What do I do with this girl????

starsrock80 · June 2010

My fiance has a long time best friend who is a girl. He wants her involved in the wedding but I already picked and advised my bridesmaids. And with him chosing 3 groomsmen, I don't want to add another bridesmaid and be off balance. (plus she is half way across the country, making it hard for fittings, etc..) I would also like to place her in the wedding I just don't know where. I thought about making her like a head usher (she would be way more organized then the two guys that are going to be traditional ushers). Thoughts.... Suggestions??

ryandjen11 · June 2010

My fiancee also has a female best friend and we are going to have her and her husband sit in the first two rows with his family. We thought that was a good compromise? Good luck!

banana468 · June 2010

Why can't she stand on his side?

Not sure why being across the country has anything to do with fittings. You can have a dress tailored anywhere.

trix1223 · June 2010

Groomswoman.

Living where she does has absolutely NO bearing on her getting a dress. That's an excuse, not a reason. Not a single one of DD's BM's lived locally. They all were able to get the dress without any issue at all. They were all able to find a seamstress to alter what needed to be altered.

If she's a GM, it's even easier. You can have her in the same dress as your BM's or she can wear a black dress.

And finally, are you really saying that symmetry is more important than friendship? For the sake of what you perceive to be a "balanced" photograph, you'd have your FI leave a dear friend out of his WP?

You get to choose your WP. You chose your 3 friends. He gets to choose his WP. He chooses 4 friends.

Won't you still be married at the end of the ceremony? Please don't stay rooted in a 1950's idea of what a WP has to be.

GL

LoveBugBaby · June 2010

Why not have her do a reading for you guys?

stina93446 · June 2010

Groomswoman like everyone else said already. Sides don't need to be even.

suz62984 · June 2010

If you are really set with your even sides than make her a reader. Head Usher is just a BS job like giving out programs, etc. I still think groomswoman would be best.

zitiqueen · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_this-girl?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:abc96e1a-62f6-49b0-b8ca-866d17257affPost:a2892953-c61c-487a-95db-8bf13f14f2fb">What do I do with this girl????</a>:
[QUOTE]My fiance has a long time best friend who is a girl. He wants her involved in the wedding but I already picked and advised my bridesmaids. And with him chosing 3 groomsmen, I don't want to add another bridesmaid and be off balance. (plus she is half way across the country, making it hard for fittings, etc..) I would also like to place her in the wedding I just don't know where. I thought about making her like a head usher (she would be way more organized then the two guys that are going to be traditional ushers). Thoughts.... Suggestions??
Posted by starsrock80[/QUOTE]

gottahavashorti · June 2010

Groomswomen. The uneven sides will be fine, and the 'balance' will already be thrown off by the groom matching the GM while the bride is in a big white dress.

mbcdefg · June 2010

Have her pick out a black dress and stand as his groomswoman.

Get over the even sides thing. It's more important to include people you love, and it's crappy to exclude a good friend just because it "throws the numbers off." Your guests aren't there to count sides. They don't care who's up there with you if they aren't already friends with your attendants.

I thought about making her like a head usher (she would be way more organized then the two guys that are going to be traditional ushers).

Wasn't this a Full House episode? As I recall, Danny was very hurt and insulted to be asked to be Head Usher instead of a groomsman. Better be careful that this girl doesn't whip out a guitar and start singing sad songs.

CTGirl30 · June 2010

Just b/c she's a woman doesn't mean she would have to stand on your side. She should stand on the side of the person she's closest to and that sounds like it's your FI. So it would make most sense to have her be a groomswoman, as so many others have suggested. Mixed gender WPs are much more common these days than they used to be, as are uneven sides. Please get over the need for matchy matchy sides - that's placing the emphasis on arbitrary numbers rather than people and friendships. Would you rather your FI didn't get to have a dear friend of his in the WP b/c she would have been number 4? That's sad. You choose your side and he chooses his and if he would like her as a Groomswoman, so be it.

The attire issue is simple - either she wears a black dress (or navy or tan, whatever color the guys are wearing for their suits or tuxes) OR she wear teh same dress your bridesmaids are wearing. Easy. A dress can be ordered and tailored anywhere in the country so the fact that she doesn't live next door is an excuse, not a valid reason for her not being in the wedding party.

aerinpegadrak · June 2010

A person should stand on the side of the person with whom they have the closest relationship, not the person with whom they share the most similar anatomy.

emilyinchile · June 2010

Even-ness of wedding parties = not important.

Distance of WP members = not important.

We had an uneven WP, and 3 of my BMs live on a different continent. Somehow we all got our acts together (they even wore matching dresses! the wonders of the internet allowing us to coordinate!), my marriage is valid (I think), and most importantly, both H and I got to share our wedding day with our best friends.

HisCB · July 2010

ditto groomswoman. ditto location not mattering, ditto sides not being balanced.

i will be a groomswoman in my bffs wedding he will be a bridesman in mine.

i will have 5 attendants my fiance will have 3.

head usher is a dumb job. if you think that the organization of things is something she will ENJOY doing, then she can do that, as a groomswoman.

my "ushers" are 10 and 11 years old. so they will think its cool, not a lame job.

llmw07 · July 2010

Hostess?

banana468 · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_this-girl?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:abc96e1a-62f6-49b0-b8ca-866d17257affPost:2c2cf51e-83d7-4588-9366-e6122b5448ee">Re: What do I do with this girl????</a>:
[QUOTE]Hostess?
Posted by llmw07[/QUOTE]

i wouldn't unless this is some traditional role that SHE wants.

starsrock80 · July 2010

I had suggested the groomswoman thing to him and he is not interested in that unfortunately. I agree with the idea that you should stand with the person you are friends with. Her husband is going to be groomsman so she will already be sitting up front at the wedding and reception, but good idea. And we aren't having any readings. I guess we will have to get over the balance thing. I guess my true worry is that me and her are cool but we don't really talk, she is truly his friend. It feels ackward placing her there when the others I've known for 15 plus years and her for only a couple.

What do I do with this girl????

Re: What do I do with this girl????

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