Inter-Cultural Wedding Advice?

rbcrock · May 2010

My husband-to-be is Dominican and I am white. His mom's side of the family speaks very little english, but his father's side is more Americanized. Are there any ways to avoid having an awkward reception/alienating anyone? I want to incorporate both cultures as much as possible to make for a fun day for everyone. I know that a lot of people say "it's your day, don't care what people think!" but if I know other people are having a bad time it will be hard for me to enjoy my day.

[Deleted User] · May 2010

If you are trying to incorporate different faiths, you may want to try posting this on the Interfaith board.

Other than that, I would say do some research on the Internet and also try to sit down and talk with your FI and see what he thinks would be important to his family. Good Luck!

rbcrock · May 2010

It's actually not a faith problem. Neither of us are overly religious... it's more about combining the customs and culture of the two families. Thanks though.

[Deleted User] · May 2010

Could you talk to his mom or grandma (or have someone translate it for you) to see what is typical in a wedding in their culture? And then you can sit down as a couple and decide what you want to incorporate and how you want to go about it.

MzelleRicaine · May 2010

This is something I'm working on a lot at the moment, Becca.
FI is French, I'm American, we're doing the wedding here in France. The two of you should talk to his Mom & Grams (and perhaps his Dad as well) and find out not only what's typical, but what's most important to them. In France traditionally the MIL walks the groom down the isle, and when my MIL thought she wasn't going to be doing that (there have been enough miss-understandings to fill up Grand Central at this point), she had a meltdown. When I understood how important it was to her, I made it very clear that naturally she would be accompanying him to the alter.

Try watching videos of dominican weddings, or talking to other Dominican family members, friends etc to learn about their wedding traditions. If you're bi-lingual, go onto Dominican/hispanic forums, read their wedding mags etc. The girls on my French forum have been invaluable for their advice both re: wedding traditions and understanding my in-laws.

HTH! feel free to pm me if you think I can be of any more help

*m*

preciosa4 · May 2010

I don't think it will be as scary as you fear (that anyone will have a "bad" time). Weddings are fun...really. That said, I'm preparing a U.S./Peruvian wedding. We are working to have some bilingual elements to the ceremony, and complete translations will be in the programs, so no one gets lost. We are having both U.S. and latin music at the reception. It was important to talk to him and ESPECIALLY his mother about what was important to them, and we accommodated where we could. (His mom wanted to walk him down the aisle for example. I thought it was a little different, but sure, no biggie.) Basically, the two of them (him and his mom) should be able to tell you what you need to know. For us, there was less to adapt than I thought. In terms of guests, the biggest thing I think, will be having both types of music available. Some people have ethnic cuisine, but that wasn't an option for us. If large numbers of guests are non-English speakers, I'd try to have someone translating key elements, for sure. Keep a seating chart to allow for linguistic issues. Remember...this is a party! "Dancing, cake and bride" know no cultural boundaries! People will have fun!

Inter-Cultural Wedding Advice?

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