Who to bring Dress Shopping

fergie1566 · December 2011

I need to make an appointment soon to look at my wedding dress. I want my soon to be mother in law and sister in law to be there along with my own mother (sister can't make it cause she is across the country) Problem is: My mother has made it very clear to me she wants it only to be the two of us after I made it clear to her I want it to be all of us. I already told the future inlaws I wanted them to go with me. How do I handle this? Anyone had this type of issue?

adktd2boots · December 2011

You can't unask. Either way someone is going to be disappointed. Maybe you can do a few minutes of just your mom, and then half hour or so later ask the others to come.

Kfudge0714 · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_bring-dress-shopping?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:7da7bd1a-510e-45a4-9262-371dc2a3e814Post:8b97a71f-4dd5-4785-923a-6b3533186e7b">Re: Who to bring Dress Shopping</a>:
[QUOTE]You get to make the decision on who goes. However, IMO, less is best. You don't want 9237493 opinions coming your way.Posted by ILoveMilkDuds[/QUOTE]

Definitely This!

But I did bring my Mother, FMIL, FSIL (also MOH), BF (Also BM) ... I am really close with my FILs so I wanted them to be a part of it too!

Mrs0toBe · December 2011

It's not your mother's decision. It's yours. Bring who you want to bring.

FutureMrsSheeler · December 2011

I just brought my mom. We went for fun, and I ended up finding the dress, but I didn't want anyone's opinion except hers anyway

cpm1223 · December 2011

I went with just my Mom to my very first appointment.

The second appointment, I brought my Mom, FMIL, and FSIL.

The third time, we did the running of the brides, so I had a huge team of people!

The final time, the time that I said "yes" I had my Mom, Dad, & MOH there, my FMIL and FSIL had already seen the dress that I said "yes" to at the second appointment so they didn't feel the need to come again.

I say bring whoever you want to, you could do a "just for fun" appointment that you and your mom go to and then schedule a second appointment somewhere else and invite the other ladies.

AshnRobo · December 2011

I'm confused. Have you already picked the dress?

B/c if you haven't then I would say less people is more. If you already have the dress picked, then more is more!

However, like others said you can't unask someone.

meganb1977 · December 2011

Assuming this is your first shopping trip, hold your ground if that's what you want and bring your fiance's mother and sister, and if you're feeling confused maybe cut out the extra opinions and go back just with your mother. But be understanding that your mother wants quality time with you and try to suggest something else wedding-related that just the two of you could do.

rlavach · December 2011

I voted for only Bride's family because I also agree that too many opinions will make it madness. I'm sure you've seen all those episodes of SYTTD. My FIL's live in another country, so at least I didn't have to worry about that.

At this point, it's hard to uninvite them, though. Perhaps you can go to multiple stores and invite them to one, but then go with just your mom to another? Try to understand your mom on this one. It is a very special time, one that she is unlikely to ever repeat again. Try to find a compromise.

Maggie0829 · December 2011

The less people the better. To many individuals stiring the pot could be a disaster. But since you have already asked then you can't un-ask. Most likely you won't find THE dress during your first appointment...this is a time to figure out what you like and don't like and then narrow down your choices from there. Let your Mom know that when you do decide on which dress you want then it will just be you and her there for the final decision but that you really want FMIL and FSIL to be there for your first appointment.

Your Mom isn't trying to be difficult, she just wants to share this special moment with you alone.

firsttimersluck · December 2011

I agree that less is more.

bring who you want.

My H and I picked out my gown. Just the two of us.

achiduck · December 2011

It's your choice. If you want to bring your mom, FMIL and FSIL I'd stop there. Adding more then that is going to get tricky.

Maybe you can compromise with your mom have her just her come to a fitting with you so you can have that private moment.

klar4230 · December 2011

I took my mom, sister (MOH) and one of my bridesmaids. The other bridesmaids all live out of town and I went dress shopping over Thanksgiving.

ChrissyLou88 · December 2011

I would bring whoever you are close with. My bridesmaids and I went twice, I found my dress and when I go to pick it up I am bringing my mom and mother-in-law to be. I want my mom their for sure, but I left it up to my MIL to be to decide if she wanted to go. I wouldnt uninvite anyone if you already have invited them though!

[Deleted User] · December 2011

I brought my sisters, mother, FSIL and FMIL. That conviently included my maids of honor and bridesmaid. before i went with them, i live with my grandparents and i did some shopping with my grandmother so I had it narrowed down to dresses that i liked and was just looking for help on the final decision. it worked out really well. you really should try to keep your FSIL and FMIL involved. after all they are (almost) family too.

jpatl67 · December 2011

Initially I wanted everyone (entire bridal party and my mom) to be with me on my first shopping trip. But that never happened. What I did instead was realize that too many (or even just a few) opinions would overwhelm me on my first shopping trip. So I went alone. That way I was with my own thoughts and initial opinions in terms of what I was truly looking for. The second time and thereafter, it was just myself and my parents. My bridesmaids are not local to me nor to where my parents live. So although I wanted everyone there (including all the in-laws) to share the experience, it just wasn't possible. I have yet to purchase my dress. But on this last shopping trip where I am about to purchase the dress, it will again be a solo trip! I don't need anyone talking me out of a dress I already love.

Sometimes you don't need a million opinions. It's what you like, what you feel is YOUR personality and what you feel the most comfortable in. Just remember that.

ashlidie · December 2011

MilkDuds has a good compromise... I went by myself, took my dad back on a separate trip (mom not in the picture) and then went a third time with FMIL, FI's grandmother and FI's brother's girlfriend (my maid of honor). Basically my dad narrowed it down to 3 he liked and I picked the one with FI's fam.

sjhansen28 · December 2011

I think it's whatever will make you most comfortable!

