Just Engaged and Proposals


ok this is a tough choice to make..... here is the short version My aunt (moms sister) has a new boyfriend (1 year) who the family doesnt care for as he has been physically violent towards her and ended up in jail and whatever else.... my cousin (aunt's daughter) whos is like a sister to me HATES HIM and has practically lost her relationship with her mom over him. My cousin is older,married with kids of her own. Basically my aunt cheated on my uncle so my uncle doesn't care to see this guy. So my dilemma is i would really love to have my uncle at my wedding but how do i ask my aunt not to bring her boyfriend or that he isn't invited without starting a massive family fight.... ps. we are italian so you can imagine the drama it would start. and if i say bring him then a fight will break out for sure! HELP PLEASE


  • If your aunt is in a serious relationship, which she is, regardless if you like her bf or not, he should be invited. She is your mom's sister, that's considered immediate family. They're all adults, regardless if they're Italian or not and should act accordingly.

    I would personally discuss this with your mom, to keep the peace you could invite uncle and cousin. Or cousin and aunt plus her bf. Whatever works to keep the peace plus makes your mom comfortable
  • Last post is a good idea--limit it to people together more than three years/married/engaged etc. Say it's financial. Since she is the blood relative, invite her, but say she cannot bring a guest, Often if a couple is divorced, the one who is not invited is the inlaw, but it sounds like your uncle has been part of the family for a long time. Are they even divorced yet? Awkward! If she doesn't go, she doesn't go and will just look rude. The guy sounds like a complete loser.
  • Agree with pp about trusting adults to act like adults, especially if you are having a large wedding, if they care about YOU they will want to be there for YOU and they will deal with it.
    Whoever said it was supposed to be happily ever after is a big fat liar.
  • as being a fellow italian and probably will have a few relationships like this conflicting with my wedding, I'd say don't trust adults to be adults like others said. People can get into heated arguments and make a situation completely uncomfortable and, not to mention, possibly completely ruin your day...I like the idea of limiting it to only inviting people's guests if they are married/engaged/etc. Or, if this is going to be a family mostly wedding, state to her that you're inviting only actual family and your friends...blame it on the price...it's your day, she should respect that regardless of how she feels.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_advice-please-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:baede8da-f056-4a94-9def-764293cd228dPost:7058fd5e-f261-4486-bbfa-a18e7969664c">Re: ADVICE PLEASE!</a>:
    [QUOTE]For my wedding<strong> we have decided that if someone is not engaged or married to their SO then their SO is not invited</strong>. This was done because of spacing limitations and we are enforcing the rule with everyone. I do not know if this will work for you but it is working for us so I thought I would share just in case it might be an option for you.
    Posted by skyler1108[/QUOTE]

    I'd try this. Since you are Italian I'm guessing your guest list is very large so you could also say that you don't have room as a back up to the first suggestion.
    imageDaisypath Anniversary tickers
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