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Shower/party/thing

LeguLegu member
100 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary
in Chit Chat
Another question... Lol :] So, I saw somewhere that the point of a bridal shower was to "shower" the bride with gifts to start up the home once married. [May not be exactly correct, but, I think I get the general idea...?] Presumably a tradition from way back when couples lived separately with their parents until married... Well, my question is... My FI and I have a home [rented, but still...]. We have a home full of crap, and don't need/particularly want blenders and cutlery and irons and whatnot. Is it okay to invite people to a "prewedding celebration" [no stag or hen planned, we just want a final gathering with friends before taking on the husband/wife role] and state somewhere on the invite something like "gift not necessary"? [I don't know how to word it, even if it is something you can put]... ? I'd much rather people just came out for a good night, and forget about the gift thing...
So, maybe things don't always go as planned... Maybe that's okay. I may be alone for now, but my baby boy is on his way, and I wouldn't change a thing.
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Re: Shower/party/thing

  • Avion22Avion22 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its
    You can always have a party and invite whoever you want.  You can have a dinner party, birthday party, BBQ, or whatever.  

    If it's "wedding related" (engagement party, shower, bachelor/ette) then you shouldn't host it yourself, nor should you invite anyone who won't be invited to the weding.  It's not really cool to throw a party in your own honor.    

    But like I said, if it's not wedding related at all, and is just a dinner party (or bbq, or whatever) then knock yourselves out.    

    You should never mention gifts on an invitation, even if it's to request people not bring any.   If it's a non-wedding-related party, then I don't see why people would want to bring gifts.   If it's like an engagement party, then whoever hosts it for you can use word of mouth to request people not bring any gifts.  


    Have you thought about possibly upgrading some of the items you have now?  Could you use really nice sheets or towels?   Nicer pots or pans?   You can always have a yardsale or donate your old stuff.    If you really don't need ANYTHING, then you should decline "showers."   
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  • GoodLuckBear14GoodLuckBear14 member
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited April 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_showerpartything?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:01a61a4e-c7b2-449d-951f-bb5db1d8e616Post:c195de2f-d611-4b59-b9d7-7298a11b3f2b">Shower/party/thing</a>:
    [QUOTE]Another question... Lol :] So, I saw somewhere that the point of a bridal shower was to "shower" the bride with gifts to start up the home once married. [May not be exactly correct, but, I think I get the general idea...?] Presumably a tradition from way back when couples lived separately with their parents until married... Well, my question is... My FI and I have a home [rented, but still...]. We have a home full of crap, and don't need/particularly want blenders and cutlery and irons and whatnot. Is it okay to invite people to a "prewedding celebration" [no stag or hen planned, we just want a final gathering with friends before taking on the husband/wife role] and state somewhere on the invite something like "gift not necessary"? [I don't know how to word it, even if it is something you can put]... ? I'd much rather people just came out for a good night, and forget about the gift thing...
    Posted by Legu[/QUOTE]

    You can always use upgrades.  DH and I combined two households, donated a ton a stuff to several Goodwill stores and still managed a registry of upgrades.  Most people gave cash when they saw the size of the registry.

    You should not be throwing any prewedding parties for yourself.  They are thrown in your honor and if you are not registering anywhere, you should decline all offers for showers.  Now if someone still wants to host something for you, you could do a tea or a recipe shower where each guest brings a copy of their favorite recipe for you.
    Proud to be an old married hag!! image
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  • LeguLegu member
    100 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary
    I would certainly never invite anyone to any sort of wedding thing if I hadn't invited them to the actual wedding. I know I won't be asking people to my own "party", but my MOH is already asking me what I'd like to do [im not a typical "go out and get drunk], I'd just like a day with my girls in the city or at a theme park or somethin... Not a hen do, as such, just one last day with the girls as one of the girls. She's going to organise it all etc etc... She just wants to make sure I have a good day. I never thought about "upgrading"... I could maybe just register for "cheap" things... New towels, pretty vase... I just, I really don't want people spending loads of money on gifts.
    So, maybe things don't always go as planned... Maybe that's okay. I may be alone for now, but my baby boy is on his way, and I wouldn't change a thing.
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  • Avion22Avion22 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its
    It's no good registering for things you don't need.  If there ARE things you want to upgrade or replace, then do so.  I wouldn't register for something cheap just so you have something on the registery....
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  • cwaggoner07cwaggoner07 member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    Definitely don't register for things you don't need. My work throws very elaborate showers, and a girl there (with no tact clearly) made it very clear that the only reason she was even registering was due to the work shower. Then we all went to snoop on her registry and she registered for ridiculous things, like a set of 50 highball glasses, and a $300 ceramic bowl.

    And now everyone loathes her.
    It was a fairytale. Image and video hosting by TinyPic Anniversary
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  • LeguLegu member
    100 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary
    Okay, so... Register for some stuff, but only stuff we want replaced... Bearing in mind we're still two years out, there probably will be stuff we'd like to replace its just, I'd prefer people to spend their money. Anything we got upgraded I'd either give [the old stuff] to charity, or sell it off an donate to the RSPCA, I guess. I'm so weird... I really don't like gifts...
    So, maybe things don't always go as planned... Maybe that's okay. I may be alone for now, but my baby boy is on his way, and I wouldn't change a thing.
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  • librababylibrababy
    500 Comments
    I wasnt going to do a registry either. BUT per my bridesmaids request and advice, I think I will. She offered to go with me as well since FI doesn't want to go and doesn't care either way. 

    I will be registering for upgrades and for things we never got around to buying ourselves or just don't have. But I want to be conscious of my guests so nothing over $100 will be on my registry. If I want a $300 mixer, I'd rather buy it for myself. 
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  • SparrowSongSparrowSong member
    500 Comments 5 Love Its
    I'd just throw a party. A bonfire. A 80s themed costume contest. A Mad Men themed cocktail party. A BYOB potluck casual thing. Whatever. I just wouldn't label it a pre-wedding anything or imply that your desire to have people over had anything to do with an upcoming wedding.
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