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*RANT* My parents backed out of helping pay for wedding

WENDYIAMWENDYIAM
10 Comments
in Wedding Woes

When I got engaged my parents told me the would give me some money to help pay for my wedding in january. Now tonight they said they will not be giving me anything UNTIL January because they "might" need it for themselves. They have nothing planned. no reason they can give me other then they MIGHT have an emergency where they need all the money they can get their hands on. I have been engaged since february and all of a sudden they have had a change of heart. So now i can either postpone my wedding or change everything about our wedding to work with our tiny budget. We were already having less then 20 people coming to the wedding so it doesn't really get much smaller then that. who does that! If you don't want to help me then don't waste my time saying you will for 3 months!!!! why would you get my hopes up?! I'm just so devastated!! :( Just had to let someone know. Sorry.

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Re: *RANT* My parents backed out of helping pay for wedding

  • mrshellem2012mrshellem2012 member
    100 Comments
    My mother just did the same thing to me yesterday, I am continuing to have my wedding as planned, but its in september next year so i definetly have more time than you, but still stressed me out. You can down size or move your date... i would choose to move your date if its that cozy already.
     Did they say they werent going to help you pay at all? but than again why chance them spending the money sometime in january, i would just save your money and do it yourself.
     Personally since i have told my mother to keep her money (we argued ALOT) I feel so much better because now i know for sure when and where the money is coming from and that it will be there, and i dont have someone else telling me what they would rather have at my wedding...
     Good luck to you, i hope it all works out to make you both happy :)
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  • SilverLining1SilverLining1
    100 Comments
    I understand that you're disappointed, and that is probably the source of the rant, but I would advise that you take a step back for a few days so taht you can accept this and make constructive decisions. Your parents money is theirs to do as they please, and you shouldn't count on having it unless they offer it to you and you have it in hand. You're right that your choices are to scale back your plans or to postpone the wedding so that you can save. 

    Personally, I would just scale back my plans. It would be more important to me to be married than to have my wedding be a certain way. You can check out the budget board for ways to make your money go farther.

    Additionally, please don't be mad at your parents about this. I can understand being disappointed, but you should never count on someone else's money.
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  • 6fsn6fsn member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper

    It's better to find out now then 2 weeks before the wedding.  Sure it sucks, but you really don't know your parents financial situation.  Even if you did, it's their money. 

    I'm curious what kind of wedding for 20 you can't afford after 9 months of saving.

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  • hmonkeyhmonkey member
    Ninth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    [QUOTE]I'm curious what kind of wedding for 20 you can't afford after 9 months of saving.
    Posted by 6fsn[/QUOTE]

    4 realz.  i could throw a wedding for 20 with the money in my checking account.
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  • baconsmombaconsmom member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_rant-parents-backed-out-of-helping-pay-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:189332b6-c694-43ee-a33e-1b3a5d7d2213Post:d4f98a30-7792-46da-83a4-0de9eb63d7d2">*RANT* My parents backed out of helping pay for wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]When I got engaged my parents told me the would give me some money to help pay for my wedding in january. Now tonight they said they will not be giving me anything UNTIL January because they "might" need it for themselves. They have nothing planned. no reason they can give me other then they MIGHT have an emergency where they need all the money they can get their hands on. I have been engaged since february and all of a sudden they have had a change of heart. So now i can either postpone my wedding or change everything about our wedding to work with our tiny budget. We were already having less then 20 people coming to the wedding so it doesn't really get much smaller then that. who does that! If you don't want to help me then don't waste my time saying you will for 3 months!!!! why would you get my hopes up?! I'm just so devastated!! :( Just had to let someone know. Sorry.
    Posted by WENDYIAM[/QUOTE]

    <div>I'm sure they raised you like this, too. </div>
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  • WENDYIAMWENDYIAM
    10 Comments
    rant part 2. I don't understand your vague comment baconsmom. We were having our wedding at Disney which was our dream. Not that it matters now. I thought for one day I could pretend I had a nicer life then I really do. I guess not. I could care less if they paid for the wedding I'm upset because they lied to me. I don't care who you are that is unacceptable, especially when someone is counting on you. I learned my lesson not to trust anyone again. I can pay for my own wedding but this whole process has put such a bad taste in my mouth, i just want to elope now. Why bother? Thanks for your support mrshellum2012. Hope everything works out for you.
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  • mrshellem2012mrshellem2012 member
    100 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_rant-parents-backed-out-of-helping-pay-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:189332b6-c694-43ee-a33e-1b3a5d7d2213Post:0e103cfb-44e5-4624-b889-7fe9b533df95">Re: *RANT* My parents backed out of helping pay for wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]rant part 2. I don't understand your vague comment baconsmom. We were having our wedding at Disney which was our dream. Not that it matters now. I thought for one day I could pretend I had a nicer life then I really do. I guess not. I could care less if they paid for the wedding I'm upset because they lied to me. I don't care who you are that is unacceptable, especially when someone is counting on you. I learned my lesson not to trust anyone again. I can pay for my own wedding but this whole process has put such a bad taste in my mouth, i just want to elope now. Why bother? Thanks for your support mrshellum2012. Hope everything works out for you.
    Posted by WENDYIAM[/QUOTE]

    If its a dream for you to be married there than why not postpone, if you are getting married than theres no rush just to be married. I am sure that this fairy tale wedding is going to cost a pretty penny, even if it is 20 people, still its freakin disney world $$$$ lol...
     What ever you decide to do just make sure there will be no remorse later (i.e, not having the wedding that you have dreamed of) Good luck to the both of you!! :)
    Wedding Countdown Ticker image Future Mrs.Hellem
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