Too Young?

eelsbury08 · October 2012

So I was told today by two girls I thought I was friends with that I was "two young to get married" and "they couldn't imagine getting married at my age". In 23 by the way. FH and I decided to wait till 2014 to get married so I will be 24 turning 25 I don't see the big deal. Also FH and I are planning a bit, mostly the big stuff and researching. I was told by these girls "why are you planning so early" I guess when they get engaged they will realize what a wedding entails. Ugh!!

Chloeagh · October 2012

I definitely don't think you're too young to get married. I will be almost 23, having just graduated from college and I know a lot of the women around here are in the same boat. Our parents thought 23 was too young for awhile, but by the time we got engaged (at 21), we had been together 3 1/2 years and they had warmed up to the idea. By that point, everyone knew we were getting married, whether we had ever mentioned it or not, and no one was surprised by our engagement. When I first mentioned getting married after graduation to my friends, no one batted an eye.

So, needless to say, I definitely think you're a fine age and I'm surprised it's your friends that are having an issue.

GoodLuckBear14 · October 2012

So you don't consider them friends anymore because they voiced an opinion that you don't like? They may not be referring to chronological age here.

eelsbury08 · October 2012

I still consider them friends just a little unhappy right now. I have been been through health issues all of my life so I feel a bit more mature for my age. FH and I have have been dating 2 yrs before we for engaged and have been engaged since September the girls have known. I don't rub it in their faces or anything i actually do the opposite and talk about it with my FH and mom. I just feel they could have been a bit more happy for me than judgmental.

eelsbury08 · October 2012

I am still friends with them don't get me wrong, I just think they can't imagine being in a stable relationship like I am and being married. I just want them to not be as judgmental and be happy for me.

Nessasaurus · October 2012

I agree with Chloeagh, I don't think you are too young to get married, especially if you two talked about it and are ready to do it. I went through a similar situation, but instead of being my friends was my family, they thought I was too young to get married (I am 20 but will be 21 by the time we get married) but after we talked to them they saw our point of view and now are very excited for us. Maybe if you talk with your friends about it and let them know how you feel they will see your point of view and support you in the process.

catrb89 · October 2012

You're not too young. I'm engaged at 23 and will be married when I am 25. But if you're really taking them into consideration about this, then you might be too young. Everyone has an opinion and you're not going to like all of them.

Annas2013 · October 2012

Honestly you should not be asking that question. Maybe they believe in getting married older? Everyone has different opinions on marriage and the right age/time. I'm younger than you(not by much though), and I have never once questioned whether or not I'm too young. The only time I've gotten any comments are when I wear old shirts that still fit from high school when working out. And that's never bothered me.

It's also different in different places of the US. Where I'm from, it's very common to get married in school or right after. I have friends from other places who say that it's more common to wait til mid to late twenties where they're from. It just depends.

You have to do what's right for you. Ignore their remarks.

Also Nessa, I'm graduating with my BA in psychology in May, just thought I'd let you know!

eelsbury08 · October 2012

Thanks girls it just really threw me off. I fell older since many from where I'm from have gotten married or had children right out if high school. I found out last night from another girl who use to be friends with one of the girls who told me this that she did the same thing when she got engaged too, so it wasn't just me.

eelsbury08 · October 2012

Thanks girls it just really threw me off. I fell older since many from where I'm from have gotten married or had children right out if high school. I found out last night from another girl who use to be friends with one of the girls who told me this that she did the same thing when she got engaged too, so it wasn't just me.

calliopeia2013 · October 2012

FWIW, I was 25 when I got engaged and will be 26 when I get married - i.e. the exact average age women get married in the U.S. - and I still had people say, "Oh, wow, you're so young!" I really think it just might be one of those stupid things people say to make conversation.

kbracero1 · October 2012

You are definetly not too young to get married! I am 20 and just got engaged on Sept. 1st and my finace is 21 (almost 22). We are waiting until 2014 to get married (I will be 22 and he will be 23) because we both want to be done with college first. I graduate this may and he will be graduating in 2014

No matter what, people will have different opinions, but as my mom says, you can't controll when you meet your soulmate and everyone has different timing. If you guys are ready for it then go for it! I just feel so blessed that I met my FI when I was younger (I was 16 when we first became friends) and that we get to start our lives together being so young. From my experience the people who thought we were "too young" were the ones who don't really know us and our relationship well.

