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October 2012 Weddings
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Having a Freak Out Moment

ktelizabeth86ktelizabeth86
500 Comments
in October 2012 Weddings
So I have anxiety problems . . . always have. Recently went to doctor to get put back on anxiety medication and also going to see a therapist soon. Any of you who also suffer with anxiety know that stress makes it worse. Needless to say wedding planning has made me even more crazy than I usually am.

So, our venue is a barn without any heat. I just got a quote from this heating company for about $2,000 to heat our venue. The guy is so super nice and he sounds like he really knows what he's doing and it's a huge space. FI just sent me a text and said he didn't think $2,000 was bad. I originally had budgeted us for half of that amount b/c I was previously talking to people who didn't know what they were talking about/doing.

Point of this post is, it's not just the heaters . . . it's every time we get another quote, or think of another thing we missed, or have to make another big decision, or have to invite people we don't really want to, etc. I'm so stressed. It's effecting my life in other aspects. The wedding isn't just to blame, like I said I always struggle with anxiety, but I have the thought every couple of months to just cancel the whole damn thing.

I work at the county courthouse. I thought today that we could just have our ceremony here with just our family and then have a cookout or something . . .

I feel like people would be disappointed with that. And we did already send out STDs to everyone. We've already paid deposits for a lot of stuff but we'd still be saving a huge amount of money. I just can't decide if I would be disappointed with that (and if FI would) and if I'd look back and regret it . . . and if we're too deep now to back out.

Thanks for letting me put all my crazy out there!
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Re: Having a Freak Out Moment

  • LDubHawksFanLDubHawksFan member
    1000 Comments 100 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    Take a deep breathe.  Your original plan sounds lovely and it will come together.  It is stressful to find out that there are deflections from your budget, but there may be ways to sort that out.  Are there other aspects of the day that you could find budget from (i.e. a cheaper menu option). Could you get a second quote too?   I agree that in Balimore in October, heat is a pretty important cost!  I think you just need to step back and remember what you want, and I think it is your barn wedding is it.  All of us have gone through these moments of wanting to run off and elope instead, but it will be so worth it!  I promise!  Good luck!

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  • aimee58aimee58 member
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    I deal with anxiety too, so I feel you. I think just try to take a deep breathe and spend a couple days not wedding planning and just thinking about what you really want. I know I get to the point of almost having a panic attack, FI notices and we take a week without any wedding talk. It really helps me refocus on my goal and what I want to do.

    If you really truly feel like a courthouse wedding is what you want, go for it. If you're just going to look back with regret that you didn't get what you wanted because of stress, stick with your plan. i think it sounds wonderful.
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  • ktelizabeth86ktelizabeth86
    500 Comments
    Thanks ladies. I appreciate the support.  :)
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  • NRod70NRod70
    500 Comments
    I'm on medication too.  We should start a club!  lol.  

    On a more serious note, you have to think to the future.  Will you regret not having the wedding you originally planned as opposed to the courthouse?  I always planned on having my church wedding and when I mentioned to my sister about just going to Vegas and being married by a fat Elvis, she reminded me of what I had always dreamed of and how I would regret it later.  There's obviously a reason that you made these plans thus far...its what you want.

    Just take it one step at a time...these things like the quotes and changes and even disappointments, happen in our everday lives, its just right now, for us, its kinda smushed into a short period of time and is making the stress so much greater.

    You'll be fine..we'll all be, just think of how happy you will be on your big day!!  Plus, you have all of us to vent to...we know what you're going through!  Good luck!
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