Wedding Etiquette Forum

A flame-free sharing session for the marrieds

Just so the engageds can appreciate that we made mistakes too and that we are here to help prevent them from embarrassing themselves...fess up.

What's one etiquette oops that you committed at your wedding?  Did you break said etiquette commandment because you just didn't care at the time or because you honestly didn't know any better?
The Bee Hive Est. June 30, 2007
"So I sing a song of love, Julia"
06.10.10

BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
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Re: A flame-free sharing session for the marrieds

  • We didn't do table visits at our reception.

    Why? We honestly didn't realize we needed  to.  Our sweetheart table was right next to the buffet so as people were in line, they would speak to us while we were eating our dinner.  We at least spoke to everyone this way but we didn't go to them. 

    Oops.
    The Bee Hive Est. June 30, 2007
    "So I sing a song of love, Julia"
    06.10.10

    BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
    image

  • We sent out invitations out in December---our wedding was in March.

    (but, we wanted them to avoid getting tangled up in the holiday mail---and added extra time for people to make flight arrangements because the wedding was a DW)
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  • I had a "tiered" reception, so to speak.

    I had a dollar dance AND a garter raffle.

    My bridesmaids matched...down to the shoes.


    image
    Vacation with Alix, Andy, Mandy, and FLORENCE. AND HER MACHINE.

    The Margarita Evolution
    image
  • Oh, we had no escort cards or seating arrangements either. Mostly because I felt my guests were smart enough to seat themselves.

    I had no vegetarian option.


    image
    Vacation with Alix, Andy, Mandy, and FLORENCE. AND HER MACHINE.

    The Margarita Evolution
    image
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_flame-sharing-session-marrieds?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:f81bc581-8a9a-4cef-a770-052646438fb2Post:87258669-e07c-4b4d-b79f-31b81ca329c2">Re: A flame-free sharing session for the marrieds</a>:
    [QUOTE]We didn't do table visits at our reception. Why? We honestly didn't realize we needed  to.  Our sweetheart table was right next to the buffet so as people were in line, they would speak to us while we were eating our dinner.  We at least spoke to everyone this way but we didn't go to them.  Oops.
    Posted by Mrs.B6302007[/QUOTE]

    I don't think this is too bad. As long as you got to see everyone and thank them you're good.
  • OOO, I had a slideshow that I made everyone sit and watch, and it was awesome.
    image
    Vacation with Alix, Andy, Mandy, and FLORENCE. AND HER MACHINE.

    The Margarita Evolution
    image
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_flame-sharing-session-marrieds?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:f81bc581-8a9a-4cef-a770-052646438fb2Post:a2ca703e-a298-4ec5-95ab-830c9d2cab5c">Re: A flame-free sharing session for the marrieds</a>:
    [QUOTE]OOO, I had a slideshow that I made everyone sit and watch, and it was awesome.
    Posted by crfische[/QUOTE]

    but, but you didn't do it during the ceremony right after your husband sang a song did you? (please say no)
  • No! At the reception between dinner and the father-daughter dance.


    image
    Vacation with Alix, Andy, Mandy, and FLORENCE. AND HER MACHINE.

    The Margarita Evolution
    image
  • I just felt bad later on when I realized it because it was like we made them work to get their own TY for coming acknowledgement, kwim? 

    Besides, I am big enough to admit my stupidity on this, I was a bit annoyed at the time.  I wanted to eat my dinner and dammit if it didn't get cold during all of the conversations.
    The Bee Hive Est. June 30, 2007
    "So I sing a song of love, Julia"
    06.10.10

    BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
    image

  • We made people wait while we did family and WP pictures inside the church.  Granted, it was only like 10 minutes, but we expected a longer time.
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  • Is it a faux pas to leave the wedding before your guests? Because we did that, too.
    image
    Vacation with Alix, Andy, Mandy, and FLORENCE. AND HER MACHINE.

    The Margarita Evolution
    image
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_flame-sharing-session-marrieds?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:f81bc581-8a9a-4cef-a770-052646438fb2Post:28d868eb-99f0-4555-b2b5-76529ec7258d">Re: A flame-free sharing session for the marrieds</a>:
    [QUOTE]No! At the reception between dinner and the father-daughter dance.
    Posted by crfische[/QUOTE]

    Thank goodness. That I don't mind. Its the long, long (not catholic) ceremony I attended where they played the long slide show right after he sang a song to her that bugs me.
  • I didn't do table visits. We did a receiving line, but only 20% of our guests came to the ceremony. I was pissd and thought, "If you can't come to see the reason for the party, I'm going to sit and eat my dinner instead of wasting my time on you."

    We did a bridal dance. With me kicking and screaming the whole time.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_flame-sharing-session-marrieds?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:f81bc581-8a9a-4cef-a770-052646438fb2Post:3cc2455f-b53c-40a1-a9b3-a8220e671ad7">Re: A flame-free sharing session for the marrieds</a>:
    [QUOTE]Is it a faux pas to leave the wedding before your guests? Because we did that, too.
    Posted by crfische[/QUOTE]

    See, I saw a post recently where someone asked if it was ok to do that and the general consensus was that it was rude. I see nothing wrong with that, isn't that when they do the send off anyhow?
  • We didn't even do a send off because I think they're lame.

