Children at the Ceremony...

natemxsgirl · April 2012

Before I start, I am a believer that children are wonderful; however, children with parents who do not discipline them properly are rather annoying.

I have a lot of these types of parents and children in both my family and my fiancé’s. Originally, I had wanted an adult only wedding but after much debate with my mother (who is paying) I am willing to change my mind. This is a major issue to me because I was recently at a wedding that had several crying babies and a toddler with a temper tantrum throwing toys in the aisle and at the altar. I don’t want to be a bridezilla but I will not tolerate that behavior during my own ceremony especially when I’m paying a lot of money for a videographer.

Is it rude to have the person marrying us come out before the ceremony begins and ask for any and all disruptive children to be promptly removed (noisy toys included)? And with that in mind, cell phones/cameras/ect. shut off? How do I word this to get my point across without completely offending people?

hoffse · April 2012

That's a tough one. The reality is, there's no great way to tell people how to discipline their children. I agree that rowdy kids can be annoying, but frankly people might be really offended if there's an announcement that they need to be removed. Also, unless your church has a no video/phone/camera policy (and I bet they don't since you are having a videographer), you can't stop people from taking pictures.

StephBeanWed61502 · April 2012

Here's the thing with announcements like this - the people who are actually polite enough to comply with your requests would've done so without an offensive announcement, and the jerks the announcement is actually intended to control aren't going to listen anyway. All you'll end up doing is offending the people who know not to be rude jackholes, while doing exactly zero to change the fact that rude jackholes are going to be rude jackholes regardless of what is said before the ceremony begins.

Example: You've been to the movies recently, yes? And you've seen the announcement before the movie where they ask everyone to shut off their cell phones? And you've noticed approximately 37 douchebags in the theater whose phones beep, ring, vibrate loudly, etc. while said douchebags send and receive various text messages, FB messages, and even the occasional actual phone call? THAT'S how effective your announcement will be at your wedding.

LeiselEB · April 2012

Is the tantrum throwing toddler that you mentioned coming to your wedding? If that specific child will be coming, I'd be worried, too. That sounds pretty extreme. If it's other kids that are usually more well behaved, just try not to worry about it. I doubt an announcement will help.

FWIW, my church has the lector make an announcement about cell phones before every mass because of phones going off during the mass - but it doesn't necessarily work. Plus, some people have work obligations that require them to have their phones on (my dad's a doctor and is frequently called out of events to perform surgery, etc).

To sum up....I think you just need to let it go and hope for the best

Summer2011Bride · April 2012

I agree that the people who NEED the announcement won't listen to it anyway, and you'll just end up offending the other guests. There really isn't a polite way to say, "If your kid won't shut up, take him/her outside. Please

". I also think the silencing cell phone things is one thing at a play or before a movie, but would find it odd right before the wedding ceremony begins. Those who need the message won't heed it anyhow.

This is just one of those things you'll have to let go and hope that people are responsible for their children and remove them if they get fussy.

specialk84 · April 2012

When my niece started crying during our ceremony, the entire wedding party and the majority of my family all turned and glared at her mother. The child was eventually removed.

There is nothing you can say that will make inconsiderate people be considerate. Before our ceremony, H even mentioned to his sister that the entire service could be heard in the atrium, as a not-so-subtle hint that she should GTFO if any shenanigans started.

specialk84 · April 2012

What are you going to do if someone whips out a camera? Tackle him?

specialk84 · April 2012

I'm not trying to rain on your parade, but many people are going to think you're way too controlling.

natemxsgirl · April 2012

Thanks Harry87, a little pleasantly decorated and framed sign right near the programs would work very well. I love the usage of the word "unplugged" it sounds better than "turn the $h!t off". It also helps because I don't want the wedding video to be a bunch of flashes here and there. I'll find a tastful way to word it do to the phographer and videographer's wishes.
I know the people who will control their children will not be offended and honestly I'm starting to think of the people who will ignore the comment and I don't think I mind if it offends them (mean as that sounds) because chances are, they know its directed towards them and maybe that slight stab at them might make it better.
If people think I'm controlling then that's their business, they will look like "that ass" when they comment on it to people who are fine with it. Besides, its mine and my finace's day right?

RebeccaB88 · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_children-at-the-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:ae1b11ae-2324-47ef-b8b1-64da0e1aa9efPost:136762a4-fa3a-447b-8ffc-89adb030ec4c">Re: Children at the Ceremony...</a>:
[QUOTE] I know my family would have several members turn around and say "Do you need me to take him to the car for you?" I guess my family is kind of nasty. Posted by Harry87[/QUOTE]

I think I kinda love your family for this...

LeiselEB · April 2012

What's wrong with people turning off the flash on their cameras before taking pictures?

hannahmassey · April 2012

I'm seating people with kids in the very back of the chapel. And our chapel only seats 60 at full capacity so its super small. I am going to have the chapel director make an announcement about kids and cameras before the ceremony and that way she'll look like the bad guy, not me, hahaha. If someone refuses to take out their screaming kid, bridezilla's coming out. I dont care who's feelings I hurt.

hannahmassey · April 2012

Edit: Cameras with flash I mean.

Children at the Ceremony...

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