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People who came to the wedding but didn't bring/send a gift

Pretty ParulaPretty Parula
1000 Comments
in Florida-Central Florida
What do you say to them when you talk to them/run into them later? I would guess nothing, right? I don't care about getting more stuff or anything, it just seems tacky. I wouldn't go to a wedding without a gift, anyway.
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Re: People who came to the wedding but didn't bring/send a gift

  • MrsWhitneyAmandaMrsWhitneyAmanda
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Just tell them how great it was to see them at the wedding and how glad you were to be able to celebrate with them :) I had people who didn't even bother to bring cards. Oddly enough, those people are the ones that haven't talked to me since the wedding...
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  • 2010Bride2B2010Bride2B member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    That happend to me this past Friday at my wedding. I called them up and just said before i leave the hotel i wanted to make sure i had your gift and it was accounted for. Then they would say its in the car or somewhere. But it is very tacky to come and not bring a gift. Im just more blunt and will let the people know i didnt have there gift because hey it could have been lost too.
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  • Pretty ParulaPretty Parula
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Yeah, I just don't get it. I mean, we didn't just invite everyone we knew, we invited people we were really close to... and family. If I were invited to a close friend's wedding I'd WANT to get them a gift, not just do it because it's customary. Whatever.

    Half of my family members didn't send a gift. o_o 
    (Amy I'm not talking about you - just being a MOH was enough of a gift!) ;)
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  • Pretty ParulaPretty Parula
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_florida-central-florida_people-came-wedding-but-didnt-bringsend-gift?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:66Discussion:dac58fdd-a653-4a20-9ccb-5a592391290dPost:bf118b09-6205-4246-b1f6-f64c6328f9fc">Re: People who came to the wedding but didn't bring/send a gift</a>:
    [QUOTE]That happend to me this past Friday at my wedding. I called them up and just said before i leave the hotel i wanted to make sure i had your gift and it was accounted for. Then they would say its in the car or somewhere. But it is very tacky to come and not bring a gift. Im just more blunt and will let the people know i didnt have there gift because hey it could have been lost too.
    Posted by 2010Bride2B[/QUOTE]

    <div>
    </div><div>Congratulations! :)</div><div>
    </div><div>Yeah, I kinda want to make sure I'm not forgetting to send a thank you note, you know? We wrote out the thank you notes as we opened gifts, but then I realised that we didn't have TY cards for people who I knew were there and I could swear I saw cards or something from them when we were opening everything, so I just want to make sure we didn't skip over them!</div>
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  • AileeneGAileeneG member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://orlando.weddings.com/main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_florida-central-florida_people-came-wedding-but-didnt-bringsend-gift?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:66Discussion:dac58fdd-a653-4a20-9ccb-5a592391290dPost:4ba394fd-afc4-4ef6-b348-e3b7b9912731">Re: People who came to the wedding but didn't bring/send a gift</a>:
    [QUOTE]Just tell them how great it was to see them at the wedding and how glad you were to be able to celebrate with them :) I had people who didn't even bother to bring cards. Oddly enough, those people are the ones that haven't talked to me since the wedding...
    Posted by MrsWhitneyAmanda[/QUOTE]

    Ditto this. I know some of my guests weren't in a really great financial position and couldn't bring anything, so I wouldn't think much of it. Even other people are honestly such a joy to be around, that I'm just glad they came. But I had a few people who came and danced and ate, and had fun,  but didn't bring anything and flat out ignored me and DH at our own wedding when we tried to talk to them, and THAT is what I took issue with.  But provided yours aren't like that, I would just say how nice it was to have them there. :)
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  • Pretty ParulaPretty Parula
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Agreed, Aileene - I can only think of one person who was strapped for cash and wasn't too surprised to not see a gift from them. And like I said, I don't care about not getting stuff from them. But I want to make sure everyone gets a TY card if they did bring/send something. I'd feel terrible for leaving someone out. 
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  • AileeneGAileeneG member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I know what you mean, I was really stressing out about leaving people out of Thank You notes, because I heard all these stories about getting gifts with no cards/tags, so they didn't know who it was from.  But we only ended up getting 1 that  I haven't been able to figure out who it was from.  I think I know who it was from, but I don't want to call them and ask, because if it wasn't them, I don't want to make them feell as if I'm trying to call them out for not bringing something. I'm toying with the idea of sending out TY notes to people just saying thanks for coming, so nobody is forgotten, but I haven't gotten there yet.
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  • adarlingztaadarlingzta member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    You know who I am talking about and I have been thinking about it. Send him a TY card saying it was nice to have the whole family there and you truly appreciate him driving g-ma and g-pa. Take the high road. I know it wasn't my wedding but without him, you would have that picture of the entire family. We all know there will not be another shot at it. 

    LOL at knowing I was going to comment on myself. I actually have a little something here but can't finish it until your photogs get on the stick =)
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  • brit21489brit21489
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I think I will be upset too since we only really invited family and close friends. I AM really worried about gifts that don't have tags or losing something/gifts being stolen. I just don't understand how that happens if everyone I invite is a close friend. I guess I will see in under two months!  :)
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  • Theresa626Theresa626 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    That's so freaking rude. Anyway.... etiquette says to write them a thank you card and mention that you really enjoyed seeing them there but don't mention a gift.  
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  • Pretty ParulaPretty Parula
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Amy - you're absolutely right. Thanks for that point... I talked to my dad about this and you know how he is about that person, but he said it wouldn't be worth the conversation.

    Aileene, I was thinking about doing that, too... great minds!

    Brit & Theresa, I agree all the way around. Brit, one thing I thought about this afternoon is that some folks do send gifts a while after the wedding (DD's teacher was telling me today that she made a photo album for a friend's wedding and didn't finish it until a couple of months later, for ex.) so I'm reserving judgement for a while. I know I shouldn't judge at all, but I'm just not that angelic, am I Amy? ;)
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  • jmucheech21jmucheech21 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I have to agree that some people send gifts late.  I know its happened to me a few times where I send a shower gift, then I sent a bachelorette gift, then I book the flight, then I pay for the hotel, then I pay for the rental car, then I pay for my meals when I am out of town.. and by the time I do all that my bank account is seriously hurting!!  I've NEVER not given a gift.. but there have been times when I was a few months late.  From what I've read it seems as though guests have up to a year to send a gift.  I hope you do end up getting all yours!!!!
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  • umcollegegrlumcollegegrl
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    We went a TY to everyone who came, even if they only gave a card, or didn't bring/send a gift.  We just thanked them for coming to celebrate with us.

    We did receive a couple of gifts a month or so after the wedding, and then I sent another TY to those people.

    The thing that bothered me more was that my aunt and uncle didnt even bother to show up (they RSVPed yes, and my aunt told me at my shower how excited they were) and then didn't even call/email/send a card/facebook message or anything.  It definitely made me appreciate the people who cared enough to show up at the wedding, regardless of the gifts we received.
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  • Pretty ParulaPretty Parula
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Agreed, Cheryl. I had one friend ditch on the shower, ditch on the comedy club night (in place of a bachelorette party), AND ditch on the wedding. All at the last minute, after saying she would come. Seriously?
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