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How to deal with Chronic RSVP-ers..........?

marguerita04marguerita04 member
10 Comments
in Wedding Invitations & Paper

My FI has a HUGE family on both his mom and his dad's sides, and he and his mom are both very, very concerned about a certain group of aunts/cousins who like to RSVP to weddings, but usually don't show up.  They both want to put a very clear "note" on the invites stating something like "Please don't RSVP if you think you won't be able to make it".  I think it sounds rude and can't think of a way to word it without it sounding mean.  I'm thinking it might be a better idea to just see if that group of family does RSVP, then call them a day or two before my final head count is due to the caterer to make sure they're coming.

What do you all think?  Please let me know if you have any other ideas!

"He's more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same." - Wuthering Heights Wedding Countdown Ticker
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Re: How to deal with Chronic RSVP-ers..........?

  • sheelamarie408sheelamarie408 member
    10 Comments
    I voted to call them, but not in a "hey just making sure because you never actually show" but instead say something else. even if you are just calling to be like, "oh some invites didnt have the directions, did you get those? btw are you going to be there? I cant remember if I got your rsvp." I mean, maybe not exactly that, but i think you get it - so you can ask them casually not like that is the only reason you called.
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  • HisCBHisCB
    500 Comments
    great idea sheelamarie! make up a different reason to ask them again if theyre coming a few days before.

    the note in the invite is extremely rude.

    its hard to say why they didnt show at other weddings and how many other weddings have they no showed?? how many weddings did they go to after rsvping yes??
    10-10 siggy favorite summer picture Image and video hosting by TinyPic http://hiscb.blogspot.com/
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  • quotequeenquotequeen member
    2500 Comments
    I think a note would be pretty rude, but if for some reason you did decide to send a note, you need to reword it.  "To RSVP" means "to respond" with either answer, not to respond that you are attending.  So telling them not to RSVP if they aren't coming would be telling them not to send the reply card in at all.
    Married 10/2/10
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  • girl2bewedgirl2bewed
    2500 Comments
    I definately dont think you should put something on the RSVP that says what you mentioned above. I would just call this special group a few days before to confirm.
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  • Lisa50Lisa50 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    So, the vote is in, huh?   It looks like you (your fiance, your mom, his mom, perhaps?) will make a lot of phone calls.  Good luck!!
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