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Bridesmaid with Pink Hair!

AnnaleighRAnnaleighR member
First Comment
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
I absolutely love my best friend, are familys do pretty much everything together. When I told her I was getting married she was thrilled... and a little shocked. She is also my hair and make up stylist for the wedding. The day I go to do my test for my hair style she asks if she can dye her hair pink for the wedding! Our colors are black, white and red. What should I do?
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Re: Bridesmaid with Pink Hair!

  • temerityjanetemerityjane
    2500 Comments
    Well, you can't CONTROL what she does with her hair, but if you guys are close, you can ask her to hold off until after the wedding. I'm sure she won't mind.
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  • mocha beansmocha beans member
    2500 Comments
    Let her dye her hair.  Your wedding colors and her hair colors do not have to coincide at all.
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  • quotequeenquotequeen member
    2500 Comments
    What did you say when she asked you that?
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  • ImBrianFellow!ImBrianFellow!
    10 Comments
    Did you see that rabbit with the funny haircut? 
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  • NebbNebb member
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    Oh  my god nooooo!
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  • AnnaleighRAnnaleighR member
    First Comment
    I told her I didn't want her to think she couldn't be herself. So to do what she wanted. I am just dreadding my Mother in laws reaction. I don't really mind. But my Fiances family is pretty conservative.
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  • ac_in_dcac_in_dc member
    2500 Comments
    If it weirds you out, you can tell her that. I agree with TJ that if you guys are close that's totally OK.

    But you really can't do much more than that. And honestly, no matter what color her hair is, I don't think that it will ultimately be a big deal in terms of your wedding.
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  • andyandhillaryandyandhillary member
    1000 Comments
    Was she joking?  You can't really tell her not to but I'm just surprised she legitimately thinks that would look good. 
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  • andyandhillaryandyandhillary member
    1000 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridesmaid-pink-hair?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3561e294-4194-4f81-b0f2-97f8df951c15Post:468fd1fc-18c9-4eb7-8cac-74899c1659ca">Re: Bridesmaid with Pink Hair!</a>:
    [QUOTE]I told her I didn't want her to think she couldn't be herself. So to do what she wanted. I am just dreadding my Mother in laws reaction. I don't really mind. But my Fiances family is pretty conservative.
    Posted by AnnaleighR[/QUOTE]


    Ah gotcha.  Meh, it's not like your FILs will think you're crazy and weird for her hair.  She knows that by dying her hair bold colors that people might judge her and she accepts that.  Don't worry :)
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  • AmoroAgainAmoroAgain member
    5000 Comments Combo Breaker
    Meh.  Who cares.  If your MIL has a shitfest, tell her to stuff it.
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  • Simply FatedSimply Fated member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited May 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridesmaid-pink-hair?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3561e294-4194-4f81-b0f2-97f8df951c15Post:6ac666e2-08a8-4b81-9523-d7729143526a">Bridesmaid with Pink Hair!</a>:
    [QUOTE]What should I do?
    Posted by AnnaleighR[/QUOTE]
    Nothing.

    You can't control how others wear their hair. And no one will care that her pink hair isn't black, white or red.... I mean, have you asked any of your bridesmaids who are brunette to color their hair red, black or white?
    It doesn't have to be matchy match...

    Hair color doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things.

    ETA: Don't worry about your relatives. There is always going to be something offensive for them to complain about, anyway. This should be the least of your problems, lol
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  • lyndausvilyndausvi mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    I wonder if she was looking for a reaction?

    Since she ASKED for your opinion I see no reason why you can't tell her the truth.  Especially since she is BM so I assume you are close.






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  • ac_in_dcac_in_dc member
    2500 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridesmaid-pink-hair?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3561e294-4194-4f81-b0f2-97f8df951c15Post:468fd1fc-18c9-4eb7-8cac-74899c1659ca">Re: Bridesmaid with Pink Hair!</a>:
    [QUOTE]I told her I didn't want her to think she couldn't be herself. So to do what she wanted. I am just dreadding my Mother in laws reaction. I don't really mind. But my Fiances family is pretty conservative.
    Posted by AnnaleighR[/QUOTE]

