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Etiquette question

EmilyTorkEmilyTork member
100 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary
in October 2013 Weddings
I'm asking an E question here. I don't feel like getting reamed out or anything. 

Our ceremony site is small. Holds 120 guests. Our reception site is large, holds over 400. I'm sure you are sensing the dilemma. While I would like to keep it not HUGE, my mom wants to invite all this family (ever since my grandmother's passing she feels she needs to invite them all because they know about the wedding). I have no problem with inviting them. But that means tiering the wedding. I can only invite 120 family/friends to the ceremony (and figuring out who gets to go will be a whole other hurdle). 

Is it bad to invite some people to the reception only? I won't be excluding anyone from dinner or anything, but is it really bad to only invite some to ceremony?
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Re: Etiquette question

  • Stina51286Stina51286 member
    2500 Comments 100 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    Ours is the same way sort of, ours holds  150 comfortably 180 squished. However, I know that basically only family will show up to the ceremony. My friend got married at the same place we are and didn't have an issue. When people asked her about her wedding she just mentioned that it was a smaller place.

    But, snippet is right. Do not have a tiered wedding.

     

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  • lconoranlconoran member
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Comments
    Unfortunately it sounds like you will either have to switch your ceremony site or reel mom in on the invites. I get why some people skip cermonies (life happens) but I'd feel pretty crappy if I wasn't even invited.
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  • EmilyTorkEmilyTork member
    100 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary
    The issue is, mom wants to invite all this extended family that I barely know. I have seen them at funerals and such, but I dont KNOW them so to say. My friends would rather see me get married than this family I barely know. Not to mention most are OOT guests and they most likely wont make the trip. 

    Mom is completely fine with inviting some to just the reception. But that just doesn't sit right with me. Mom also is paying for dress and cake, so she does get a say. She (jokingly) made the comment that the extended family gives great gifts. On the flip side, she keeps telling me that this extended family will look down on me for not having a Catholic wedding. I'm so confused why she would be so pushy on inviting them if they are going to judge me (and her supposedly). 

    I already love our ceremony location. And we have paid it in full, contract signed. I'm just going to invite a healthy mix of family I know and friends. There may be an argument but I don't want to be judged on what is supposed to be a celebration.
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  • Stina51286Stina51286 member
    2500 Comments 100 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    Honestly if they are going to judge you based on the type of wedding you are or aren't having, I wouldn't invite them either.

    Just because she is paying for the cake and dress does not mean she gets a whole lot of say with regards to guests.

    FI's family is helping, not a whole lot but some, they also wanted to invited 70 couples which include their work friends and regular friends. We don't know anyone they work with and FI doesn't like some of their regular friends. This may sound wrong, but we told them if they wanted to invite that many couples of their friends they would have to pitch in some more. The amount they are giving us at this point would only cover beer so add an extra 140 people, we'd go broke paying for the wedding. Lets just say they cut their list way down.

     

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