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ohhh DH

heather011heather011
10 Comments
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
So the window in our bedroom had been frosting up really badly lately, but I just chalked it up to being cheap windows and ignored it.  DH was in there tonight and noticed it and was worried about it thawing and either a) dripping into the outlet and causing an electrical fire or b) dripping down the drywall and causing an outbreak of toxic mold.  

Anyway, he thought he'd try to fix it by wiping off the frost/ice with a tea towel, and the glass ended up cracking and breaking completely.  Total fluke and I don't really get why/how that happened.  But now we have a completely broken window (and it's -25 C outside) and he's convinced it will take "thousands of dollars" to replace the one pane.  

*sigh* this is more just a vent while he runs to Walmart to buy something to cover the hole with, but does anyone else have an H who immediately jumps to the worst case scenario?  How do you handle it?  I try to just nod and smile because I know it won't be as bad as he thinks and arguing with him about it is pointless
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Re: ohhh DH

  • Beachy730Beachy730 member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    Well with something like this, you can't really control the cost, and have no choice but to fix it, so I would basically tell H to stop complaining over something you can't control. 
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  • TurtlesAllTheWayDownTurtlesAllTheWayDown member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    Lol, I'm usually the one flipping out.

    If it's a standard window, it won't be expensive at all. And hey, a new window probably won't fog up, at least. 
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  • heather011heather011
    10 Comments
    edited December 2010
    Exactly.  I'm much more of a "oh well, that happened, can't do anything about it now so let's just move on and fix it" kind of person.  I think he just needs to vent because he feels like it was his "fault". 

    Which is why he went to Walmart by himself. Ha

    ETA: so that he can vent to himself and get it all out, not because I think it was his fault
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  • DramaGeekDramaGeek member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its
    Do we live with the same man?  When I rear ended someone, his first response was "well, way to go, you probably totalled your truck."  Seriously dude?!  I get that I screwed up, but trust me, I feel bad enough already.  I don't need your help to feel guilty!

    How do I deal?  I've started to tell him not to be such a negative nelly.  I'm not very nice about it.  In that situation I'd have said something like, "Whatever, it's only thousands of dollars to replace all of the windows.  For that one it's probably just a couple hundred bucks.  We'll worry about that later.  Right now you should be worrying about the fact that I'm freezing my ass off."
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  • thesuninherheadthesuninherhead member
    5000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2010

    My Dad is like that. 

    I recently did something silly- poured hot oil through a plastic strainer, melting said strainer into the deep fryer and ruining all of our oil. I was really apologetic- as happens when you grow up in an environment where all accidents are viewed as having fault attached- and H was so unconcerned and telling me not to worry about it. Ditto for the time that I thought I'd hit a pole with our car (if I did, it wasn't obvious!) and the time that I thought I'd reversed into another car (haha again as above, it felt like I hit it but there were no marks on either car whatsoever). Both times I was so crazily freaked out and H was just calm and kept stressing that accidents happen and I shouldn't worry/apologise.

     

    I must admit, that having grown in that environment, when I do drop/break/otherwise harm something, my first thought is to look around at who or what there is to blame for the situation. I'm aware of it so I keep it internal, but it would be easy for me to freak out and blame my dropping of the glass on the cat/distraction caused by H etc.

     

    As for how to deal with your H... I'm not sure. I still haven't quite figured out how to deal with my father. I mostly just let him have his little negative rave- countering it doesn't seem to achieve much at the time- and then talk to him about it later (if need be) when he's calmed down. 

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  • heather011heather011
    10 Comments
    Glad to know I'm not the only one!  The more I think about it, the more I realize that his mom is very extreme in her reactions, so that's probably where he gets it from.  With her, everything is the worst thing ever or the best thing ever - there's not much in between.  

    Sun, I'm much more like your H.  I just figure that accidents happen and there's no point in completely freaking out about them after the fact.  I just try to learn from it and do what you gotta do to fix whatever happened.

    I'll just keep on letting him have his ranting time if it makes him feel better.  He was slightly calmer when he got back from the store with plastic and it actually blocked out the cold pretty good last night.  Now we just have to wait to hear from the window guy today.  I'm going to really have to bite my tongue to not have to say "I told you so" when it only turns out to be a couple hundred bucks (if that).  Haha
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