    Meh. Hopefully she'll be classy and keep her mouth shut, in front of you at least. And if she wants to talk shiit about your BMs she'll find a reason whether it's hair color or something else.
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  • AnnaleighRAnnaleighR member
    First Comment
    My MIL would never say anything to my face, but we are really close so I want her to be happy with everything. I guess I should just warn her and let it be.
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  • andyandhillaryandyandhillary member
    1000 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridesmaid-pink-hair?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3561e294-4194-4f81-b0f2-97f8df951c15Post:5bac3d76-0c07-4c11-8264-88439dda4599">Re: Bridesmaid with Pink Hair!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Meh.  Who cares.  If your MIL has a shitfest, tell her to stuff it.
    Posted by AmoroAgain[/QUOTE]

    A throat punch will also suffice.
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  • AmoroAgainAmoroAgain member
    5000 Comments Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridesmaid-pink-hair?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3561e294-4194-4f81-b0f2-97f8df951c15Post:b00d22ea-ae07-4984-a358-eb1092de3af5">Re: Bridesmaid with Pink Hair!</a>:
    [QUOTE]My MIL would never say anything to my face, but we are really close so I want her to be happy with everything. I guess I should just warn her and let it be.
    Posted by AnnaleighR[/QUOTE]
    No, I wouldn't warn her.  Just let it ride.  Seriously.  If she's going to freak out, then let her freak out on her own time, and not stress you.  Unless what you're wanting is for her to get upset so that you have a way to tell your BM no.  Cause that's kind of what it sounds like.
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  • FutureMrsTRFutureMrsTR
    5000 Comments Third Anniversary
    I agree with TJ that since she asked you, if you're not comfortable with it you could tell her that if you're close.  Ultimately, it is up to her, but I don't see anything wrong with nicely letting her know how you feel.  I do think it's weird that she wants to dye it specifically for your wedding.
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  • ohwhynotohwhynot member
    2500 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridesmaid-pink-hair?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:3561e294-4194-4f81-b0f2-97f8df951c15Post:b00d22ea-ae07-4984-a358-eb1092de3af5">Re: Bridesmaid with Pink Hair!</a>:
    [QUOTE]My MIL would never say anything to my face, but we are really close so I want her to be happy with everything. I guess I should just warn her and let it be.
    Posted by AnnaleighR[/QUOTE]

    Something about this post doesn't quite sit right.  Wanting her to be happy "with everything" doesn't extend to the appearance of your bridesmaids.  You love your friend, you're cool with how she expresses herself, and that's that.  She's not a decorative piece, if you know what I mean.  If MIL doesn't like it, tough. 

    I mean, you're sweet to consider how she might react, but really it's a non-issue.  Let your friend fly her freak flag, if that's what she wants to do. 
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  • AnnaleighRAnnaleighR member
    First Comment
    She is a hairstylist and has dyed her hair for many different occasions. I guess I should embrace that she wants to do that and just have fun with it.
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  • Simply FatedSimply Fated member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridesmaid-pink-hair?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3561e294-4194-4f81-b0f2-97f8df951c15Post:895980cf-20e0-4fe9-9e3a-8783845a56d4">Re: Bridesmaid with Pink Hair!</a>:
    [QUOTE]She is a hairstylist and has dyed her hair for many different occasions. I guess I should embrace that she wants to do that and<strong> just have fun with it.</strong>
    Posted by AnnaleighR[/QUOTE]
    Yeah, seriously, this is the right frame of mind.

    Who care what the conservative in-laws think? I mean, sure you might get along with them, but if they honestly think having pink hair is scandalous, they are in for a shock, lol. Just laugh it off and if they say something rude, then offer them some bean dip and walk away.
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  • kikibabykikibaby member
    5000 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridesmaid-pink-hair?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:3561e294-4194-4f81-b0f2-97f8df951c15Post:6ac666e2-08a8-4b81-9523-d7729143526a">Bridesmaid with Pink Hair!</a>:
    [QUOTE]I absolutely love my best friend, are familys do pretty much everything together. When I told her I was getting married she was thrilled... <strong>and a little shocked</strong>. She is also my hair and make up stylist for the wedding. The day I go to do my test for my hair style she asks if she can dye her hair pink for the wedding! Our colors are black, white and red. What should I do?
    Posted by AnnaleighR[/QUOTE]

