk instead about what you are doing instead of what you aren't.

A theme isn't necessary for any wedding, traditional or not.

beatlesgirl25 · December 2009

You really do not need a theme, especially with the type of wedding you're having. It sounds sweet and simple, in a good way.

p.s. Hi Carrieoz! I feel like I haven't seen you on here in awhile. Hope you had a good Christmas!

mocha beans · December 2009

Agreed, no theme necessary. It will come together much more beautifully and organically if you go with things you like that look good together, rather than being boxed into some idea of everything having to be part of a theme.

If anything, tell her your theme is city chic.

My mom also almost had a coronary when I suggested wearing colorful shoes and not wearing a bridal hat or veil. I don't know if you can even get a bridal hat, but there is no way I'd wear one. People get stuck in an idea of what a wedding has to have because it's what they did or a bunch of other people they know did.

ExpatPumpkin · December 2009

Our reception was formal and pretty elaborate, and it definitely had a theme: wedding

What you're planning sounds lovely... You may decide that you do want to incorporate some of the elements of a formal wedding, however, and have fun doing so. Then your theme of "wedding" will be more apparent... You could choose a few colors that you like and do some of the following:

- menus (assuming you set up choices with the restaurant)

- escort cards

- centerpieces

- favors

- invites

- whatever else you like...

I had a lot of fun with those elements of my wedding, and you may find that you really enjoy it. And it doesn't have to be expensive. Good luck

carrieoz_76 · December 2009

BG - Hi back! I've been randomly lurking but too busy over the last few weeks to do much more. FI is sleeping, and I have a couple hrs until I meet OOT friends for lunch and BM dress shopping, so I figured I'd pop in and spout off about something.

Christmas was great, thanks for asking! I hope yours was as well.

OP - you'd be wise to listen to ExPat. If you haven't looked at her bio yet, you should. Her wedding was gorgeous!

salt78 · December 2009

Lame.

Goldlie11 · December 2009

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_need-theme?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c4537228-6eb8-41c4-ad6b-0174ac4cd9a1Post:d72b1bad-a93c-4e4e-8d79-306383cb3a2a">Re: Do I need a theme?</a>:
[QUOTE]Lame.
Posted by salt78[/QUOTE]
Every single time you respond to one of my posts, it's to say something rude. What exactly is your problem? Do you really behave like this in real life? If you think my post is lame, why bother to respond?

Goldlie11 · December 2009

To all others, thanks a lot the ideas and advice. I do plan to incorporate some more traditional wedding elements like favors, invitations, and possibly centerpieces. I just don't know if that means a real "theme".

salt78 · December 2009

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_need-theme?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c4537228-6eb8-41c4-ad6b-0174ac4cd9a1Post:68b36858-88ed-46a3-9e25-e629ef06b3bb">Re: Do I need a theme?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Do I need a theme? : Every single time you respond to one of my posts, it's to say something rude. What exactly is your problem? Do you really behave like this in real life? If you think my post is lame, why bother to respond?
Posted by Goldlie11[/QUOTE]

<div>Actually, although you do annoy the crap out of me, I was referring to the idea of a theme as lame. But way to jump to conclusions.</div><div>
</div><div>And PS: I can respond to your posts however I want as this is a public message board. Welcome to the internet.</div>

Goldlie11 · December 2009

How can someone you don't know annoy you? I guess it's annoying that I post questions about a wedding on a wedding board, right? I guess it's annoying that I don't go out of my way to say rude things to people all of the time.

And what exactly am I to assume from a one word answer like, "lame", especially since I've noticed that all of your posts towards me are rude or negative? If you meant the comment that my MOH made was lame, you should have been clearer in your writing.

I'm not going to waste anymore time on you. I appreciate the help I've already received from others.

salt78 · December 2009

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_need-theme?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c4537228-6eb8-41c4-ad6b-0174ac4cd9a1Post:bae82ab6-8e6d-450a-ab54-2aac7bdeea21">Re: Do I need a theme?</a>:
[QUOTE]If you meant the comment that my MOH made was lame, you should have been clearer in your writing.
Posted by Goldlie11[/QUOTE]

<div>Oh please. </div><div>
</div><div>And I've found your posts irritating ever since you were on NEY. I was afraid that when you got engaged you would come over here. This is not a recent development. </div>

sucrets4 · December 2009

Honestly, Salt is usually pretty direct and to the point. Having been around here awhile, I knew that her response was directed to the idea and not to you.

Things seem less personal once you lurk and get to know people around here.

salt78 · December 2009

Hi Sucrets!!!

I hope you had a lovely holiday yesterday!

sucrets4 · December 2009

I did, I did! And I get to see my cousin's new baby and other pg cousin in a few hours today and tomorrow my bro, sil and their 3 kids arrive. I'm excited!

Plus, I'm feeling the baby move a lot now.

How was your holiday, chiquita?

