So my Dad's going to the bachelor party

KBSK12 · July 2012

Not sure how to feel about this... I found out today that my dad is attending FI's bachelor weekend. They are close, but I always just assumed it was a weekend for him and his friends. I would never in a million years feel comfortable with his mom coming to my bachelorette weekend! I am in no way shooting this down or telling FI it can't happen, just wondering if anyone else has been in a similar situation or if you think it's strange for your dad to attend a weekend of drinking and debauchery with his daughter's future husband.

crash2729 · July 2012

Well, I'm assuming your FI invited him right?

I think it's weird and my Dad definitely didn't go to my H's b-party. However, if your FI really wants him there that's his prerogative too.

[Deleted User] · July 2012

I think it depends on what they are doing. Can I see my dad going to the strip club with the guys??? Uh no. But if they are just going bar hopping or putt putt golfing, smoking cigars, whatever....I'd be ok with that I think.

KBSK12 · July 2012

Bar hopping, golfing, cigar smoking, Steeler's game. At least that's what I've been told... I would be super weirded out if my dad and FI went to a strip club together.

Ballet513 · July 2012

My dad and brother and FI's dad and brother attended his party. They went golfing, drinks on the water, bbq at home. They ended up shooting off tons of fireworks at the bbq and he cops came, my dad though it was hilarious.

ThankfulSnail · July 2012

I've heard of this more with moms/MILs more than dads/FILs, but I don't necessarily think it's strange for the kind of event you described. Knowing what my FI is hoping for at his bach party, I wouldn't mind if he invited my dad, although I don't think he will, since he's not all that close to my dad. I think FMIL is planning on coming to mine, which I don't mind, and I will probably invite my stepmom too. I say as long as your FI wants your dad there, I don't see the problem with it.

willywally5 · July 2012

I think it's kind of odd for parents to go on these things but that agenda doesn't sound too wild for most dads. Like others have said it depends on the relationship and the activities.

(Oh, and FWIW, I'm a MOB.)

Kate61487 · July 2012

I think it definitely depends on the itinerary, and with what you've described I think it's fine. My dad and uncle and the best man's dad all attended H's b-party. They started with a Sox game then went bar hopping; most of the over-40 crowd left early. One of H's GM had a Vegas b-party that his own father and uncles attended; again they participated in some but not all activities (golfing, a few meals - not all of the drinking etc).

LeiselEB · July 2012

My dad went to H's bachelor party. My dad was really happy to be included and had a great time, and H was glad that he came.

If your FI invited him, it sounds like he wants him there. I think it'd be fine.

HockeyFan4 · July 2012

my dad was pissed he wasn't invited to H's bachelor party. I didn't find out until later...then my dad started sending me etiquette articles that says FFIL should have been invited.

Summer2011Bride · July 2012

My dad attended part of H's bachelor party. They went golfing in the morning and then drank some beers after. That's the part my dad went to and I didn't find it odd. I do agree that if he went out to the bars and got drunk with them that night it would've been weird.

FWIW, i don't think you need to invite FMIL or anything because of this, though.

ErinG93 · July 2012

My dad went to my H's bachelor party. They just drank (my dad doesn't drink, but the others did) at our local bowling alley and casino. My dad was really happy to be included and my FIL went as well. I think it depends on their relationship and what the guys plan on doing. It sounds like nothing too wild is going on, so I wouldn't worry.

mandi921vh · July 2012

My dad and FIL were invited to go to Foxwoods with DH for his bachelor party with his friends and my sister's husband, but my dad got sick and FIL couldn't go.

My mom and MIL did not attend my bachelorette party... I don't know for some reason it seems more normal (to me anyway) for the dads to tag along to the party, but not the moms.

melb2013 · July 2012

Sounds like they have a good relationship. Before bachelor parties got so raunchy, traditionally, both fathers would attend. The first time my dad got married, both of father's attended his bachelor party which was just dinner and then out to a bar... not sure why I know that.

Riley308 · July 2012

I wouldn't worry too much about it. My dad went to H's bachelor party (weekend at a cabin for fishing). It really meant a lot to my dad. If they're close and your FI is comfortable with it, I'm sure they'll have a great time.

bridejl · July 2012

I agree with many PP's that it seems to be normal depending on the FH's relationship with the FOB. My dad is planning an entirely separate bachelor party for my FH with my uncles and male cousins. I have a party family that likes to drink, and FH loves to party and drink too, so it works. I do think they are planning on going to a strip club, though, which I think would be awkward for FH. But, it's not me going so it's not my awkwardness to deal with

honeybear072012 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_so-my-dads-going-to-the-bachelor-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:70ca1e43-5313-43ba-9ad8-dfddb59daeeePost:c5882436-b3f1-4bda-a431-de6c9a850e19">Re: So my Dad's going to the bachelor party</a>:
[QUOTE]Bar hopping, golfing, cigar smoking, <strong>Steeler's game</strong>. At least that's what I've been told... I would be super weirded out if my dad and FI went to a strip club together.
Posted by KBSK12[/QUOTE]

Lurker here but I'm from Pittsburgh and I know if anyone told my Dad that's what was going on at the bachelor party he'd be there in a second. Heck, if that's what FI was doing and I wasn't invited I'd be PO'd! haha

FWIW I think that with those activities it wouldn't be odd to have your FFIL there at all. Doesn't sound like a drunken debauchery party at all.

bonge · July 2012

If your fiance wants him there then i don't see what your problem is. He is an adult, i hope you did not tell your fiance you were against it.

My mom & stepdad came with us for part of the night.

KBSK12 · July 2012

[QUOTE]If your fiance wants him there then i don't see what your problem is. He is an adult, i hope you did not tell your fiance you were against it. My mom & stepdad came with us for part of the night.
Posted by bonge[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I don't have a problem with it. And I didn't tell anyone I was against it. I just wasn't sure if it was the norm or what others have done.
</div>

So my Dad's going to the bachelor party

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