    Just curious why she was shocked that you were getting married?
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  • aMrsin09aMrsin09
    2500 Comments
    OK, I'll be the one to go against the grain here, but if my BM showed up with pink hair I would probably flip my sh*t.
    If she ALWAYS had pink hair that would be one thing, but when she could just wait one more day to do it?  Yeah I'd be upset.  A wedding is not the day for a BM to loudly proclaim her coolness and uniqueness.
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  • mizrimizri
    500 Comments
    I would let her rock the pink hair.  Just out of curiosity, what color is her dress?  Yeah, I'm thinking about how the pink hair will look with what color dress she's wearing.  If I were the BM and was going to be wearing a red dress and wanted to do something like that, I would probably go with red instead of pink for the hair.  Then again, I'm thinking about doing something out there with my own hair on my wedding day.
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  • pooh8402pooh8402
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited May 2010
    omg, the horror!  I wouldn't care if one my bridesmaids dyed their hair pink. hell, I want pink hair at my wedding but I'm pretty sure my mom would kill me. you love your bridesmaid as the person that she is, and if the person that she is wants to rock pink hair, then she should go right ahead imo. it is not up to the bride to dictate how or what color her bridemaids' hair is (unless she is paying for day of styling). and it is CERTAINLY not up to the MIL to dictate how a bridesmaid wears her hair. I'm sure that if one of my BMs showed up with pink hair, my MIL would flip her shiit too, but that is for her to deal with, not me and not my BM.
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  • TurtlesAllTheWayDownTurtlesAllTheWayDown member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridesmaid-pink-hair?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3561e294-4194-4f81-b0f2-97f8df951c15Post:83517a7c-9e37-4ebb-9c13-a80d81e437ff">Re: Bridesmaid with Pink Hair!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Was she joking?  You can't really tell her not to but I'm just surprised she legitimately thinks that would look good. 
    Posted by andyandhillary[/QUOTE]

    My BFF used to have pink hair. She's died her hair almost any color you can imagine. For the last 4 years of so, it's been black. She wants to go back to having a fun, bright color (her job is fine with that kind of thing), but she flat out told me she's waiting until after my wedding to do it.

    OP, since she asked, I think you can say you'd PREFER if she held off, but if she had already died her hair and then you flipped out about it, you'd be in the wrong. See the difference?
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  • JohnsonIn10JohnsonIn10
    10 Comments

    Your friend is your friend for who she is not her hair color right?  If so, what is the problem. Your MIL will have to accept her and her many hair colors.

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  • eastunder1eastunder1
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    She wants to dye her hair pink JUST for your wedding?  Like, in honor of it?  Thats just weird and random.  She asked your opinion, so I would give it to her and tell her you don't like the idea.  But if she just wants to dye her hair pink for no particular reason, well... its her hair.   She can do what she wants. 

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  • NuggetBrainNuggetBrain member
    5000 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridesmaid-pink-hair?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:3561e294-4194-4f81-b0f2-97f8df951c15Post:f659ecf1-7767-46af-8d98-3c186e037391">Re: Bridesmaid with Pink Hair!</a>:
    [QUOTE]OK, I'll be the one to go against the grain here, but if my BM showed up with pink hair I would probably flip my sh*t. If she ALWAYS had pink hair that would be one thing, but when she could just wait one more day to do it?  Yeah I'd be upset.  A wedding is not the day for a BM to loudly proclaim her coolness and uniqueness.
    Posted by aMrsin09[/QUOTE]

    This.  If it makes me a horrible bridezilla bitch then so be it, but honestly, you couldn't wait to dye your hair some loud, outrageous color until AFTER my wedding day?  It's not like asking someone to cover tattoos or something, hair color is very easily changable and unless she had it for a while before I would not be happy.  At all.
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  • kimheartsscottkimheartsscott member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    Coming from someone who has had pink, blue, purple, green, orange and... I think that's it, hair it is her choice to do with her hair what she wants.  BUT I do think it's weird she wants to dye it specifically for your wedding, which makes me wonder if she is joking.  Or she was planning on dying it anyway, and worded her question weird.
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  • Cyberchick10Cyberchick10 member
    First Comment
    More than anything, your guests will be tut-tutting at her, not you, that she had to do something flamboyant on your day...
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