Best man backs out 1 month before wedding!

Beantown Mama · April 2010

I am furious. Our BM is such an ass. He told Fi he is "dealing with too much right now to come to the wedding". To make a long story short, he came to visit us in NC and got my friend down there pregnant on a one night stand and now she won't talk to him.

I understand he's going through a lot, but it's not our fault he was so irresponsible. Why can't he put his issues aside to make a committment to his best friend for ONE DAY?!!

Poor Fi really has no other friends, as they have chosen a different path in life. My cousin is already a GM and the other GM is just a distant friend. There is literally no one we can think of to stand in as BM.

UGH, I'm so mad!!

Krystalynne21 · April 2010

OMG what an a$$! It's definitely not your fault, and if he knew about this, he never should have agreed to be in the wedding! One of my friend's chose his dad as his best man....is that an option?

MeaghanandMichael · April 2010

Awww that sucks! Maybe try talking to him honestly (without anger) that you are there to support him during his tough time and that you really need his support as well. I know the whole situation is hurting you, but maybe he needs a friend now too? If you at least talk to him calmly and with concern you will know you did your best to make things work and can have no qualms calling him an ass

LMKINSER · April 2010

My FI, has chosen his Father as his Best Man. He really doesn't have many close friends. He said that in life he has had no better friend than his father. I don't know if this would work with you FI. But I do think he should address it with his friend, if he doesn't he will always wonder what it would have been like. I hope things work out for the two of you.

Blueyed228 · April 2010

I was going to suggest Dad too if they have a good relationship.

Starmusica · April 2010

I also advocate the dad idea. SO sorry to hear about this! What a horrible thing to do so close to your wedding!

jonnysbride2010 · April 2010

Yuck, such a stress! I agree with Meag, definitely talk to him about it in a calm manner and see if he changes his tune! If not, I love the Dad or maybe an Uncle idea?

ashley.elissa.payne · April 2010

That's really frustrating. My fiance's BM just told him over the phone last week, that he cannot make it to our wedding and has to back out. His reason- there is a concert he wants to go to.

Beantown Mama · April 2010

I've tried talking to this BM about his issues a lot and be there for him. I even took the time to write my friend in NC a letter saying what a great person BM is and how I was disaapointed with her and that she should let him be involved, etc etc...

He is just selfish. I would never do this to my best friend EVER. Fi is not really too close with his dad I suggested his sister who he is very close with but he didn't like that idea...

Thanks for the ideas and support, ladies. I always know where to come to to feel better about wedding drama!!

crimsonlily · April 2010

ashley---r u serious?????? A concert WOW

I agree with everyone else about the father suggestion though, and if he's gonna be that much of an selfish a$$ about the situation it's probably better that he doesn't attend.

jwatts23 · April 2010

Hugs to you beantown!! Maybe give it a day or two and have FI talk to him again that it's very important to him to have them there. Is he planning on not attending the wedding at all? Or just not being a BM?

I hope it works out. That's so frustrating and totally hard to understand his stand on this.

Best man backs out 1 month before wedding!

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