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Wedding Etiquette Forum
Gifts vs. Money
My fiancee and i have lived together for two years already, it'll be three years by the time we actually tie the knot. Needless to say we really have everything that you typically register for except the house!! We live in an apartment and want to buy a home after the wedding so, we would like to request money instead of gifts. But, how do we go about doing this?? I don't want to be rude or come across as a spoiled brat! Please help!
Thank you for all your help!!
Thank you for all your help!!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Gifts vs. Money
[QUOTE]My fiancee and i have lived together for two years already, it'll be three years by the time we actually tie the knot. Needless to say we really have everything that you typically register for except the house!! We live in an apartment and want to buy a home after the wedding so, we would like to request money instead of gifts. <strong>But, how do we go about doing this??</strong> I don't want to be rude or come across as a spoiled brat! Please help! Thank you for all your help!!
Posted by woodyardwedding[/QUOTE]
You don't. It's rude to ask for cash or even imply that you expect to get things.
FI and I both had fully furnished homes for several years before we moved in together. We are upgrading items such as towels, sheets, kitchen gadgets, etc.
Now, if people ask your family/bridal party where you're registered, they can say "Well, they have a small registry at --store--, but I know they're saving up for X (a house, a family, whatever). But you shouldn't ever be like "Oh, we just want money!!"
[QUOTE]In Response to Gifts vs. Money : You don't. It's rude to ask for cash or even imply that you expect to get things. <strong>FI and I both had fully furnished homes for several years before we moved in together. We are upgrading items such as towels, sheets, kitchen gadgets, etc.</strong>
Posted by PetalPockets2012[/QUOTE]
Us too. We will be registering for nicer sheets, towels and cookware as well as some odds and ends we would like that we don't already have (ie a stand mixer). <div>
</div><div>OP - create a small registry for the shower (if someone is throwing you one) and for those who might want to purchase a physical wedding gift. People will generally get the hint with a small registry. Also, you can let your parents and WP know that you're hoping for cash so that when guests ask them where you are registered they can say "they're registered at ABC store, but I know they're saving for a new house/furniture/whatever."</div>
[QUOTE]The thing is, everyone wants and needs cash. Requesting it is just stating the obvious, which isn't cool, ya know? If people want to give cash, they will.
Posted by Simply Fated[/QUOTE]
<div>True dat. </div><div>
</div><div>Which is why I hereby decree to the entire world that anyone who wants to direct deposit money in my account has my authorization (seriously why do you need a form for that?). </div><div>
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Fatty Blog
[QUOTE]I'm in the same situation, and I absolutely refuse to request items that I don't need. Something about it makes me feel very wasteful. So, I set up 2 charity requests and asked my friends and family to donate to that in lieu of shower/wedding gifts. A number of my relatives have told my mother that they still want to give us cash at the wedding and my mom has told them this is fine. This will allow my close family and friends to still give us money if they would like, without having to register for a bunch of stuff I do not want, or to donate to charity, or to do both. I think if you do not want material gifts there is absolutely no reason why you should have to accept them. Isn't that just a form of typical American waste??
Posted by nikita1821[/QUOTE]
That will go over well. You're telling them where to put their money. I'd just put it back in my pocket, especially if you were one of the 4 or 5 charities I don't support.
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