Okay, so my FMIL and I do not get along. We play nice when we see each other but she makes it pretty clear that she doesn't want her son to marry me and gives me all these mean little jabs. But whatever, I can get over that. My FI is also her only child and she is VERY opinionated. Regardless of money, in her mind, what she says, goes.
A few weeks ago she asked my FI how much money my mother was contributing to our wedding and said she'd match it. FI knew how much money my mom was helping us with told her right away. My first thought is that I don't want to accept any money from her because we're going to disagree with her on many important wedding decisions (guest list is already an issue). My FI agrees with me on the money thing and is upset at himself for telling her what my mom was contributing. Now, after the fact, we both think she'd see it as rude if we told her that we had the money handled and don't need any from her - she knows we're broke. We're doing a destination wedding with an at home party (I don't like to say "reception" because it's really not..) Can we ask her to pay for/host the at home party (which would cost less than what she initially was told my mom was contributing) and still make our own decsions for the wedding itself and let her make the decsions for that party?
I really don't want to sound like I want her money because I don't - I know she wants to help out her only son and she has told me that she's saved for his wedding. I'm really not..that mean of a girl and I don't want our relationship to get any worse if she helps us with the wedding and we don't agree on things. I'm trying to do whatever will make everyone happiest - regardless of funds.
Help!
P.S. - I'm at work so if I don't respond right away that's why. I promise I can handle mean responses.
THANKS LADIES! I'm freaking out here...