Asking for "leave"

KendallR10 · September 2011

So FI is NG as most of you know. Well they don't get their drill schedules until a few months before. Training is NOV- OCT. So FI got his drill schedule for NOV 11- OCT 12 this month. He will have a general idea of what weekend drill will fall on.

Invites need to be ordered and printed more than 2 months before.

When should he ask for leave?

ETA: Please let me know if I am breaking opsec

Beachy730 · September 2011

Have him talk to his chain of command as soon as possible about your wedding date, and ask them when he can put it in. I know for H's current station he can only request leave within 60 days of when he wants to take it. But he also always has an idea of when he'll be able to take it.

KendallR10 · September 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_asking-leave?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:035495f4-cef9-4c26-a758-d39038b4d3c9Post:af83217f-f8dd-49f8-b451-e62547102a2b">Re: Asking for "leave"</a>:
[QUOTE]Have him talk to his chain of command as soon as possible about your wedding date, and ask them when he can put it in. I know for H's current station he can only request leave within 60 days of when he wants to take it. But he also always has an idea of when he'll be able to take it.
Posted by dnbeach12[/QUOTE]
I think he can ask at anytime as long as it is 1-2 months before.

Beachy730 · September 2011

If you already have your date set, have him talk to his COC now so that they are aware. Every couple months he can remind them of it. As long as the schedule is out and he doesn't have drill that weekend, it shouldn't be too much of a problem.

KendallR10 · September 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_asking-leave?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:035495f4-cef9-4c26-a758-d39038b4d3c9Post:b66b9791-aeaa-47c8-994d-4030dbb70d6e">Re: Asking for "leave"</a>:
[QUOTE]If you already have your date set, have him talk to his COC now so that they are aware. Every couple months he can remind them of it. As long as the schedule is out and he doesn't have drill that weekend, it shouldn't be too much of a problem.
Posted by dnbeach12[/QUOTE]
How far up should he go? <div>
</div><div>The CO is retiring in Jan. </div>

kyrgyzstan · September 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_asking-leave?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:035495f4-cef9-4c26-a758-d39038b4d3c9Post:d90a27b4-488d-4369-be93-ad246e54af79">Re: Asking for "leave"</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Asking for "leave" : How far up should he go? The CO is retiring in Jan.
Posted by KendallR10[/QUOTE]

<div>His OIC and his SNCOIC (or equivalent, aka the highest enlisted person in his particular platoon/shop whatever).</div>

KendallR10 · September 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_asking-leave?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:035495f4-cef9-4c26-a758-d39038b4d3c9Post:109523cf-33e9-4c00-b531-a664d5595d69">Re: Asking for "leave"</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Asking for "leave" : His OIC and his SNCOIC (or equivalent, aka the highest enlisted person in his particular platoon/shop whatever).
Posted by WishIcouldbeinthe'stan[/QUOTE]
What do those stand for?<div>
</div><div>I've never heard of those</div>

calindi · September 2011

Officer in Charge and Staff Non-Commissioned Officer in Charge (a higher ranking enlisted guy who is in charge)

SamiJoeB · September 2011

Isn't your wedding in 2013?

calindi · September 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_asking-leave?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:035495f4-cef9-4c26-a758-d39038b4d3c9Post:b6da616e-d143-4e08-b16f-5675b50c200b">Re: Asking for "leave"</a>:
[QUOTE]Isn't your wedding in 2013?
Posted by SamiJoeB[/QUOTE]

I think she's had 3-4 wedding dates already, most in different years. I've stopped even remotely trying to keep track - and I don't think I ever cared.

And they still haven't even celebrated 1 year of dating.

kmmssg · September 2011

Have him ask now but make sure your date is definite and not subject to change. You don't want him going back and forth with his chain of command when he asking to be excused from drill. It should not be difficult for him to get it unless you are getting married in the middle of a significan training exercise.

AmandaSC1988 · September 2011

The command is just going to laugh at you if you try to ask for leave 2 years in advance.(I think you said your date was in 777 days?)

Maybe it is just my FIs command, but they told him basically that they don't give a F*ck about what he wants to do in April now.... ask them when it is closer.

KendallR10 · September 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_asking-leave?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:035495f4-cef9-4c26-a758-d39038b4d3c9Post:b6da616e-d143-4e08-b16f-5675b50c200b">Re: Asking for "leave"</a>:
[QUOTE]Isn't your wedding in 2013?
Posted by SamiJoeB[/QUOTE]
Yes it is.

