Help with OOT guests!

annraj · March 2010

I’m getting married in about a year (in Auckland, NZ, that’s where we live), and I have just started to plan our wedding. Here’s my situation: I am Swiss and my fiance is Sri Lankan. So there will be between 5-10 people arriving from Switzerland and maybe 5-10 more from Sri Lanka (all family and a couple friends). Plus my fiance’s best friends from the U.S. will be coming as well (about 4 or more). Most of them will arrive probably 1 week prior to the wedding and staying at a hotel (haven’t decided which one yet). Some of the people will help me finish my last DIY projects (desert table yummie) but we also wanna hang out with everyone because we’re very honoured that they would come from so far away to attend our wedding. But I know during that one week before the wedding there’s gonna be a lot going on and much to do so it’s not actually a “vacation” for the guests. But then after the wedding I really don’t know what to do. I don’t just want to leave for the honeymoon and leave everyone behind but I also don’t wanna postpone it because after all it IS a honeymoon.. What would you do about that? or do you know anyone that’s been in the same situation and how they handled it?

kmm2150 · March 2010

It sounds like you've got a nice-sized group of guests coming in, and I assume some locals as well to help out - surely not every minute will be packed with wedding chores. I would, as it gets closer, make a little itinerary for the week of things that need to be done, and suggested fun activities, places to eat, etc., and then distribute to people before hand (assuming these are people who are interested in helping with wedding chores - not really cool to force guest to make their own party favors). Try to make any chores fun and easy and remember that if you are asking people to do something for you for free, you can't get upset when it's not perfect (just a stress management tip). Involving food and/or drinks with any chores is also a plus - make everything feel like a social event, and try to plan fun stuff for guests to do even if you don't have time to join them.

stina93446 · March 2010

I would just do some research on what's in town that they can all do, or figure out a good sight seeing company.

BTW, just so you know

desert is arid and dry and filled with sand.

dessert is something you eat after dinner.

annraj · March 2010

thanks

well I wasn't planning on having everyone to make their favors. mainly my mom and my best friend will help me do that. I'm actually more worried about the week after the wedding. Should we stay back with them and spend more time with them or should we just leave for the honeymoon and don't care about everyone else..??

annraj · March 2010

haha sorry about that spelling mistake.. lol

mbcdefg · March 2010

I would personally hang around the day after, or even just until the afternoon, and have a brunch with them. If you booked a hotel block, they might even offer a free breakfast with the room rate so in that case you could just meet them in the hotel breakfast area and chat a while (rather than set up a whole event).

I don't think you should feel obligated to spend an entire week with them.

emilykathleen511 · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_oot-guests?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:f0fbe0bd-210c-40da-bdc4-5e95b90a3c4dPost:6f14b73f-9678-4c75-8c00-4488b18f1d9a">Re: Help with OOT guests!</a>:
[QUOTE]desert is arid and dry and filled with sand. <div>dessert is something you eat after dinner.
Posted by stina93446[/QUOTE]

</div><div>Ha. I always have remembered the difference by thinking that with dessert you want more, so you put more s's. Someone said that once when I was a kid and it just stuck.</div>

emilykathleen511 · March 2010

I guess I would stay for a while after entertaining guests, and then go on the honeymoon. To me, I will have an amazing time on the honeymoon, whether we leave immediately after the wedding or a week later. But, that is just me personally. I'm sure no one would hold it against you if you left right away on your honeymoon.

emilyinchile · March 2010

I just did this - from the US, live in Chile, got married here. DH and I both took two weeks off work (plus the day before the wedding) and asked people to get here two days before the wedding rather than so far in advance. If they'd arrived earlier, we wouldn't have had much time to hang out, but that gave us time in case flights got delayed. We stayed here for 5 days after the wedding to do touristy things and spend time with our guests and then went on our HM for 9 days - it was the perfect combination.

stina93446 · March 2010

I don't usually correct spelling mistakes even though they drive me batty, but desserts and deserts are SO different. C'mon, would you really want a big spoonful of sand?! I think not.

banana468 · March 2010

I'd stay for the day after to see guests and do your best to get as many DIY tasks done in advance so you can see your guests.

But I think every guest expects the newlyweds to take off on a honeymoon so enjoy!

stina93446 · March 2010

If you can afford it, maybe a sunday brunch to thank everyone again for making it out and helping you. We did one and it was fun. We were tired, but it was nice to see the guests again. And I am sure everyone was happy that we gave them another free meal.

emilyinchile · March 2010

I meant to add, there's no right way to do it. For us it was a case of wanting to see the people who'd come, not feeling like we had to stick around just for them. I would rather have cut my HM short by 5 days than only see my best friends in the world for a weekend when they live so far away, but I don't know how you feel about the people who're coming or how often you see them.

annraj · March 2010

i agree with you emily, I feel bad just rushing off. I'd like to spend time with them and show them around a bit. It costs them a lot anyways to fly to NZ and then the time difference is 12 hours so it always takes a while to get used to life downunder.. you have a good point. We can just spend about 4-5 days with them and do stuff and then just go on a cruise or something for the HM.

thanks ladies

lalap69 · March 2010

I really like the idea of doing a day-after brunch then leaving the day after. I think it's probably less stressful not to leave on your HM the very next day. If you are able though, I think it'd be really great if you could spend a couple more days with your guests since I imagine you don't get to see them very often.

aerinpegadrak · March 2010

We're doing a DW in Vegas. The wedding is Friday, we're sticking around until Wednesday. I know a lot of guests will be around through Sunday, so we're planning to hang out with people who are still in town, because our families are scattered and we don't get to see everyone very often. Once everyone leaves, we'll still have a full week to ourselves before we go back to work.

I would at least plan a brunch or something the morning after. It's nice to get to see everyone in a more relaxed atmosphere. I usually enjoy the brunch more than the reception.

Help with OOT guests!

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