Wedding Party

One BM assumes our old friends will be BMs too!

I have a few friends from college that were very close to me at the time but we have since gone in our own directions. We still talk but we are not nearly as close as we once were. When I asked one of these girls, whom I am still very close with, if she would be a bridesmaid she immediately assumed that all of the girls would also be asked and was so excited about it. It was incredibly awkward for me but I tried to explain to her that, although the other girls would surely be invited to the wedding, they weren't going to be invited as part of the wedding party. She kept questioning me about it as if she was trying to change my mind.  She even tried to tell me that these "new" friends aren't as close as the "old" friends and won't be around in another decade!
At first it really bothered me but I took the higher ground and explained that I chose my bridesmaids based on my current friendships, not past or future.  No one can know the future and I don't know if I will still be close with these friends in 10 years, but I can certainly hope. I also said that I was so happy that she and I were still so close and that it meant so much to me that she agreed to stand up there with me during the ceremony. The subtle compliment shut her up about it and I haven't heard a complaint from her since then! 
In my opinion, your bridal party is between you and your fiance. I won't let anyone try to tell us that we're making a mistake if it feels right!
Has anyone had a similar experience that might be helpful to other brides/grooms? 

Re: One BM assumes our old friends will be BMs too!

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_one-bm-assumes-old-friends-will-bms?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:311f906c-e6b4-490e-bdf1-b1961f96b5cbPost:b970a711-b9a5-4d44-aba5-1cf46956113a">Re: One BM assumes our old friends will be BMs too!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Sounds like you've sorted that out, which is great.  You owe no-one an explanation about your choices for WP at all.  Sometimes, the more you try and explain, the worse it gets. 
    Posted by deepcovejackie[/QUOTE]

    Totally agreed. Go with your choices, you made them soundly and carefully, don't be swayed into saying anything more about it.
  • I haven't had that experience w/re to my bridal party, but I definitely have with my guest list.  My old college friends assume that everyone they keep in touch with from college, who were at best casual friends of mine then, are invited to my wedding.  I've had some awkward conversations with my buddies about it, but really, my wedding is not a college reunion for my friends... sorry, it's not.
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