The night before

erinchris82010 · July 2010

We are not really doing a whole lot of traditional things at our wedding and were initially thinking we would not sleep in the same room the night before. But as the day comes closer and I get more nervous I am second guessing this. What do you guys think? I have a really difficult time sleeping when I am so anxious and I know my groom makes me calmer. I also don't do really well when I haven't gotten enough sleep Do I sacrifice a tradition for the sake of getting sleep and my sanity the next day?

danieliza1127 · July 2010

It's really up to you guys. I stayed at my parent's house the night before our wedding while my H stayed at his cousin/Best Man's house. So many brides told me that I wouldn't be able to sleep regardless because I'd be all anxious, and they were totally right! For me it didn't have anything to do with my H not being there, it was just the nervousness of getting married the next day and running through lists of things that I had to do the next day and places to be. I followed some advice I'd gotten and took one Tylenol PM and then I was able to sleep just fine. We didn't see each other until I walked down the aisle.

It's going to be a special day/moment whether you see each other or not though, so it's really entirely up to you both.

SuMmErKuTiE · July 2010

Ditto pp it's up to you and your FI. We spent the night before the wedding together because we lived together and thought it was silly to pay for a hotel room just for the sake of separation or sleep on the couch at our parents house. We separated the next morning and didn't see each other until about 5:30 that evening when we did our private reveal.

aerinpegadrak · July 2010

Three words for you: wedding morning sex. One of the best decisions we made.

frogurt814 · July 2010

We stayed together. We own a house together so I saw no reason for either of us to pack up a bunch of stuff to go stay at our parents or a friends house or whatever.

KatyRoseM · July 2010

I'm worried about sleeping the night before too. I don't sleep well without him. Maybe have your girls sleep over? I'm thinking of doing that so that it will be a fun night. Also having things to do up until you go to sleep can help.

erinchris82010 · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_night-before?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:2f2e3e8d-d7f5-4155-aa3d-52d42795a0aaPost:11d77b2a-eeb2-4c57-8807-1e9059c5dc9f">Re: The night before</a>:
[QUOTE]Three words for you: wedding morning sex. One of the best decisions we made.
Posted by aerinpegadrak[/QUOTE]

hahaha I love it!!

penad5 · July 2010

We stayed together as PP said we didn't see the point of paying for a second hotel room. I ended being up and gone for my hair appointment before he was even awake anyway

If you really don't like the idea of breaking this tradition what about asking your BM's to stay in the room with you - it can be like a slumber party

Pirata13 · July 2010

We are staying separate. We wanted to stay with tradition and not see each other the day of until at the ceremony. I will stay at our place, one of my OOT girlfriends is staying with me, and FI will stay at his mom's or at the hotel with one of the guys.

Amivy06 · July 2010

We talked about this a little while ago and decided we were going to both stay at our house the night before the wedding. It will be nice to see each other before I leave the next morning to get ready. I think it will help calm my nerves as well.

megk8oz · July 2010

We stayed apart, partially for "tradition" but mainly because we both knew that we would never get to sleep if we stayed together. We would have been up all night "OMG, we're getting married in 17 hours". Seriously. We get bad enough the night before any other exciting events-like going on vacation-and we knew we'd need some sleep.

Although, we both apparently stayed up until like 4am in our respective locations anyway, so there's that.

quotequeen · July 2010

I am sticking to the tradition of not seeing each other at all the day before, which means staying separately that night. I will be staying with my mom in her hotel room. But of course it's totally up to you two.

[Deleted User] · July 2010

It is really up to you. We wanted to be traditional, so I stayed at my Grandma's house (which was a heck of a lot closer to the church than my parents house) with my sister/MOH. I only slept a few hours, if that bc my mind was racing and my heart felt like it was going to come out of my chest. I wish I would of had some Tylenol PM to take. My sister actually got me to sleep by rubbing my back, which I thought was really sweet.

sjnsjnsjn · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_night-before?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:2f2e3e8d-d7f5-4155-aa3d-52d42795a0aaPost:11d77b2a-eeb2-4c57-8807-1e9059c5dc9f">Re: The night before</a>:
[QUOTE]Three words for you: wedding morning sex. One of the best decisions we made.
Posted by aerinpegadrak[/QUOTE]

My sentiments exactly.

Ashes_3 · July 2010

I'm staying with my gf's at a hotel room and he is staying on a boat with the guys fishing. We thought that we would keep the tradition but do something fun!

wscott5340 · July 2010

I know that most people will think that we are nutz, but FI and I have decided to wait till our wedding night before we are together again. We both decided to honor each other, and God, and build up something special for our wedding night. I know that we may be both wiped out, so I am looking forward to the next morning. :-). Now...were is all of the self control??? Don't they sell that as a pill at the pharmacy?? ha ha ha

sarahmarietm · July 2010

Our bed is really comfortable, like REALLY REALLY comfortable. I'd feel bad kicking him out to sleep on a lumpy couch or spend money we don't have on a hotel. I'm also liking the idea of this wedding morning sex thing!

mserika1 · July 2010

I think the wedding morning sex will make me feel even sexier in my dress.....but I am going to my mother's the night before the wedding. Me and my FI didn't even think about splitting up the night before, so now my mother has something planned. She just wants me to be traditional.

brit_bell90 · July 2010

I'm staying home with my MOH and OOT BM, I'm not sure what FI is doing yet, but he'll probably be spending the night with a couple of the groomsmen. I refuse to see him before the ceremony, and he feels the same way.

