quick visit with relatives on honeymoon?

andreakim · May 2010

My fiancé and I are in a bit of an argument right now. We are taking a 7 day Caribbean cruise. We are flying into the port the night before. Our cruise takes off at 4pm. I have 2 uncles that live 30 minutes away, who are also unable to attend the wedding. Since I live 2,000 miles away, I rarely get to see these uncles, their wives, and my cousins. I would like to have breakfast with them the morning before we board the ship. My fiancé says that we are on our honeymoon and should be alone. I don't think a 2 hour breakfast with family members is too much to ask, nor do I think it imposes on the honeymoon. What do you think??? Thanks for your opinion!

miah_23_ncb · May 2010

this is a good 1. I personally wouldnt want to do it but if he wanted to I would do it but try to keep it short

anglwolfie · May 2010

We're planning to visit with some of my family in CA at the end of our honeymoon. I don't expect them all to be able to come out to NJ for the wedding, so I think it'll be nice to get to see them while we're out there.

msblumoo · May 2010

I would tell your FI it will just be more preening time for you both and will add to the excitement of being newly married and due to depart for a romantic hm cruise as your Uncles and cousins will be congratulatory and happy for you. It would just be 2 hours more of feeling truly special! Sometimes with men you just have to pull out different cards to get them to see things your way. Since he doesn't buy the logical reason for visiting with these distance relatives see if he will buy the emotional "lets keep this excitement of new wedded bliss going for just two more hours and then baby I am all yours, lock me in the cabin and have your way" lol. Good luck and congratulations!

LauraT25 · May 2010

As someone mentioned, a lot of couples do a brunch the morning after their wedding before leaving for the airport, which isn't really so different from what you're suggesting. I would probably point that out to my husband, and say that I would really like to see these people. Also, it's not like it's really cutting into your fun honeymoon time, it's before you're even on the ship.

However, if he really feels strongly about it, I would probably not push it any further than that. You don't want to start the HM off with fighting and ruin your trip, or set a bad tone in the beginning of your marriage. I'm on your side here, but unless they were uncles I was super close to (which means it's high unlikely they would have missed the wedding) it's not worth the fight IMO.

JoyMatt424 · May 2010

I think that you should honor his opinion, and ask him if there is another time that you can get together with those relatives. If he says no -- then you have a problem. If he says yes -- make an effort to take a road trip out there to see them. I understand how you feel -- but I also understand how he feels.

SuMmErKuTiE · May 2010

Man this is a toughy... I see both sides of the argument here. I totally agree with your FI that it's your HM and it should be just about the 2 of you, but I also think you shouldn't pass up on an opportunity to see family that you never get to see. If it's just a quick breakfast then I don't see the big deal. But if it's taking the place of a romantic breakfast in bed at the hotel the morning before leaving for your cruise then I would say skip seeing your family and have some romantic alone time with your new husband.

LaFemmeRousse · May 2010

I don't really buy into the idea that a honeymoon "has" to be a certain way for everyone. If you really want to see your family, especially since they live so far away, I think it's ridiculous of him to refuse you that. Seeing your family for a brief breakfast doesn't somehow invalidate your honeymoon, nor would it ruin it.

We will likely be visiting friends in Mumbai on our honeymoon- we'll be in the city for a few days, and it's not like we make it over to India very often. It would be silly to say, "sorry, we can't see you," just because it's the honeymoon and that for some reason means we can't spend time with anyone but each other.

kaesha · May 2010

I'm SO with Lafemmerousse! It's breakfast. You'll spend time interacting with strangers on your cruise, so what's the big deal about spending a little time with family? Tell him to let go of his preconceived notions of what a honeymoon should be - it is whatever you decide to make it!

spinner84 · May 2010

I am 100% on your side.

jlbaxter33 · May 2010

I agree with PP, I do not see why having breakfast with your family is a big deal. Like others have said, its breakfast, not a sleep over!

I would tell FI that he doesn't have to go, you'll just go and he can check-out of the hotel and you'll meet him on the ship.

pandasquishy · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_quick-visit-relatives-honeymoon?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:1811788a-2337-4b56-a0c7-c5312af84139Post:7e59d968-473f-4231-bef3-8695c342c89b">Re: quick visit with relatives on honeymoon?</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm SO with Lafemmerousse! It's breakfast. You'll spend time interacting with strangers on your cruise, so what's the big deal about spending a little time with family? Tell him to let go of his preconceived notions of what a honeymoon should be - it is whatever you decide to make it!
Posted by kaesha[/QUOTE]

<div>This! It's only a couple hours and it's before the cruise even starts! If you never get to see these family members and you have a chance to do it, why wouldn't you take it? </div><div>
</div><div>Some posters seem to be suggesting the husbands opinion matters more than the woman's, that's just silly. You should see your family. It's not like they're bunking in your room for the whole cruise.</div>

dwebster02 · May 2010

yeah i agree with the girls above - it's only breakfast.

kaesha · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_quick-visit-relatives-honeymoon?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:1811788a-2337-4b56-a0c7-c5312af84139Post:e82c7050-7e1f-4d15-9769-5681f1fe139e">Re: quick visit with relatives on honeymoon?</a>:
[QUOTE] S<strong>ome posters seem to be suggesting the husbands opinion matters more than the woman's, that's just silly. </strong> You should see your family. It's not like they're bunking in your room for the whole cruise.
Posted by pandasquishy[/QUOTE]

Thank you for saying this, because I've been thinking about it all day! Avoiding seeing family you want to see because it's important to "honour your husband's wishes" has got to be one of the most backward thinking phrases I've seen written by non-trolls on the Knot. This isn't the 1950s! What about him respecting YOUR wishes and YOUR family? Aren't your opinions just as important as his?

glam70s · May 2010

I wouldn't go, because I know I wouldn't be comfortable and enjoy myself while I know that my FI is not happy about being there. If I could bring him around and make him see that it's a good thing, then I would want to do it. But I wouldn't try to make him do something he doesn't want to do, simply because it would bother me for the rest of the day...

pandasquishy · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_quick-visit-relatives-honeymoon?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:1811788a-2337-4b56-a0c7-c5312af84139Post:47628efc-4f14-46d1-9e50-a7653deaca9d">Re: quick visit with relatives on honeymoon?</a>:
[QUOTE]Thank you everyone! And thank you to those who supported me. I felt better sticking to my guns, and it reassured my feelings that seeing family for a bit wouldn't interfere with the honeymoon. I am having breakfast with my uncles that morning and my fiancé will be joining too. Thanks again!
Posted by andreakim[/QUOTE]

<div>Yay! I'm glad to hear this.</div>

kpasc · May 2010

I think a few hours is fine.

I've heard of people staying a few days with family or meeting up with them multiple times, that isn't my cup of tea.

quick visit with relatives on honeymoon?

Re: quick visit with relatives on honeymoon?

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