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The No-Shows that said they were coming......

pengee1pengee1 member
10 Comments
in Wisconsin
So I just got married this past Saturday, and right now what I'm struggling with is those that RSVP'd that they were coming and didn't bother showing up.  Nor did they bother calling, emailing, etc to let us know they weren't going to make it after all.  What annoys me the most, is that I still have to pay for all this.   I could never imagine doing this to someone, but unfortunately we are all different and some don't have a conscience or clue.   I'm curious to know what other brides did in this situation if anything at all?  Did you address them?  Just drop it?  I don't know what to do, and I know it will continue to bother me.   Thoughts?

Thanks!
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Re: The No-Shows that said they were coming......

  • boxcarboxcar member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    We had two no-shows. One old friend who isn't very reliable, didn't surprise us that he didn't show, but at least sent a card.  Another, with a family of five, sent her "notification" with another guest the day of the wedding, but hasn't made any contact at all. 

    We aren't sure how to react--we probably won't do anything about it. Its sad to say, but our relationships are probably best left as acquaintances going forward.

    Weddings are devisive. Sad, but true.
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  • ehathewaehathewa
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    This did not happen to me, but I'll go ahead and say drop it. 

    If you are legitimately concerned that they became seriously ill, got in a car accident, etc.  You can call them to say "We missed you at the wedding, hope everything is ok"  but you cannot call and chew them out for not coming or ask them to pay for their plate etc. 
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  • JelennyJelenny
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    My brother had a few no shows which was tough because his wife wanted a very high end wedding so it was a pretty penny to loose...in fact one of my cousin's was sick and they had no children allowed - and she sent her son with my uncle to the wedding....really???

    But the girls are right - you in a way have to let it go - don't focus on the few that burned you but rather all of the people that came to support you
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  • pengee1pengee1 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Thank you all for your responses so far.  I knew what the right thing was to do, but sometimes it's easier to actually go through with when you hear it from someone else.  I will let it go......

    Thanks!
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  • Jules08Jules08
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    We had about 15-18 no shows: a few called that day, but most did not.  We had a room minimum to spend rather than a minimum headcount.  So it wouldn't have made that much of a difference to us.

    We missed them, but didn't make a big deal of it and NEVER said anything to them after.  Life happens and we understood that and would never want to put our guests in the position of feeling bad about that.
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  • vitacosmopolitavitacosmopolita
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    You have to drop it... We had about 4 couples not show but we also had people just show up that weren't invited. Fabulous right?!  It did sort of balance out. But we wish we would have known so we could have given our venue a lower number and hence, paid less.

    As annoyed as I feel about it (still, a little bit) I had to realize that somewhere down the line these people didn't learn proper etiquette.
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  • jessgosz310jessgosz310 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I had this happen at my shower. It was a really good friend that I've know forever, so I went from being upset to nervous something bad happened the whole shower. I did end up talking to her just to make sure she was okay. Turns out she had forgotten to let someone know, but it can be frustrating thinking people will show up and then they're not there. Maybe just drop an email to the people to make sure they're ok.
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