Besides, I'm not a morning person, so morning sex isn't exactly my favorite thing =P

kristinandbill · July 2010

Go with your gut. If you’re both into the tradition then honor it!

DH and I got married quite a distance from our house so we stayed at the hotel that our wedding was at the night before. We went to our rehearsal, went to the hotel together, had breakfast together the next morning and went our separate ways after breakfast.

I do not regret this AT ALL. We were so relaxed the night before and that felt good since we had been running around every night for at least a week before with last minute details. It felt nice to actually spend some time together. And having breakfast together the next morning just kicked the whole day off well for us. I didn’t want to wake up and start running around with wedding stuff – having breakfast together set the tone for the day – that it would be chill.

Just my two cents. Good luck with your decision!

ivelissed · July 2010

Loved the having breakfast together thing! We'll stay at our parents house since it is closer than our place so we'll be staying separate but I would love to have breakfast with him that morning. That would be nice

Maureen679 · July 2010

I am going to be staying at our house with my MOH's and a few bridesmaids. My sister and BIL, who are both in the wedding, will be hosting my groom the night before, they only live two minutes from our house. So he will be with his groomsman, and my sister (MOH) will be with me. Which is actually what we did when they got married i went to her palce and her hubby came to our place. We are not overly traditional but felt after the RD we would not want to see each other until I walk down the aisle. I am sure we will chat throught the night. We both have problems sleeping without each other, but it's only one night. Not sure if I want to be a lone or have my best friend stay in my room, think it might help if she is there with me to chat. Pretty sure I won't sleep much anyway.

dmjointer · July 2010

I know that most people will think that we are nutz, but FI and I have decided to wait till our wedding night before we are together again. We both decided to honor each other, and God, and build up something special for our wedding night. I know that we may be both wiped out, so I am looking forward to the next morning. :-). Now...were is all of the self control??? Don't they sell that as a pill at the pharmacy?? ha ha ha

I definately don't think you are nuts. As I was reading the responses I was hoping someone would mention this. No disrespect to others, but in the midst of dresses, flowers, and all this wedding stuff please remember that the WEDDING is about a MARRIAGE before God. We should not be having sex until we are married...but the least we could do is not to sex the night before or morning of!! This has nothing to do with tradition, but everything to do with honoring God. ...just a thought.

Mia2700 · July 2010

Our rehearsal is on Thurs and Wedding is on Saturday. I'm going to my parents after the rehearsal dinner and sleeping there both Thurs & Fri night. He and I currently live together, so we want to separate for those two nights and not see each other at all from practice, to the real thing! ..I have to admit, I'm getting nervous about it now that its actually getting very close!

aerinpegadrak · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_night-before?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:2f2e3e8d-d7f5-4155-aa3d-52d42795a0aaPost:94b1e8d6-87de-4e17-bfe7-387b466dd402">Re: The night before</a>:
[QUOTE]I definately don't think you are nuts. As I was reading the responses I was hoping someone would mention this. No disrespect to others, but in the midst of dresses, flowers, and all this wedding stuff please remember that the WEDDING is about a MARRIAGE before God . We should not be having sex until we are married...but the least we could do is not to sex the night before or morning of!! This has nothing to do with tradition, but everything to do with honoring God. ...just a thought.
Posted by dmjointer@yahoo.com[/QUOTE]
And not everyone believes in your god, or needs to act like they do.

verycrafty · July 2010

I was adamant that we would spend the night before apart, and he didn't argue with me. However, there was so much to do/prepare/load in the car for the wedding day, it just didn't make sense. We were up late Friday night prepping and loading the car, we slept in the same bed (no sex) and were up early the next morning to meet our appointment times. I was so calm the entire time, and it was H who had to choke back tears at the altar! Let the day play out and see what makes sense for you and do what feels right.

cupcakesfrosting · July 2010

We're staying together the night before, and going out to breakfast at Hanks Creekside (Local Breakfast joint).. I couldn't imagine being alone the night before / morning of, and I'm definitely looking forward to Wedding Morning Sex..

))

kaciemtchll · July 2010

We are not staying together. My maid of honor is throwing a lingerie shower the night before the wedding and me and all the bridesmaids are staying together that night and having a girls night! I'm really excited about it because I know my nerves will be on edge, but I think this will help to keep me occupied! Then we're going to go have breakfast that morning and begin getting ready. I'm kind of old school though, and don't want to see eachother until I walk down the isle!

HanayomeToBe · July 2010

I suggest that you have your fiance spray cologne on a shirt that you like the best and wear it to bed. It could help having a scent that your familiar with calm you down. Personally, I would not sleep with my husband-to-be the night before the wedding. I am superstitious and I believe that it is bad luck to do so.

kelly&wayne · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_night-before?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:2f2e3e8d-d7f5-4155-aa3d-52d42795a0aaPost:50cdde19-ae56-4394-8268-baab3b039401">Re: The night before</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: The night before : And not everyone believes in your god, or needs to act like they do.
Posted by aerinpegadrak[/QUOTE]

Thank you aerin! I was hoping someone was going to respond to this holier than thou post with something. Your thoughts echo my sentiments exactly! My FI and I are both non-religious and are being married by a JP. Our marriage has nothing to do with any religious sacrament and it seems some people would then not recognize our marriage as equal, since it does not include their god.

erinchris82010 · September 2010

Reporting back: decided to spend the night before together and I couldn't have been happier with my decision. I took a tylenol PM and slept well. Woke up a little earlier than I would have liked to, but overall great choice to stay with my now husband. I say if you are going back and fourth and tradiditon is not a huge deal to you stay together the night before

The night before

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