Wedding Etiquette Forum

Boo hoo

So, we are leaving at 8am tomorrow for Maryland to spend Christmas with DH's mom, step-dad, sister, grandmother, aunt, uncle, and 2 cousins. Honestly, I am not looking forward to going. I just never seem to enjoy my time spent with them and I would rather be with my parents, brothers, and cats on Christmas. :( DH knows that I am sad that I can't be with my family on Christmas too, but I guess I'll have to suck it up for 6 days and deal. It just sucks that we'll have to travel to MD one holiday a year. Ah, the fun part of marriage!

What bugs me the most is that there is no private room for us to sleep in at MIL's house - I never feel "at home" or welcomed there. We leave our crap all over the living room because there is no other space to put it. Last time we were there, I asked where we should sleep and she said "Anywhere you can find a spot" and then she went to bed. For me, that meant the couch and DH got the floor in the living room. We alternated each night for 5 nights. There isn't even a room for us to sleep in the same bed. I don't know why I'm bothered so much by that - maybe because I tend to view myself as a great host and would want to make my guests feel welcomed in my home.

Anywho, this is more of a bitch/whine fest than anything else. Anyone else not so thrilled with their holiday plans? Anyone have awesome plans and care to rub them in my face?
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Re: Boo hoo

  • Well, DH and I will be at the IL's tomorrow night and we'll see if MIL does anything but reheat a prepared meal for dinner.

    However Christmas Eve dinner is a big tradition for DH and I'm looking forward to that part with him.  It's our fourth Christmas that we're spending together (we spent them separately until we were engaged) and that part also makes it special to me and hopefully to him.

    Maybe you two can invest in a queen size aerobed?  Who knows, maybe you can even find one tomorrow on sale at BB&B while you're en route to MD and then you just have to deflate it in the morning.  
  • I'll be working all day tomorrow and probably Friday as well.  I'll most likely work 40+ hours next week as well.
    kd.joseph's wish is my command
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    Just call me "Brothel"
    And betrothed, I'm disgusted with most of the comments that you have posted. I don't think I've ever read such judgmental comments in my life. I'm so lucky that the girls I speak to on theknot are nothing like you...I would've never come on here for ADVICE if I would've encountered a big a bitch as you. I genuinely feel awful for your children or your future children, and I think it would be irresponsible of YOU not to invest in their future therapy sessions starting now. Because trust me when I tell you honey, they're gonna need it. ~jcaruncho2010
    my read shelf:
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  • anna.oskaranna.oskar member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2009
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_boo-hoo?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b64e5582-643e-4555-8c94-88a868765fa7Post:4c3d866d-72dd-47c8-83ed-c93d28268364">Boo hoo</a>:
    [QUOTE]"Anyone have awesome plans and care to rub them in my face?
    Posted by ggmae[/QUOTE]

    Sure do!  Do to the impending blizzard, DH an i are not travelling for hours to his family's house, we're staying home with homemade cocoa, cookies, and cheesy christmas movies.  We'll get to spend our first married Christmas eve together alone with our cats.  Christmas day, i'm doing an open house for anyone that dares brave the weather.

    p.s.  Sorry you're miserable-ish.  That's the exact reason I didn't want to go to MIL's house.  Cory would get to sleep in his childhood bed and I'd be offered the couch in the living room.
  • Yeah I wanted to kick DH when he said, "It's the last work day of the year!"

    Jerkface knows I have to go back on Monday.  
  • I totally understand why you'd be put out by this---it's not nearly as bad at Rich's house--but, we use his "old" room, which is his mom's current office. So---we sleep in a twin bed together, and live out of suitcases for days because his mom still uses the office while we are there.

    It's the thing I hate most about holidays. I wish I could just remain a kid forever--be with my parents, in my room, with my space. I think when I got a place of my own, the thought of sleeping on someone couch or floor makes me cringe. I may have drunkenly done that in college, but I certainly do not want to do that now.

    This year, we are splitting up for the first time. I'm not well enough to fly, and he didn't want to just stay here (because we wouldn't do anything really)---and my parents are newly divorced. My dad moved his girlfriend in, they moved in to my old room, then broke up---and she still lives there (this all took place over the time span of 1 month), and my dad is staying in his room again. So I don't even have a room to put my stuff in at my own home. I am only going home for a day---a day too long in my opinion.

    Holidays are such a pain.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_boo-hoo?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b64e5582-643e-4555-8c94-88a868765fa7Post:4c05ea2f-f433-45e4-b94c-9bc0718d6989">Re: Boo hoo</a>:
    [QUOTE]...We'll get to spend our first married Christmas eve together alone with our cats...[/QUOTE]

    This would be my dream Christmas! We just dropped our cats off at my parents' and I miss them already. I am also sad that we are missing their 1st birthday on the 28th. How lame am I?

    Banana - The good news is that I'm off until Jan 4th, but I have to spend 1/2 of it away from CT. :( Oh, and the airbed is a good idea. I'll keep that in mind if we pass a BBB!

