Petty MOH frustration- but needing to vent anyway

Re: Petty MOH frustration- but needing to vent anyway

• aerinpegadrak member

  

  August 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_petty-moh-frustration-but-needing-to-vent-anyway?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:c828ebcf-3dd0-4dc5-abe5-5afd7f475317Post:3faeb8bf-8552-4f1e-8f38-f4d39ab6adcd">Petty MOH frustration- but needing to vent anyway</a>:
  [QUOTE]So I just spoke to my sister, my MOH. . . . she keeps asking me for details about wedding plans since the wedding is 4 weeks away.  The problem is, I don't have answers for her.  For instance, she asked where we are going on a honeymoon.  Our plans have gone back and forth a few times and we aren't set on anything specific, we're going to do a last minute deal somewhere.  She is asking me about a RH. . . I explained we'll do something, but not sure what yet.  She is coming from CT, the 3 bridesmaids are a touch closer.  I told her that she would be needed for a RH the night before and the wedding, but was welcome to come out earlier as I would probably be doing wedding stuff on Thursday and Friday, like the OOT bags and getting a mani/pedi that she was more than welcome to join me for but to do what's best for her schedule.  Now she is annoyed with me that I don't have every little thing planned to a T.  She explained that in other weddings she has been to the bride has told to be at certain places at certain times for different events.  Am I supposed to be more of a bridezilla or something?  I'm getting upset and frustrated that I feel like she is judging me for not having a minute by minute schedule for the days leading up to the wedding. I mean everything will get done, I guess i'm just a bit of a procrastinator.
  Posted by kaos16[/QUOTE]
  
  Yeah, I got a bit of that from my family and my attendants, too.  I think some people just don't know how to react to a laidback bride; they feel like you secretly want them to be doing something and just aren't saying it, so they keep trying to get it out of you somehow.  I finally had to tell a couple of people, "It's just a party, it's really not that big a deal.  We'll work it out, and it's not worth either of us stressing over."  I also had to start avoiding some people in the run-up to the wedding who didn't know how to let it go or wouldn't take a hint when I tried to change the subject and talk about anything else.
  
  TBH, though, an itinerary is probably a good idea.  You don't have to stick to it to the millisecond, but I think that people tend to want to know what they'll be doing when so they can plan accordingly, especially if they're coming in from out of town.  Plus, if you're just figuring out the schedule as you go, some people might worry that you're going to figure out something different after they've already made travel arrangements.  So nailing down firm times for major things like the rehearsal, if you haven't done so already, would be good for everyone.

  This is a neglected planning bio.
  This is a belated married bio, with no reviews yet because I'm lazy.
  
  
  Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284

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• pkontk member

  

  August 2012

  I also understand where you're coming from, being a laid-back bride.  I've fielded every question from what color accessories to what color toes, mostly with blank stares in response.
  
  Tell her the time she needs to be at the rehearsal, and if she's getting her hair/makeup done the day of the wedding, the time of those appointments, as well as when photos will begin.  Hopefully that will assure her that you do have everything under control!

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• kikirst33 member

  

  August 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_petty-moh-frustration-but-needing-to-vent-anyway?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:c828ebcf-3dd0-4dc5-abe5-5afd7f475317Post:3faeb8bf-8552-4f1e-8f38-f4d39ab6adcd">Petty MOH frustration- but needing to vent anyway</a>:
  [QUOTE]So I just spoke to my sister, my MOH. . . . she keeps asking me for details about wedding plans since the wedding is 4 weeks away.  The problem is, I don't have answers for her.  For instance, she asked where we are going on a honeymoon.  Our plans have gone back and forth a few times and we aren't set on anything specific, we're going to do a last minute deal somewhere.  <strong>She is asking me about a RH. . . I explained we'll do something, but not sure what yet.</strong>  \
  Posted by kaos16[/QUOTE]
  
  <div>How big is your RH going to be?  We are having a small wedding with a small wedding party and our RH is 22 people.  If you have a large number of people you might need to make sure that you have a restaurant that can accomodate your group.  For a large group a restaurant may want to recommend a limited menu.  If you are trying to keep to a budget it is also good to discuss if there will be an open bar, etc.</div><div>
  </div><div>I'd reccommend making some calls to ensure that you have a restaurant booked based on the size of your RH and can ensure you are aware of costs.</div>

  

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• kaos16 member

  

  August 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_petty-moh-frustration-but-needing-to-vent-anyway?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:c828ebcf-3dd0-4dc5-abe5-5afd7f475317Post:c91f88f5-8236-4ac7-bf0c-3d1dce4218e3">Re: Petty MOH frustration- but needing to vent anyway</a>:
  [QUOTE]In Response to Petty MOH frustration- but needing to vent anyway : How big is your RH going to be?  We are having a small wedding with a small wedding party and our RH is 22 people.  If you have a large number of people you might need to make sure that you have a restaurant that can accomodate your group.  For a large group a restaurant may want to recommend a limited menu.  If you are trying to keep to a budget it is also good to discuss if there will be an open bar, etc. I'd reccommend making some calls to ensure that you have a restaurant booked based on the size of your RH and can ensure you are aware of costs.
  Posted by kikirst33[/QUOTE]
  
  Ou wedding pretty is smaller, 4 girls and 5 guys. . . . we are doing something in the yard for the RD, just not sure what type of food we're doing yet. . . . . pizza, grilling, etc.

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• jnjmommy0609 member

  

  August 2012

  No she is being pretty ridiculous. You just sound like one of the cool laid back brides. Please oh please don't let your sister talk you into acting otherwise lol. Your attitude is refreshing

  
  

  I am a MOH for my best friends wedding coming up in May and she has your attitude about it. I will admit I check on her too since I have been pretty involved in helping her plan...which is something we both agreed on. And I don't do it to be pushy but just do the whole " do you need me to do anything" and if she says no then I drop it.

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