[Deleted User] · October 2012

Honestly, I am 21 and have been engaged for almost a year now. By the time we get married I will be 23. Age shouldn't define whether or not you can get married, I have been with my fiance for 5 years now and we know what its like to have responsibilities, work, and go to school. As long as both of you are willing to push each other and can overcome any obstacle together then go for it! Remember your friends do not understand if they are not engaged! Everyone has told me wait until after law school, "You're crazy"..., why are you planning so early! Time flys and things get booked! Plan your wedding and don't worry about what everyone else thinks!

Do what you and your fiance feel is right! Not what everyone else thinks you should be doing!

searush · November 2012

you are not too young, some of my friends married straight after high schools. not all people have to marry late, as long as you have everything in order and plan out, eveything should be alright. just because you are married, does not mean that you are not fun anymore

anikischer · November 2012

Dont worry about what anyone else says sweetie. I just turned 24 in september, and I could care less what ANYONE thinks about my age, all I care about is marrying my FH. Congrats to you!! Definitly plan early, you save so much money. Im not getting married until 2014, and ive already secured my venue, church, cake, dj and photographer, some think im crazy, but what they dont realize is, this allows me more time for payments AND secures 2012's prices, every year they raise! example---- I got my cake for 1.90 a slice, in 2014, its expected to jump to 2.95 a slice, do your homework!!

Chloeagh · November 2012

Fun story. So, FI sees his sister about once a year, rarely talks to her, and I haven't seen or talked to her in 2 years, so she knows nothing about our relationship. This week she visited their parents and told him that we were too young to get married and we should wait until I'm done with grad school. That is what annoys me most about "you're too young" people. She didn't go to grad school, FI didn't even go to college, so why am I required to wait until I'm 27 at the youngest (and have been with FI 10 years) to get married simply because I enjoy continuing my education? FI is financially stable enough. She's a little late, too. My family stopped with that line about a year ago and everyone's fine with my wedding date now. And what I'm doing is common at my school, so no one cares.

roxirose · November 2012

There is no too young or too old to be engaged or get married. A lot of people say I am too young (17, ha), but I don't care what they think. He proposed on our 2 year anniversary, so we've been together long enough and we're getting married the day before our 3 year anniversary. I think I am in a good enough place to get married right now. I graduated when I was 16, I have been working out some stuff to start going to the local community college. I've been looking for work and he's got a steady job.

To make a long story short, I don't think it's a matter of age, I think it's a matter of readiness. I believe that I am ready to prepare for that commitment, and if you feel you are ready, then don't listen to what anyone else thinks. It's not them getting married.

Asjohn967 · December 2012

I'm 23 and I have heard the "you're so young" line sooo many times. It really upset me and made me doubt my decisions at first, but then I realized that I had to take the person who made the comments into consideration- do the opinions of my hairdresser, my acquaintances, my mom's friends really matter to me? Do they really know who I am and how my relationship is? No, the don't. I've learned to nod and smile at these comments, then roll my eyes as the person when they walk away. They have no idea where I am at in my life, so they can judge me all they want, but I won't let it affect me anymore, and you shouldn't either!

JnMB · December 2012

Yeah half my friends won't even talk about my engagement. They just pretend like its not happening. They don't like my decision because I'm young so they are pretending not to notice. The other half of my friends never get enough of me talking about it. They are more excited than I am I think lol.

avgubitosi · January 2013

I was 19 when I got engaged and 20 when I got married. My husband is a year younger than me; he proposed to me after two and a half years of dating when he was just shy of 19. I have to agree with Chloeagh: I am surprised your friends aren't being more supportive. However, I have to say that some of their "you're too young" talk may be coming from the fact that they aren't emotionally ready for you to pass through the huge milestone of marriage. When I told my mom I was engaged, it was like World War III in our household for about a month (even though both my mother and maternal grandmother were married at 20!) Later I realized that because she had not seen my husband and I interact as a couple very often, my mom didn't know if we were emotionally prepared to take the next step. Because I am my mother's second child, eldest daughter, and first to marry, the change was extremely hard on her and proved SHE was not emotionally ready to let go of me. Now she sees how happy my husband and I are together and my mother wouldn't want it any other way.

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