    Betrothed - What type of work do you do? My mom is a nurse and has had to work soooo many holidays in the past. It sucks.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_boo-hoo?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b64e5582-643e-4555-8c94-88a868765fa7Post:608e5c4d-7453-41ca-a28c-5afc8fa1e547">Re: Boo hoo</a>:
    [QUOTE]I totally understand why you'd be put out by this---it's not nearly as bad at Rich's house--but, we use his "old" room, which is his mom's current office. So---we sleep in a twin bed together, and live out of suitcases for days because his mom still uses the office while we are there. It's the thing I hate most about holidays. I wish I could just remain a kid forever--be with my parents, in my room, with my space. I think when I got a place of my own, the thought of sleeping on someone couch or floor makes me cringe. I may have drunkenly done that in college, but I certainly do not want to do that now. This year, we are splitting up for the first time. I'm not well enough to fly, and he didn't want to just stay here (because we wouldn't do anything really)---and my parents are newly divorced. My dad moved his girlfriend in, they moved in to my old room, then broke up---and she still lives there (this all took place over the time span of 1 month), and my dad is staying in his room again. So I don't even have a room to put my stuff in at my own home. I am only going home for a day---a day too long in my opinion. Holidays are such a pain.
    Posted by RachNRich[/QUOTE]

    Gosh, Rach! That does sound like a pain. :( I hope you are still able to enjoy your holiday as much as possible, even though you and Rich will be away from each other. DH and I spent Christmas apart last year because I figured it was the last year we could get away with it in MIL's eyes.
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  • Well, there's one in Milford just of I-95...and it's across from the mall but not in the same parking lot so you may only go slightly crazy getting one.

    I'll take that over the floor any day.  Smile
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_boo-hoo?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b64e5582-643e-4555-8c94-88a868765fa7Post:1d1f8491-38d3-4fd7-842e-9e352efb628e">Re: Boo hoo</a>:
    [QUOTE]Well, there's one in Milford just of I-95...and it's across from the mall but not in the same parking lot so you may only go slightly crazy getting one. I'll take that over the floor any day. 
    Posted by banana468[/QUOTE]

    I am actually from Milford, so I know exactly where you are talking about. ;-) I haven't braved the Milford mall since May!
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  • Eh...nothing too exciting here, but nothing awful either.  Me and H and my brother are all spending the night at my parents' house for Christmas Eve and doing Christmas morning with them. Luckily, they have several guest rooms so everyone gets a bed :)

    Then we are traveling to Marc's parent's house for Christmas afternoon/evening where his mom will probably make relentless comments about this being the first year that her son didn't wake up at her house on Christmas and try to dig for info on what my parents got us so she can compare her gifts to theirs.  Our parents get along great, but his mom always feels this need to "compete" with my parents for some reason.
  • not sure where in MD you're coming to, but we have BB&Bs all ovah.

    Bring coupons with you just in case (I carry mine in the console of the car!) and travel safe.  Hope the icy weather we're expecting won't affect you in your travels, ggmae!
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_boo-hoo?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b64e5582-643e-4555-8c94-88a868765fa7Post:90464af1-9885-4a0d-9d28-78731ba3652d">Re: Boo hoo</a>:
    [QUOTE]not sure where in MD you're coming to, but we have BB&Bs all ovah. Bring coupons with you just in case (I carry mine in the console of the car!) and travel safe.  Hope the icy weather we're expecting won't affect you in your travels, ggmae!
    Posted by Andrea_Lea[/QUOTE]

    We are headed to Greenbelt. I think I do have a 20% coupon hanging around here somewhere...I'll have to check before we leave. And thanks!
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_boo-hoo?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b64e5582-643e-4555-8c94-88a868765fa7Post:7a7977c7-af83-4ed9-ae24-ac5a8ed37883">Re: Boo hoo</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Boo hoo :  I am also sad that we are missing their 1st birthday on the 28th. How lame am I?
    Posted by ggmae[/QUOTE]

    Not lame at all.  My kitties got a spoon of ice cream each on their birthday and a new cardboard box with crinkly tissue paper inside.  It's their favorite toy
  • Boo.  I was trying to not be completely obvious on your FB, but feel free to delete if you think it'll get you into trouble.

    We're back at my parents and I can't really complain.  Have a full size bed to sleep in and our own room upstairs - it'll just get crowded when bro and sil and their 3 kids come, but in a good way.  I love them too much.

    6 days is a long time - I wish you luck!
    BFP(1) DD1 born 4.17.10 @ 33w5d due to pPROM
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_boo-hoo?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b64e5582-643e-4555-8c94-88a868765fa7Post:8ad1f6ee-8ba8-4a42-ae76-bd2c9e77bc36">Re: Boo hoo</a>:
    [QUOTE]Maybe you two can invest in a queen size aerobed?  Who knows, maybe you can even find one tomorrow on sale at BB&B while you're en route to MD and then you just have to deflate it in the morning.  
    <p>Posted by banana468[/QUOTE]</p><p> </p><p>This isn't a bad suggestion at all. H and I just bought one yesterday (we're heading to a friend's birthday party on the 27th and have to camp out in her backyard as there's no room inside). The one we bought is electric and inflates/deflates by itself. Super easy and quite cheap (ours was $89). </p>
  • G--is there a cheap hotel you can stay at?  That sucks.