KendallR10 · September 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_asking-leave?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:035495f4-cef9-4c26-a758-d39038b4d3c9Post:6a170d5e-c1be-4d21-beba-b0de196cf6ae">Re: Asking for "leave"</a>:
[QUOTE]Have him ask now but make sure your date is definite and not subject to change. You don't want him going back and forth with his chain of command when he asking to be excused from drill. It should not be difficult for him to get it unless you are getting married in the middle of a significan training exercise.
Posted by kmmssg[/QUOTE]
It is deffinite

KendallR10 · September 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_asking-leave?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:035495f4-cef9-4c26-a758-d39038b4d3c9Post:80fdf3ef-d0ab-4802-88a3-963ca512750c">Re: Asking for "leave"</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Asking for "leave" : I think she's had 3-4 wedding dates already, most in different years. I've stopped even remotely trying to keep track - and I don't think I ever cared. And they still haven't even celebrated 1 year of dating.
Posted by calindi[/QUOTE]
We've had 3 all changed because of money. Is that a crime?

KendallR10 · September 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_asking-leave?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:035495f4-cef9-4c26-a758-d39038b4d3c9Post:299cbe1b-44c2-421b-bdf8-6920b88ff339">Re: Asking for "leave"</a>:
[QUOTE]The command is just going to laugh at you if you try to ask for leave 2 years in advance.(I think you said your date was in 777 days?) Maybe it is just my FIs command, but they told him basically that they don't give a F*ck about what he wants to do in April now.... ask them when it is closer.
Posted by AmandaSC1988[/QUOTE]
We don't even know if he will need to ask yet and we won't know until 2 months before the wedding. but we obviously can't wait that long to ask

kyrgyzstan · September 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_asking-leave?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:035495f4-cef9-4c26-a758-d39038b4d3c9Post:759b55bc-a74f-40aa-9b58-2c480c1e94a0">Re: Asking for "leave"</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Asking for "leave" : What do those stand for? I've never heard of those
Posted by KendallR10[/QUOTE]

<div>A. You could google.</div><div>B. I explained what a SNCOIC was in paranthesis. </div>

KendallR10 · September 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_asking-leave?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:035495f4-cef9-4c26-a758-d39038b4d3c9Post:78c483dc-922e-430a-8e1d-410b576477d3">Re: Asking for "leave"</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Asking for "leave" : A. You could google. B. I explained what a SNCOIC was in paranthesis.
Posted by WishIcouldbeinthe'stan[/QUOTE]
I was asking what it stood for

SamiJoeB · September 2011

I'm just not understanding why you're asking this question when your wedding is still that far away. That would'nt be something to worry about until... hmm... the summer of 2013. Seriously.. not a pressing issue.

calindi · September 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_asking-leave?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:035495f4-cef9-4c26-a758-d39038b4d3c9Post:90143b3f-8be7-4e1f-82a1-27122789c073">Re: Asking for "leave"</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Asking for "leave" : We've had 3 all changed because of money. Is that a crime?
Posted by KendallR10[/QUOTE]

Didn't say it was a crime. Said I didn't care. Implied (and now saying) that it's all a bit ridiculous, especially caring about this so far in advance. Most especially when your wedding is twice as long away as you've even KNOWN your FI.

KendallR10 · September 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_asking-leave?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:035495f4-cef9-4c26-a758-d39038b4d3c9Post:6b4abef6-2b7f-4ee0-a0e0-8741cd40f996">Re: Asking for "leave"</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Asking for "leave" : Didn't say it was a crime. Said I didn't care. Implied (and now saying) that it's all a bit ridiculous, especially caring about this so far in advance. Most especially when your wedding is twice as long away as you've even KNOWN your FI.
Posted by calindi[/QUOTE]
I knew FI before we started dating.

LetsHikeToday · September 2011

I am a planner so I think I'd probably be thinking about it now if I were Kendall but I'm anal and have anxiety issues so there's that :-)

Kendall- Why doesn't your FI ask whoever is in charge this question? I would assume they would know more than myself or anyone on this board. I have no idea when H should ask so I can't give you any advice.

Beachy730 · September 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_asking-leave?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:035495f4-cef9-4c26-a758-d39038b4d3c9Post:165da9ab-16b2-4bb3-86bd-7a1821552395">Re: Asking for "leave"</a>:
[QUOTE]I am a planner so I think I'd probably be thinking about it now if I were Kendall but I'm anal and have anxiety issues so there's that :-) <strong>Kendall- Why doesn't your FI ask whoever is in charge this question? I would assume they would know more than myself or anyone on this board. I have no idea when H should ask so I can't give you any advice.</strong>
Posted by LetsHikeToday[/QUOTE]

<div>Ditto. Like I said, every command is different, so he should ask them when he should put the leave request in.</div>

iluvmytxrgr · September 2011

You don't ask for leave in the National Guard. In the Reserves, we knew drill weekend would usually fall on the first weekend of every month unless there is a holiday that weekend. I'm pretty sure the National Guard drills the second weekend of every month. If he's been in for more than a couple of months, he should know this.
Pick a weekend that is not a usuall drill weekend. Let the command know. If it comes out that he is going to have drill that weekend, he can ask to RST another weekend or durring the week. It really isn't a difficult thing to do.