I went shopping for the first time with my mom, grandma and one of my aunts. The second time was just with my FMIL and 2 FSIL because it was in the city where they lived. However, it was really important to my mom to be there when I picked out my dress, so I went shopping again with her, my aunt, grandma and cousin when I finally picked out the dress.

I think it just depends on what you are most comfortable with and if you think you will get overwhelmed with too many opinions. I was glad to have more than just my mom there for opinions, because she and I have very different tastes so it was nice to have other people there. Really, it's up to you.

There's also a very good chance that you could go dress shopping more than once, so maybe if the first time doesn't work out with all of you, you can go shopping with just her the second time.

lmcmullen86 · December 2011

This is your special day and you can bring whoever you want. It will be a good way to start your marriage and your future life with your inlaws if you invite them to come. It shows you value your soon to be mother in law's opinion and that you want them to be as much a part of this as your own family is.

I brought my MOH and my mom. My sister couldn't make it. I would have liked my future mother in law to come but she is too far away!

LittleMissCutiePie · December 2011

I'm just bringing my mom. I'm her only daughter, and we've talked about this for years. She was on her own for her dress shopping because her BMs were all over the place, and my Grandma was a wreck with my Grandpa's illness (he died shortly after the wedding). She always gets upset when she thinks about it, because she was the only bride in the salon that didn't have her parent(s) there. I owe it to her. I would want just her there anyway, because I've watched WAY too many episodes of Say Yes to the Dress. All I can hear is Randy's voice in my head, talking about those ridiculous girls and their entourages.

futuremrsgates · December 2011

I'm planning on bringing my mom, my sister (MOH), my cousin (she's one of my BM's but also has a degree in fashion so she'll able to tell me which fabrics are good for which month, which fabric will be too heavy, etc. - she also got married a few months ago and will have the most recent realistic wedding advice), and my grandmother.

MrsWill2Be · December 2011

I wanted to take my FSIL and FI's cousin (both BMs), but they both live at least 8 hours away. I ended up just taking my mom and sister (MOH). Ultimately, though, it's your decision who you bring!

onemoustache · December 2011

I only had my mother. Her opiniion was the only one that mattered. However it would depend on who was paying for the dress. If mom is then you should obey her wishes...if you are they she needs to obey yours. And anyway why would you want to bring alot of people...that only cause conflict because due they ALL truly have your best interest and fashion taste in mind??? Keep it simple. The planning of the wedding is stressful enough, this should be fun!!!

fergie1566 · December 2011

thanks! thats the kind of advice i needed. it will be the first trip and i'm hoping it to be the only one

Slider_852000 · December 2011

My mom and my grandma were with me when I actually bought my dress but i had gone with friends to look, I guess it was just ment to be that i shair that specal momment with them, I only tried on one dress that day and everyone knew it was the one. Bring Who you want I would just be careful of bringing to many it can make it harder to please everyone and you dont have to all that matters is that you feel amazing and like a bride in that specal dress

timsflower81 · December 2011

My mother is super critical and has really different tastes than I do.. she also lives 3 hours away. FMIL lives 18 hours away. I took my FI and his daughter who will be the maid of honor. It was a wonderful experience but definitely not for everyone I'm sure. Take whoever you are comfortable with. Is there any specific reason that your mom only wants the two of you?

sahlaneywedding · December 2011

I brought just my mom, but then again my FMIL and FSIL had not yet met her so it would have been awkward to bring them too-- but anyways it was very nice to have it just my mother and I. It's a special momement and I think she was very honored and happy to share it exclusively with me. It's one of the few things that mothers and their daughters can do exclusively together for the wedding. That being said, I think my future in laws may have been a little sad I didn't bring them-- but I plan on bringing them to my first fitting so they still feel included.

annie912 · December 2011

The first time I got married, I went with my mom, my sister and my MOH.

This time, I went once by myself, found a dress that I loved, and then went back with my FI to get his opinion. I thought it would be weird, but it was actually a lot of fun. He'll still be surprised because I'm having some alterations done to it and I'll be all made up, but the look on his face seeing me in the dress I'm going to be wearing for our wedding was really cool.

roxiems75 · December 2011

bring who you want. I went with just my mother, but everyone wanted to go with. The only person I wanted to hear from was my mom. What I did was bring everyone back to see the 2 dresses I wanted before we purchased the dress. My grandmother really wanted to be there but I did not want her there the 1st time around. I brought my mom, MOH, BM and aunt back to see my selection of dresses and told them what dress I wanted they all cried and we purchased my dress. this way everyone was happy and I still got what I wanted. your mom is just looking for that special moment. I hope this works out for you I know it is hard.

ASWhitely · December 2011

My mom, my sister who is the MOH, my great aunt and my future mother-in-law.

My mom's opinion is the most important. My sister and I have simliar tastes, my great aunt never got to go with her daughter dress shopping because she eloped. Plus, she's kind of like my grandma, I lost my grandma when I was 5. My future mother-in-law doesn't have any daughters and I felt that she should be there.

I have no regrets about taking 4 people with me.

I tried on 8 dresses and surprisingly we all felt the same way about each dress.

The first dress I tried on was the one I went with.

ewest7 · December 2011

I actually went ahead by myself to my first fitting to get a clear idea of what I really wanted in my dress and then I took my mom and sisters to my "actual" dress try on and picked from one of the ones I knew I already liked. It made it easy for not alot of comments from everyone that would confuse me.

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