    We just left.
    image
    Vacation with Alix, Andy, Mandy, and FLORENCE. AND HER MACHINE.

    The Margarita Evolution
    image
  • NebbNebb member
    10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    We had a partial cash bar, and did so because it was the norm in my circle and we couldnt afford to pay for more than just wine. We had a private ceremony with only our immediate family, partly to save money (would have been a couple hundred $ more to have all 80 guests at the venue instead of less than 20) and partly because I hate wedding ceremonies.
  • When the B&G leave, to me that is the end of the official reception.   They're going somewhere to get their lovin' on so anyone who's left is now just at a party having a good time.  DOesn't bother me in the least.
    The Bee Hive Est. June 30, 2007
    "So I sing a song of love, Julia"
    06.10.10

    BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
    image

  • Our ceremony and reception sites were 45 minutes apart. The ceremony was at the church my girls and I attend (45 minutes away), and the reception was at the clubhouse in our subdivision, where my (now) husband worked at the time. Had I know it was such a "no-no," would we have changed it? Probably not.

    Oh, and I printed the addresses directly on the envelopes, rather than hand write them.
  • Not married yet, but getting close.  So far -

    Wraparound labels, because FI really wanted black envelopes and I couldn't find anything to write on them that didn't look like crap.

    That's the only thing I can think of right now, but I know I've had a 'doh!' moment or two, where I couldn't find a way to do something the 'right' way for whatever reason. 
    DIY & Planning | Married 

    Married: 2010
    Mom to J: 2011
    Mom to H: 2014

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    Dresses may be easier to take in than let out, but guest lists are not. -- kate51485
  • We had a cash bar. It's accepted here, and only about 30% of the people on our GL drink. I couldn't justify paying for alcohol.

    We sent out the STD's a year in advance, only because of the way people work down here. Many of the people on our guest list work shift work at the refineries, and they have to put in their requests for time off up to a year in advance.

    My BMs wore matching dresses, but that was the extent of the matchy-matchy stuff.

  • Oh, and, I used labels for the STDs and Invites. Both were clear though.

  • Sara - we printed ours directly on the envelope as well.
    The Bee Hive Est. June 30, 2007
    "So I sing a song of love, Julia"
    06.10.10

    BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
    image

  • NebbNebb member
    10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Oh, I just remembered this one, I invited a friend of mine to the wedding two weeks in advance by email. We reconnected at the last minute and I decided I wanted to invite him and his girlfriend so I just emailed him the details, and he came!
  • NebbNebb member
    10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_flame-sharing-session-marrieds?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f81bc581-8a9a-4cef-a770-052646438fb2Post:9cc27ec0-98b9-4cfa-95bd-c664aee51f60">Re: A flame-free sharing session for the marrieds</a>:
    [QUOTE]No escort cards. Everything went well. No one had to sit on the floor. <strong>No send off. We stayed until all the guests are gone. Didn't hire a calligrapher. Postcard RSVPs.</strong> And oh yeah, we had a vow renewal and I wore a wedding dress with a train we had attendants. I didn't know we're not supposed to have attendants and when I found out, we already asked them.  I mean, it will be rude to "fire" them right, especially if the girls already have their dresses?
    Posted by Champagne Supernova[/QUOTE]
    Same here.
  • Not married yet but less than 3 months!

    We are having a cash bar.
    We probably are having a head table.
    I think we might do a dollar dance too.
    [IMG]http://i50.tinypic.com/ftla9.jpg[/IMG]


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  • Oh yeah, we had a head table, too. But that's not necessarily a faux pas, I don't think.



    image
    Vacation with Alix, Andy, Mandy, and FLORENCE. AND HER MACHINE.

    The Margarita Evolution
    image
  • oh and matching bm dresses.
    [IMG]http://i50.tinypic.com/ftla9.jpg[/IMG]


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  • Nebb reminded me - I did a "B" llist invite over the phone.  It was someone who asked me in front of other people sometime during the engagment if she ws going to be invited and I told her the whole "small venue blah, blah, blah" routine.  I thought I was doing the nice thing by inviting her when someone else couldn't come b/c I thought she really wanted to else why would she have asked me point blank?  I got bit in the butt though.  She said yes so I put her and her H down and then they didn't show.  Shoulda left the dog sleeping on the porch.
    The Bee Hive Est. June 30, 2007
    "So I sing a song of love, Julia"
    06.10.10

    BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
    image

  • FI called and invited 10 coworkers the week of the wedding. His was angry his mom invited 40 friends without asking us and was waiting for enough people to decline to fit them in the venue. Then he didn't send 2 of them thank you notes because he never got their addresses.
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  • Yeah, head tables aren't a problem as long as the BP members aren't separated from their SOs.
    The Bee Hive Est. June 30, 2007
    "So I sing a song of love, Julia"
    06.10.10

    BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
    image

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