not taken seriously!

rbrittany · October 2010

My fiance and i are 19 and 20 year old college students and we have been dating for 3 years and are beyond excited to start our life together.

But we always seem to have trouble with people not taking us serously. besides the fact everyone who meets us thinks we must be pregnant(we arent) they all think that we are going to flake out or something. instead of are you excited we get is it still gunna happen.

also everyone we deal with to plan the wedding doesnt believe us. i was actualy turned down to try on wedding dresses because they thought i wasnt serious.

my question to you all is how do you make your friends family and wedding wedding vendors take you seriously?

palmettogirl924 · October 2010

If the stores you are looking at buying dresses from and the vendors are refusing your business then they aren't worth your time to begin with. Why would you deal with vendors who don't take you seriously?

19 and 20 is a very young age to be engaged, but it's what works best for you and not everyone else. You don't owe anyone an explanation of why you are engaged at the age you are. Ignore the negativity, plan the wedding you want, and find new vendors!

You shouldn't even stop to question your own engagement! GL!

careyblackmar · October 2010

I remember getting those looks when FI and I were your age (ha, it makes me sound old!) and had been dating for 3 years as well. I know if we were engaged back then, we'd have gotten the same looks and questions. It's not easy. Just know that it's your decision and nobody else's and as long as you and FI are comfortable with it, then who cares what they think? And as far as vendors, move on if they quesion you. Like PP said, they're not worth it. There are plenty of other vendors who are willing to take your money who won't bat an eye at your age.

riesr · October 2010

Me and my FI are 19 and 20 too and also have been dating for three years. And we have to explain why we are engaged to EVERYONE and it's hard not to get discouraged when everyone is looking down at you I understand completely. We waked into a venue and got the same reaction and after about two mins of being treated like we were 10 we walked out. Hopefully all the discouragement wont ruin all the fun in the engagement process. GOOD LUCK!!!

bethsmiles · October 2010

You need to make people take you seriously. I would have asked to speak to the manager of the bridal store. Don't let people walk all over you.

courtlfischer · October 2010

Well first off you guys aren't to young. Age is just a number in this day and age. When it comes to the vendors not taking you seriously all I have to say is don't bother going to them. Find a place that works with you and opens its arms to you. To all those other vendors that didn't "agree" with you two getting married, well they just lost out on business and lets hope they can afford to turn you guys away.

As for the family and friends I understand how hard it is for you. I'm 21 and my FI is 25 and my family thinks I'm in WAY over my head. I just sat down with my mom and told her the facts straight up. Just let them know that the love you two share for each other is enough for you two to be married. I sadly, gave my mother an choice about being at my wedding because of the way she was treating the situation.

Well I hope it all works out for you and keep your head up. Your engaged, happy, young, and things will get better and work out! Congrats to you two.

nicweaver · October 2010

I kind of know what you are going through. My fiance and I are both 21, and will be 23 when we get married. I honestly thought I may be too young, but I think that was just me scaring myself haha. Now I am completely comfortable with it because I've been with him for so long (four years), and we've lived together for three years. And my mother was 23 when she got married to my father, and they have been married for 23 years, so I look up to her for that.

My advice is just like the others. As long as you are mature and know exactly what you want and are responsible then don't worry! Find vendors that will accept you and don't care about your age.

Good Luck!

nbcarlson · October 2010

I know how you feel! FH and I get that all the time! We are both 20 and will be 21 when we get married, but people always notice my ring and are shocked that I am engaged so young. I just tell them I have been with FH for 5 years and that usually puts them in their place haha. I never thought I was too young to be engaged when FH and I were talking about it. So when I started getting those things i never thought twice about it!