    Or you can always do the risky sex at the IL's house.  That's always entertaining!
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_boo-hoo?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b64e5582-643e-4555-8c94-88a868765fa7Post:6b6e6a4f-163b-4b6f-aee9-47a1d7cc070b">Re: Boo hoo</a>:
    [QUOTE]G--is there a cheap hotel you can stay at?  That sucks. Or you can always do the risky sex at the IL's house.  That's always entertaining!
    Posted by shellydiane820[/QUOTE]
    Indeed. Otherwise no Christmas sex, which would undoubtedly be rather sad! ;P 
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_boo-hoo?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b64e5582-643e-4555-8c94-88a868765fa7Post:c31d2045-a12a-4e64-a648-cb07605a5770">Re: Boo hoo</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Boo hoo : Indeed. Otherwise no Christmas sex, which would undoubtedly be rather sad! ;P 
    Posted by thesuninherhead[/QUOTE]

    That would indeed be a tragedy!  When people inquire as to what you received for Christmas, you should be able to say, "laid".
  • Most depressing Christmas ever!
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  • Although I do not have to travel far for my holiday plans...it's times like this I'm so glad I work at a hotel, discount hotel rooms...I hate sleeping on couches.

    Our friends have hit hard times so currently we're the only ones with our own place and people have been crashing at our place a lot and I feel bad I don't have some kind of bed to offer them.
  • GG, possibility of staying at a hotel?  That sucks big one. 

    The last year we spent Christmas in the US, we were at H's parents house.  Even knowing that we lived together, and were moving overseas together, they made us sleep in different rooms.  So. Annoying.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_boo-hoo?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b64e5582-643e-4555-8c94-88a868765fa7Post:7a7977c7-af83-4ed9-ae24-ac5a8ed37883">Re: Boo hoo</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Boo hoo :Betrothed - What type of work do you do? My mom is a nurse and has had to work soooo many holidays in the past. It sucks.
    Posted by ggmae[/QUOTE]

    I'm in accounting.... There's no excuse.
    kd.joseph's wish is my command
    image
    Just call me "Brothel"
    And betrothed, I'm disgusted with most of the comments that you have posted. I don't think I've ever read such judgmental comments in my life. I'm so lucky that the girls I speak to on theknot are nothing like you...I would've never come on here for ADVICE if I would've encountered a big a bitch as you. I genuinely feel awful for your children or your future children, and I think it would be irresponsible of YOU not to invest in their future therapy sessions starting now. Because trust me when I tell you honey, they're gonna need it. ~jcaruncho2010
    my read shelf:
    Betrothed 123's book recommendations, favorite quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (read shelf)
  • We bought an areo bed for our stays at my MIL's.  We spent the extra for the one that inflates/deflates itself.   Well worth it the price.  It's pretty comfortable also.

    It I had to spend xmas with my MIL I would feel the same way.  But I would just suck it up for DH's sake.  It is  of course one of the joys of being married.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • Hey! We are still here. DH is taking FOREVER to get ready.

    On the hotel issue - chances are, no. They live right outside DC, so I can't imagine finding a decent place for a decent price there. Everything there seems so expensive! :-\

    And there will be no Christmas sex. :( Even if we get an airbed, it'll be out in the open in front of everyone (and his grandmother gets us a lot in the middle of the night.)

    Thanks for all of the suggestions. I'm still sad, but I'll deal. DH knows that I am disappointed and he told me that I could stay back, but I don't want to separate from him so here we go!
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  • I know it sucks, but try to make the best of it, GG.

    I hope it works out better than you're picturing.
    kd.joseph's wish is my command
    image
    Just call me "Brothel"
    And betrothed, I'm disgusted with most of the comments that you have posted. I don't think I've ever read such judgmental comments in my life. I'm so lucky that the girls I speak to on theknot are nothing like you...I would've never come on here for ADVICE if I would've encountered a big a bitch as you. I genuinely feel awful for your children or your future children, and I think it would be irresponsible of YOU not to invest in their future therapy sessions starting now. Because trust me when I tell you honey, they're gonna need it. ~jcaruncho2010
    my read shelf:
    Betrothed 123's book recommendations, favorite quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (read shelf)
  • I feel your pain, GG. I'm in Dallas at my brother's house. My husband is at home in GA. Yeah.
  • I was going to suggest an air mattress too. The double high ones are actually really comfortable I think, I slept on one for 3 years in college :) But yeah that doesn't help with the sex issue.

    I get to go to Fort Smith, Arkansas, so that will be fun. But we're not going until the day after christmas, so we still get to do christmas with both immediate families. I'm sorry :(
    Leo says hi. He's...special.
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