SarahSmile23 · December 2009

i didn't have a theme. i didn't even pick colors. i let my girls pick a dress they wanted in whatever color they agreed upon and i chose light pink and white flowers so they would go with everything. they all wanted to wear the same dress and they picked purple. i was hoping for blue or green, but whatever. i went with it. the month before the wedding, i decided to mix in some purple linens because i noticed the venue had some that matched the dresses. that was cool. i didn't go into it deliberately trying to have themes and colors, though. i just primarily picked out things that were ivory and would go with anything.

for your girls, i'd give them some kind of guidance. can you tell them they can wear any black dresses?

salt78 · December 2009

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_need-theme?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c4537228-6eb8-41c4-ad6b-0174ac4cd9a1Post:e1f983c7-89c1-4cfb-bac1-3b4290bb2c60">Re: Do I need a theme?</a>:
[QUOTE]I did, I did! And I get to see my cousin's new baby and other pg cousin in a few hours today and tomorrow my bro, sil and their 3 kids arrive. I'm excited! Plus, I'm feeling the baby move a lot now. :) How was your holiday, chiquita?
Posted by sucrets4[/QUOTE]

<div>Oh I'm so glad! That is so cool that you can feel baby moving! Yay babies! </div><div>I was having serious baby fever yesterday. 2 of my nephews are 11 months and 7 months. I was ready to steal the 7 month old. Somehow I don't think FSIL would have minded. We had a really wonderful day, thank you for asking. :)</div><div>
</div><div>You find out the sex like next week don't you?? I'm so excited!</div><div>
</div><div>
</div>

sucrets4 · December 2009

Jan 5th!! It was supposed to be the 29th, but we won't be in town. I can't believe we can find out so soon. I still can't believe there's something in there, nevertheless is has organs that determine the gender. I still feel fat and not pg.

We met up with our friends and their 4 month old the other day. He is soooo freakin' cute. B was adorable holding him.

Alright, I need to go find some food.

Goldlie11 · December 2009

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_need-theme?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c4537228-6eb8-41c4-ad6b-0174ac4cd9a1Post:6e423e03-9489-450b-a35e-644e39999d16">Re: Do I need a theme?</a>:
[QUOTE]i didn't have a theme. i didn't even pick colors. i let my girls pick a dress they wanted in whatever color they agreed upon and i chose light pink and white flowers so they would go with everything. they all wanted to wear the same dress and they picked purple. i was hoping for blue or green, but whatever. i went with it. the month before the wedding, i decided to mix in some purple linens because i noticed the venue had some that matched the dresses. that was cool. i didn't go into it deliberately trying to have themes and colors, though. i just primarily picked out things that were ivory and would go with anything. for your girls, i'd give them some kind of guidance. <strong>can you tell them they can wear any black dresses</strong>?
Posted by SarahSmile23[/QUOTE]<div>That's a good idea to ask her to wear a black dress. City Hall NYC has 2 different chapels, one that is purple and one that is peachy. I'll going to stick to an ivory dress and ivory/white flowers. So, the black would probably be best so she won't clash. </div><div>
</div>

Goldlie11 · December 2009

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_need-theme?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c4537228-6eb8-41c4-ad6b-0174ac4cd9a1Post:639014bc-f306-46e1-ad39-60881e2cc7c8">Re: Do I need a theme?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Do I need a theme? <strong>: Oh please. And I've found your posts irritating ever since you were on NEY. I was afraid that when you got engaged you would come over here. This is not a recent development.</strong>
Posted by salt78[/QUOTE]
When I first read this, I was slightly offended. But to be fair, a little while ago, I reread some of my older NEY and I too found them kind of annoying. I do stress of over things that don't really matter too much. Oh well, we all have faults. I have tried to tone it down, though.<div>
</div><div>Still, I will continue to post on E. Most of my friends and family are unmarried or were married a long time ago, so they can offer little help. I find the advice here very helpful. Sorry to disappoint you. </div>

SarahSmile23 · December 2009

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_need-theme?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:c4537228-6eb8-41c4-ad6b-0174ac4cd9a1Post:7a15d9d8-2aca-415f-bd65-c1d6ddec5a73">Re: Do I need a theme?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Do I need a theme? : Oh I'm so glad! That is so cool that you can feel baby moving! Yay babies! I was having serious baby fever yesterday. 2 of my nephews are 11 months and 7 months. I was ready to steal the 7 month old. Somehow I don't think FSIL would have minded. We had a really wonderful day, thank you for asking. :) You find out the sex like next week don't you?? I'm so excited!
Posted by salt78[/QUOTE]

salt, i have major baby fever too!!! omg. it's bad.

before we got married, we didn't know if we want kids. now we want them badly!

[Deleted User] · December 2009

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_need-theme?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:c4537228-6eb8-41c4-ad6b-0174ac4cd9a1Post:089ebf18-e138-4007-92a1-a4ad19f5ae4a">Re: Do I need a theme?</a>:
[QUOTE] salt, i have major baby fever too!!! omg. it's bad.
Posted by SarahSmile23[/QUOTE]

sorry to hear that! i hope it clears up soon.

thesuninherhead · December 2009

I'm curious as to what 'themes' one would have for a wedding? Wedding theme? Courthouse marriage theme? Circus theme?

Goldlie11 · December 2009

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_need-theme?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c4537228-6eb8-41c4-ad6b-0174ac4cd9a1Post:ef6f07be-76e4-4923-b801-12635d30351c">Re: Do I need a theme?</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm curious as to what 'themes' one would have for a wedding? Wedding theme? Courthouse marriage theme? Circus theme?
Posted by thesuninherhead[/QUOTE]
I'm still trying to figure it out. That's why I posted the question because I truly didn't have a clue as to what she was talking about.

SarahSmile23 · December 2009

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_need-theme?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:c4537228-6eb8-41c4-ad6b-0174ac4cd9a1Post:709af304-ff10-4d98-a7bd-76ab5be60c2e">Re: Do I need a theme?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Do I need a theme? : sorry to hear that! i hope it clears up soon.
Posted by daffodil_jill[/QUOTE]

i just laughed out loud and read this to my husband.

the screaming children in the grocery store tonight curbed my desire a bit.

Do I need a theme?

Re: Do I need a theme?

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