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FMIL question

FullwedFullwed member
First Anniversary First Comment
in Texas-Houston
While planning, are there any other knotties having problems with their FMIL?  She is driving me crazy.  I want to tell my fiance but I'm not sure if I should unleash.  Anyone have any advice?  I would appreciate it.
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Re: FMIL question

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    jen2013jen2013
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Can you give examples of what she is doing? Might be better able to help if we can see what she's doing. Luckily I have had to problems with my FMIL but I know some aren't as lucky. 
    xoxo, Jennifer
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    Elle1036Elle1036 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Agree with PP.  What is she doing tht's so irritating?  We can't help you without more specific info.
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    FullwedFullwed member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    My FMIL asked my future sister in law to be my bridesmaid.  I wasn't planning on asking her.  FSIL was so happy & excited I didnt have the heart to tell her.  Then my FMIL told several family members at a recent party that I was being disrespectful because I wasn't going to wear a shawl or jacket with my dress during the church ceremony.  The sad part was I was standing in the circle of people she was telling.  I want a strapless dress & don't feel as if I'm being disrespectful.  Those are just 2 incidents, there are more but I don't necessarily want to air all my dirty laundry...lol.  Am I just being unreasonable?
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    jen2013jen2013
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I would definately be irritated also if I were in your situation. I am shocked that she would ask your FSIL to be your bridesmaid. how did you find out? I think if you didn't plan to have her as a BM you don't have to or you can make her an "honorary BM". up to you. I know it would be hard to tell someone they really aren't a BM after thinking that they are.
    And for the shawl, I would be understand that she would want you to wear it but I would just try to explain to her that you appreciate the offer but you just are not wanting to wear it. she should understand and if not, then atleast you know you tried to talk it over respectfully with her. I would just say whatever problems you are having with her try to be honest with her about it and move on and don't let her run things when she doesn't need to. Definately don't feel you're over reacting. that's just my opinion though :) I hope things start to get better
    xoxo, Jennifer
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Well FMIL and I settled our differences way before we set a date. Perhaps this is something you two need to do. I will tell you this much, do NOT get your FI involved to play messenger or be the "mediator" this will backfire. That is his mother, and that is not a position you would want to be in if the tables were turned. Have a sit-down. Talk to FMIL, go to dinner outside of her/your house and talk. Tell her that you don't appreciate such comments and hope she can learn to be respectful of you.
    Also, do communicate with you FI about the issues. Ask him for advice as to how to deal with the situation, since he may be able to give you tips on how to approach her. This also keeps him in the loop w/o involving him too much so that he feels like he has to pick a side.
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    FullwedFullwed member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Ladies,

    Thank you so much for the advice.  You have given me peace of mind & options on how to handle.  Appreciate it!
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