As for them being rude to you I haven't had to deal with that. But my mom is always with me when we do wedding related things becuase my parents are peying for everything so that may help.

dordtgrl4 · October 2010

I have the same issue. We are both soon to be 20 and when I tell people my age they look at me like "Seriously? You are getting married now?" Then I tell them how long we've been together (3 years) and that we are totally serious about paying for our own wedding and they usually shut up. I've learned to tell them how it is. I'm the one dishing out the money, if they want my service, fine...then help me. If they don't, I'll go somewhere else that will appreciate branching out to different audiences. Show them you're serious and congrats to you both.

i3rooke · October 2010

Don't get discouraged. My Fiance and I are both 22 years old and will be married at 23. We both look young and people often misjudge us. When I went to go try on my wedding dress i ordered the lady first said, "Oh, picking up a prom dress?" and I was so frustrated. Remember that you are doing this for your fiance and you, not anyone else. There will always be the people telling you that you are too young to know what you want, but in my parents generation it was weird if you werent married by 20. Standards have changed extremely and I really dont know where people get off with their judgement. You love your fiance and they love you, just keep reminding people that you two are adults who care about each other, and whether or not they approve of it, it is your next step and your choice. Good Luck!

kelseydjames · October 2010

Isn't it the worst?! My fiance and I are both 19, we'll be 20 in the winter and married in the spring. Not only do we get everyone asking if we're hiding that we're pregnant (which doesn't make any sense, since our engagement will total 15 months..) and we're not sleeping together, but the worst is the strangers. Everytime someone I don't even know finds out I'm engaged, they're always like "um, why would you do tat to yourself?" or "run away, right now." It's awful. Yes, we ave to learn to ignore them, but I'd really like to deck them in the face first.

skylarjo04 · October 2010

Completely understand. We are both 19 and have been engaged since we were 18 and no one took our engagent seriously. My mom didn't take it seroiusly until she went with me to buy the dress! We still have some people in our lives, unfortunately some of my family and friends, who still try to tell us its a bad idea but we know what we are doing and we know the risks we are taking. I dont think I have to prove myself to anyone but proving them wrong so they can shut their mouths. One night someone who was competely against our engagement sat down and just heard us talking about the wedding and our plans for the future and she completely changed her mind once she saw how together we had it. We had completely impressed her with how strong our love was, our morals, our religous foundation, our good planning for the future that she even ended up saying that we had it more figured out than people 10 years older than us. I can't wait to hear what people have to say about our marriage after we've been married for 20 years

literarymuse · October 2010

Yeah... I'm actually really happy because I feel like people take us more seriously now that we're engaged. I felt like before, people would always look down on us because we were just "boyfriend and girlfriend."

That is absolutely ridiculous that they wouldn't serve you. The other girls are right. They don't deserve your business at all. I also agree that you can't let them walk all over you. That's just wrong.

It is really frustrating, but it's something we have to deal with because we're young (my fiance and I are both 21 and will be 21 and 22 when we get married), but when you've been together for this long already... I mean, what's the sense in waiting? When you know, you know.

younge bride 101 · October 2010

I am 20.. FI is 23 (not to mention some lady asked him today if he was even eighteen lol so he looks younge for sure..) I have the same feelings other than my family is supportive his is descusted... ITS BEEN SIX YEARS! its so annoying but honestly who we get most the flack from is ppl we dont know... so aggervating bc they dont even know us!!! anyways walk in like you own the place if they dont want your buiesness or money then just leave!!!! they are not worth it!

soprano19 · December 2010

We've definitely been there. I'm 23, FI is 22 and will be 23 by our wedding, and we've been together for 6 years. We're definitely not the first of our friends to get married, though, which does make it a little easier for us in terms of people taking us seriously or not. We didn't get engaged until a year after we graduated college, when FI was working and I had just gotten my teaching credential. By that point everyone expected it, so everyone took us seriously. We haven't had any issues with vendors so far either.

To be honest, one of my biggest worries was that people would say, "Oh, you're so YOUNG!" instead of being happy for us. I think waiting until after college to get engaged was a very wise choice, even though I didn't necessarily think so when we were actually in college. By then we had figured out how to be independent and take care of ourselves and each other. We've also changed a lot since we've been together, and even though we're still not completely the people that we're going to be, I feel like now we're ready. Two or three years ago, we definitely wouldn't have been.

not taken seriously!

Re: not taken seriously!

Choose Another Board

Search Boards