kmmssg · September 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_asking-leave?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:035495f4-cef9-4c26-a758-d39038b4d3c9Post:5ea67df8-494e-4fb1-8a44-bee656b56bc1">Re: Asking for "leave"</a>:
[QUOTE]You don't ask for leave in the National Guard. In the Reserves, we knew drill weekend would usually fall on the first weekend of every month unless there is a holiday that weekend. I'm pretty sure the National Guard drills the second weekend of every month. If he's been in for more than a couple of months, he should know this. Pick a weekend that is not a usuall drill weekend. Let the command know. If it comes out that he is going to have drill that weekend, he can ask to RST another weekend or durring the week. It really isn't a difficult thing to do.
Posted by iluvmytxrgr[/QUOTE]

NG units don't drill on a certain weekend of the month. My current one drills on the 3rd (usually, but not set in stone) and my previous unit commonly on the first weekend, but again not set in stone.

What is set in stone is drill schedules and they are published for an entire fiscal year. There can be changes but they are usually minor and rare because they can be tied to training locations and equipment use. Depending on the unit schedules can be finalized in the Summer and distributed or they might not be until September. In any case, Kendall would have an entire years schedule to schedule her wedding.

iluvmytxrgr · September 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_asking-leave?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:035495f4-cef9-4c26-a758-d39038b4d3c9Post:8b8cad9a-8b09-41af-b51b-c7358f691ccd">Re: Asking for "leave"</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Asking for "leave" : NG units don't drill on a certain weekend of the month. My current one drills on the 3rd (usually, but not set in stone) and my previous unit commonly on the first weekend, but again not set in stone. What is set in stone is drill schedules and they are published for an entire fiscal year. There can be changes but they are usually minor and rare because they can be tied to training locations and equipment use. Depending on the unit schedules can be finalized in the Summer and distributed or they might not be until September. In any case, Kendall would have an entire years schedule to schedule her wedding.
Posted by kmmssg[/QUOTE]

He still has the option of an RST if something in the schedule changes.

kmmssg · September 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_asking-leave?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:035495f4-cef9-4c26-a758-d39038b4d3c9Post:37f88bd5-fdfb-4f7a-b549-5443d4e6ffee">Re: Asking for "leave"</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Asking for "leave" : He still has the option of an RST if something in the schedule changes.
Posted by iluvmytxrgr[/QUOTE]

He sure does! It really is just way too early for Kendall to be worrying about all of this.

KendallR10 · September 2011

It isn't set in stone. Our date has been picked and it isn't changing

KendallR10 · September 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_asking-leave?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:035495f4-cef9-4c26-a758-d39038b4d3c9Post:8b8cad9a-8b09-41af-b51b-c7358f691ccd">Re: Asking for "leave"</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Asking for "leave" : NG units don't drill on a certain weekend of the month. My current one drills on the 3rd (usually, but not set in stone) and my previous unit commonly on the first weekend, but again not set in stone. What is set in stone is drill schedules and they are published for an entire fiscal year. There can be changes but they are usually minor and rare because they can be tied to training locations and equipment use. Depending on the unit schedules can be finalized in the Summer and distributed or they might not be until September. <strong>In any case, Kendall would have an entire years schedule to schedule her wedding.</strong>
Posted by kmmssg[/QUOTE]
If you read my first post. I would have 2 months before the wedding

SamiJoeB · September 2011

Her point was, September 2011 is too early to be asking when he should ask for leave for your November 2013 wedding. Besides that, its your FI's CoC, not yours, so he should know better than any of us. It depends entirely on the CoC. Some chains want 1 month, some want 3-4. It's up to them, not us. Have HIM ask.

kmmssg · September 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_asking-leave?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:035495f4-cef9-4c26-a758-d39038b4d3c9Post:2facb90f-c769-418c-876a-c9eb9651841a">Re: Asking for "leave"</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Asking for "leave" : If you read my first post. I would have 2 months before the wedding
Posted by KendallR10[/QUOTE]

Kendall - surprisingly something is wrong with that. I have been AGR in the NG for almost 26 years and it doesn't matter what state or territory you are in, your drill dates ARE locked in more than a year out. They have to be approved all the way up to the state HQ and funding/logistics/training events have to be coordinated and funded. Every single state and territory runs a 12 month trainign calendar.

I work at the state level and have worked with National Guard Bureau directly for many years. I know how the training system works and your FI's drill dates ARE locked in far in advance of 2 months.

ETA - Drill dates are published at the beginning of the Fiscal Year. Towards the end of the Fiscal Year you won't know the dates 12 months out but the unit is in the process of locking them in and getting them approved. Every August or September your FI's unit has approved dates that are published and distributed - Most unit members need to furnish that info to their civilian employers.

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